Big Fuckin Skull


	Biographies


	Name: Kyle Matthew McKyle Skills: Stringed instruments, Minion mastery, disc golf and he'll kill you if you think that's fuckin funny Distinguishing Features: Murderous glower, gloves, glowing ribcage Age: 117, barely Birthplace: Prince Georges County, Marylande Death: Never lived Known Weaknesses: None

Once upon a time, one hundred and seventeen years ago or so, Kyle Matthew McKyle was born, and the horses out in the barn screamed until they died. He had horns until they fell off when he was 6, on June 6th. When he was 13, they grew back. He gored his whole family to death with them and came out as a demon from hell. Kyle McKyle was tearing down the countryside when he happened upon a virginal washerwoman at a wishing well. She made a wish for a beautiful, kind and noble prince to show up and take her away from her wicked stepmother. Kyle promised he would grant her wish if she would kiss him. When she stood on tiptoe and leaned toward his face, Kyle bit off her lips, bit huge nasty bite marks all over her breasts, and mutilated her genitalia with his horns. McKyle's "Demon from Hell," incarnation, which many fools had considered a passing phase, only got infernaler over the course of the nineteen-hundreds. His demon seed was sown in thousands of chicks, resulting in hideous abominations beyond counting. He toured the New England countryside, killing indiscriminantly with his hands and his horns and his hoofs. Sometimes he wore a lab coat and threw mutilated dogs and beat on peoples' cars with an ax. In 2001 he ripped his face off and joined the band. If you have ever had a loved one brutally slaughtered in an unsolved crime, you can bet your ass Kyle McKyle did it.