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"It's weird how a wonderful day can suddenly turn into a tragic day, just from someone forgetting to bring the beer." -Jack Handey
Brought Remington to the seele party yesterday, which went pretty well, although I did feel a little embarrassed when he said he'd been three (or maybe five) when Saturday Night Fever came out. Then again, he felt like that too. Ah, the fun of dating up...
Went off to Rumsey with Remington last night, which was lovely, had a great time.FINALLY got to sleep in with him around, which was great. Albeit the conversation that night got rather too disturbing for my taste. Namely, he admitted he wants kids sometime. Zoe once told me that she had this sneaking suspicion that he secretly wants to knock someone up. I told him this, and he said "That's not true!" He was still denying it last night, but it was so obviously true it was ridiculous... I don't want to have kids. Like, ever. I may reconsider the whole thing when I hit his age, but not for ages am I even going to think of such an awful thing. Pregnancies run rockily in my family, and frankly, I don't wanna risk it. Not to mention that I think I'd severly screw up a child. So that scares the holy crap out of me... "you go have a kid with Zoe if you want one" is more my opinion of things.
He mentioned that Zoe had some sort of thing she had to go to that she couldn't bring him to, so he wanted to be with me on Friday night. Well, obviously I was happy about that. And he said he'd give me a ride to my Sat. morning final (the buses don't run, so it's a pain in the ass), and Zoe apparently liked the idea of going to Chris's barbecue on Saturday. All nice good news, right?
He checks e-mail before going to work, and she says how about just coming up here after the barbecue? (she's been griping about driving to Davis a lot) Okay, not as good, but still pretty good.
In general, I was somewhat puzzled about things upon returning home. I got an e-mail from the jerky columnist on the Aggie that has always annoyed me, after he read this gripy post that I did about the columnist on the ng. I debated writing him back, but eventually decided that I did not want to get mixed up with such a well, jerk. Well, he doesn't sound like he's a jerk, except to well, girls. And that pisses me off.
Remington was weird about this, vaguely hinting that guy might like me, seeing as he wrote me back, therefore he must care about my opinion, therefore it's a step away from falling for me. That if he went for me, he'd improve. I obviously disagreed with this (ridiculous), and said he couldn't like someone he hadn't talked to or even met. So he then goes "had I met you before we went out?" Yeah, but you hadn't fallen for me, right? "Not quite, but I was close enough." Awwwww...."all I needed was a little push." Between him saying stuff like "Mine!" a lot, and this, I get all mixed up. Then again, after the last time he bugged me to get another boyfriend, he said "you'd still be mine."
Well, he goes to work, all three of us are online, she leaves, I ask
what was up.
All of that is now out the window. She doesn't want to drive up. She
doesn't only want to see him from Sat. night to Sunday. Okay, that's
understandable, he said he'd skip the barbecue then. I'm annoyed that I'll
have to find a ride to it, but oh well. So I then ask when he's leaving,
Saturday morning?
Nope. Friday night.
And _that's_ when I get all upset.
I would have been fine if things had just gone like I normally plan
them. He's gone on weekends, fine, whatever, I can find things to do.
But then his saying he'd be around, I had to rejuggle. Then his canceling
I have to rejuggle again. I hate that.
But the worst part about it: It got my hopes all up, then dashed 'em.
And I really, really, really, really, hate that. And I started feeling
all miserable, and even, god forbid, _crying._ Geez, what a stupid thing
to cry over, for chrissake. I just want to tell him to leave me the fuck
out of his weekend plans, that's not even supposed to be my problem. I do
not like that treatment at all, and I don't want to get pulled around
like this. I almost said that to him on IRC, but did manage to restrain
myself. I know he wouldn't like that.
I did say that I think he should just reserve weekends for her, because
pulling me into the mix baffles me, and then he started whining that
"but then I don't get to ever do weekend-y things with you..." No, you don't.
"And that sucks." So then I had to say again that there's nothing
that can be done, and he's just going to have to resign himself to out
of town weekends. He then griped about her not wanting to come to the party.
He kept apologizing, but it didn't help my state of bummedness any. I even
said that "I'm not even supposed to be worrying about what you do on the weekends."
and he said "aww... :(" Then I started whining about how I was now
disappointed and the back and forth bummed me out and I couldn't figure
out why I was telling him this. "Awww. Well, I really hoped I would
get to see you, too. :("
And that's when I started crying. Thank God I was only talking to him on IRC and he couldn't know that I was crying.
Later I started talking to this chick about going clubbing sometime in April, and he wanted to go...I said he couldn't go unless Zoe wanted to, he said she probably would, then I remembered that he had conferences to go to in April. Oh, and the girl said I could borrow her corset if I wanted, and now Remington wants to get me one..."I think you'd look ragingly hot in one." Awww. Maybe I've found something he can get me for my birthday?
So I ended the conversation with him feeling better, but still, that bothered me. Maybe something to mention to Zoe, and maybe not.
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