Big Fuckin Skull


	Biographies


	Name: Joe Christmas Skills: Drums, making it winter wherever he goes Distinguishing features: Teeth coming out all over his face Age: 504 Birthplace: Rainin, Spain Death: Cursed by Aztec sun worshippers Known Weaknesses: None

Born in Spain, Joe Christmas was a soldier sent to aid Cortes in the conquering of the Aztecs in 1519. While sailing across the Atlantic his ship was attacked by the dread pirate Walter Willison and Joe Christmas, the only survivor, was taken aboard the pirate’s ship. He was held captive for a long time before they finally just made him walk the plank one day and he washed up on the beaches of Mexico. He made his way inland, but of Cortes he could find no sign. Then he stumbled across a band of Aztecs who had hidden themselves from Cortes in the jungle. They took him in and extended to him every courtesy. That night while the natives slept, Joe, ever the conquistador, butchered the peaceful natives and declared himself their god. He stole their treasure, and raped their women, and stole the diamond eye from the statue of their snake god. In the morning, when the high priest (whom Joe had neglected to do away with) came out of his hut and found Joe passed out among the corpses of his people, he cursed Joe to wander in eternal winter. And he did, until Skull Fu found him drunk and alone at the North Pole in 1999.