Big Fuckin Skull


	Biographies


	Name: Skull Fu Skills: Bass guitar, has black belt in every martial art invented, transdimensionality Distinguishing features: Super tall Age: Unknown Birthplace: In the East Death: Ground zero, Hiroshima Known Weaknesses: None

An enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a lie wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma, little is known of the being that is now called Skull Fu prior to his arrival on our planet, plane, and time. It is speculated that he has traveled the cosmos alongside the Big Fuckin Skull Itself. The earliest reports of his earthly existence are recorded in Pliny the Elder's second novel The Antipodes. It is known as fact that Skull Fu was charged by the Big Fuckin Skull with organizing the original skull platoon, and for nearly two thousand years he failed. And then they dropped the A-bomb on Japan, and Skull Fu was there. When the dust settled, Skull Fu was dead, charred, radioactively glowing, tall, and most importantly, he was pissed. He abandoned his search for skulls and then he deafeated the evil wizard and then he single-handedly stunted the growth of the US space program by killing a teacher lady when he blew up the Challenger space shuttle. Then, using his ability to exist in all times, places, spaces, etc, he traveled far and near seeking the evilest, toughest, and most dastardly handsome scoundrels, rogues, and villains to comprise his skull platoon. He found them. With his skulls in formation, Skull Fu then attempted to make contact with the Big Fuckin Skull for further instructions. There was no reply, and Skull Fu and company have been searching for It ever since. And then one day Skull Fu was just gone. Where or why or even how continues to elude even the most well-versed of Big Fuckin Scholars. Was he seduced by the evil of the Imposter Guttwrench who lied to him or something like some of the theologians are saying? Or like some of the other theologians believe, did he finally fly the unicorn through the rings of fire and wash his hands of the music biz entirely? A whole other group of theologians were speculating one time that he may have reunited with the Big Fuckin Skull Itself, and is out there even now, masterminding the grandest of crusades and the greatest of conquests, and that one day he may yet return, and we will all fly the unicorn through the rings of fire. Some local kids claim to have seen him at the library.