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An how was yoah holiday? Mah holiday was interestin' an' worthwhile, though it's been a mite longah than Ah `spected.
Thing is, Ah don't have much to rant `bout that Ah kin talk `bout an' not much to say othahwise...
Mah lil' project to write `bout all that happened to me has turned into a damn family project an we's built a whole `nothah site jus' to house it, called th' Dark Castle. Mail me ifn' you want's the url, ah cain't link to it heah.
THAT kind `o site!
Well, annyhow, oncet that's runnin' smooth, Firewheel Vortex will move to heah.
Thing is, though, that page is laikly to be blocked by th' laiks o' SmurfWatch, not because o' what's on it, but because o' what's around it.
Ah'm jus' goin' to slab in the disclaimer foah that site, cause it's a jim-dandy rant an Ah wrote mos' of it mahself.
A note from latah: Aftah Ah done posted this, Bob went an' changed it all. We got a bettah `preciation o' th' value o' an AVS in protectin' th' youth o' oah society `gainst anythin' in particular. So we ditched it, gritted oah teeth, ate ouah crow an' rated with RASAC as bein' the leas' objectionable alternitive.
Ah tell you though - runnin' a so-called "adult" site, you run into some oh the leas' adult people you evah hope to meet. An' sadly, that tells us a bunch, don' it? But we persist in' tryin' to disprove Gresham's Law. You wan' th' url, you mail me an ask me nice, ok?
First,
a word from wetware.org who urge you to think responsibly...
This Site is Protected By the
Human Brain!
For some very good reasons why rating is a bad idea, check out peacefire.org.
While much of the information on this site is completely inappropriate to the average child, there are children who are not average and who are in situations where they need to know this stuff. They know who they are. <
They are the ones who have to get their education from the gutter because if they even mention the idea that they have a sexuality, daddy will castrate them with rusty pliers or sew them shut, depending on gender.
Abusive? No shit. Happens every day. Sometimes literally.
So I will not rate or block this site. Anything that's publicly accessible is potentially needful information or examples for kids who grew up like me. Even my "grownup pages." Especially those pages. They have "redeeming social value."
Now a word to pre-teen hackers.
Yes, you know what an autoexcec.bat is. You know how to end run anything that your installer-program-dependant parental units can set up. They still don't know that you have a larger collection of net.porn than they do. I was 12 once too. The technology changes but hormones are always with us.
I don't label my stuff "adult" just because it's explicit or kinky; I label it "adult" because you need some perspective to appreciate it. So please, turn off the computer, go outside and get a life. Exercise those hormones (in a kind and responsible way) on other living persons. Fall in love. Get dumped. Have your heart broken. Nearly die of frustration after making it only as far as third base or stopping someone else before they reach home plate.
Until you realize that other people are not just meat puppets put on this earth to be ogled but are real peoplewho are put on this earth to be loved, my stuff ain't for you.
Nothing personal, but you won't get it.
Some of my other stuff, let's just pray that it never makes any sense at all.
And a word to parents. Never mind the sex stuff. What about alt.skinhead?
I'm serious - I would rather see the average child with a loaded handgun in their bedroom than a computer with a modem. Our culture at least teaches that Guns are Dangerous and if by chance a parent is too stupid or oblivious to point this out, they have a fairly good chance of survival.
But with a modem, they can Get Ideas. That's the whole point to the damn thing, after all!
If you have not taught your child to evaluate ideas critically, you may just end up living a tragedy and blaming it on the Information Stuporhighway. But it ain't, it's your fault. Censorware is just a way to delude yourself into thinking you are Doing Something when in actuality you are provoking a problem.
Remember those hidden Playboys? Remember the dumb ideas you got from them?
Some of you are undoubtedly still paying alimony to some of them. Or getting it, after finding out that you just weren't born to have a staple in your navel.
So you should be making sure your kids get better information. I can guarantee you, they are sure getting more of it, so you'd best think of that - and then maybe take your kids on a tour of some of the better sex sites and tell them what's right and what's wrong with those pictures. Give them a moral context to work with and you can let them read Playboy, Playgirl or Bitches with Whips. Or even The New Republic!
Caveat voyeur!
Ah don' much feel laik rantin' an' this month has been so packed that we's been havin' trouble findin any time to sit at th' keyboahd, so couple-three rants sorta came an' went, unexpressed.
But Ah ain't gonna talk moah `bout what got me into trouble, so Mistress says Ah bettah think fast then, cause she wants this collumn out foah this month.
Well, Ah suppose, Ah have somethin' to rant about. Ah was hopin' Ah'd have a guest column this month, `cause Ah knew it was gonna be busy an' all, but the person who promised nevah came through on it. So Ah'm gonna try an' say pretty much what she woulda said, ifn't she was what she said she was, which might-could be she wasn't.
Anyhow, Ah ain't gonna embarrass her by namin' names.
What th' rant `twas `bout was th' problem o' givin' kids sexual info when they need it - not so much rammin' it down theah throats, but givin' it to `em when they ask.
Now, th' usual dodge is to say thas' the parent's job. An' it is - but it ain't a job that gets done real well, real often. Specially ifn' the kid `spects theah sexuality maight could be somethin' a lil' lessn' conventional.
If'n a kid - an' Ah mean one with fully functional gonads, what could get them into a mort `o trouble with one pitch oah catch - is askin' foah information from a third party because they cain't ask theah parents, it kinda puts the third party in a real tight bind.
Y'see, communicatin' sexual infoahmation to a minah is a crime, lots `o places. Theah's an exception foah sex education, but mos' sex education ain't particularly educational, `specially ifn'n you happens to be queer in some way oah anothah.
Think they's gonna be teachin' safer anal sex in junior high any time soon? Ah snickah, jus' thinkin' of it. But the plain fact is, `nuff kids is doin' it that damn well should be taught.
Usual way to get `round this is to leave a trail o' breadcrums on th' web an' let the lill' buggers find it, while piously sayin' that it's adult material an' anyone undah 18 should go away - laik that's gonna happen!
Ohah even worse, what ifn' th' kid is into serious kink, laik we was? We - th' Firewheel System - was into leathahsex afore we undahstood that leahtha had anythin' to do with it. Oha sex, come to think of it. Ah mean, by five oah six.
Now, sure, thas' because o' abuse, near as we can figger, but that jus' made it even less laikly we'd ask ouah parents `bout it. Hell, it would have been near suicidal, even hintin' at it!
An' thas' a reality. Kids that need the heaviest info are the ones that damn well cain't ask theah parents, cause laikly the kids got that way because o' the ver' bastards that was supposed to make sure they grew up all shiny, happy an' normal.
An we know how we got ouah info. We snuck it. We swiped it. We borrowed it. Anything that would tell us something - anything - `bout oah sexuality. Mostly that was porn, an' it's a damn poor way to learn `bout youah sexuality. Unfoahtunately, it's also the single mos' common way, an' will be until folks realize you cain't let people walk around ignorant `bout somethin' as important as that, `cause eithah they is gonna find out from somewhere - and get dumb ideahs - oha worse yet, think they don't need to know nothin' an' just fiddle `bout without any infoahmation atal.
Oh, sure, some kids will be responsible an' nevah even touch themselves lewdly, much less touch anyone else. They's a name foah that, too. "Sexually Dysfunctional."
What, you think they's gonna get ovah it at the age o' 21 an' start givin' you grandkids? Ain't laikly. Lessn' they's married to a rapist...
And remind me to tell you sometime `bout how they get sperm outta psycologically impotent males. It's real colorful an' `bout twice as humiliatin' as youah wors' nightmare.
Helluva price to pay foah an' illusion of purity an' innocence.
So ovah th' nex' lil' while, Ah'm gonna be puttin' resources heah foah kids an' parents to find. An' they is gonna be `splicit. Not dirty, jus' `splicit.
Written so any 12-yeah ol' can read it - oah any parent, foah that mattah. `Cause we don' want no 12 yeah ol' parents!
An' ifn' you have a bone to pick with me `bout that, well, you know what you can do with that damn bone! Somebody gotta do somethin' an' ifn' you is upset with me, ah'll bet mah las' dollah that you is part o' the problem Ah'm tryin' to address. Ah want you to think on that, deep-laik, an' think ifn' tryin' to keep yoah baby girl all pure an' innocent an' uncontaminated by "ideas" is worth th' risk of her gettin' clap oah Aids oah pregnant - oha goin' steady with some `busive perp, jus' to scratch an itch she can't even admit to herself, much less talk `bout to anyone.
You think on that, afore you hit that email button. `Cause mebby if you is real pissed off, you need to talk to someone else mor'n you need to yell at me.
Heigh-ho!
Ah'm kinda late on mah rant again. Mostly `cause ain't been much motivated to peek out last couple weeks. Frankly, th' body was hurtin' too much foah mah comfort! Someone fianally admitted that it was hurtin' moah than was reasonable or propah an' went out an got some Naproxin. Lovely stuff - works jus' as good as a 292 foah us an' no foggies. An' that brings me to th' topic of mah rant t'day; Chronic Pain.
Fact is, pain is th' wors' soat o' disability to have, `specially ifn' it comes with nothin' to show foah it. We ain't even classified as disabled foah it though it would be right and fair foah that to be so. (We have a diagnosis of Affective Disorder and Chronic Depression.)
Thing is, though, there's no way to tell how much pain someone is in, othah than askin' `em. So there is the natrural human tendancy to tell `em that they is makin' it up ifn' theah ain't no clear reason foah it. An' with us, thas' the case. We have some sort of arthritus that affects mos' ever' joint - hereditary thing, hurts like hell, doesn't seem to do much damage, though.
`Long time ago we learned that complainin' `bout it didn't get no sympathy. When we lived at home, ouah soi-dissant daddy-o had chronic pain from back problems, so ouahs didn't count none, even aftah it got bad `nuff in ouah knees to have an osteopath bendin' needles full of vegitable oil an' cortesone `round oah wanderin' kneecaps. Hurt laik a sonofabitch. But the pain was so bad an' we improved so much we actually looked foahward to it. But that pain didn't count none, eitha soaht. Ah quote that red-headed Nazi docta;
"Vhat iss a little pain? It vill make a MAN uff you!"
Ah swear!
Now, you can `magine how much that impressed me! Well, actually Ah wasn't theah much. Ah had a choice an' bein' no fool, buggered off jus' as fast as mah etherial butt could move! But Ah heard ALL about it!
Actually, don't know if he was a Nazi, he was German an' he sure had some right-wing political ideas an' he enjoyed his work way too much.
Raight now, we cain't stand in one place foah moah than ten minutes without oah feet screamin'. It's worse ifn' it's concrete we's standin' on. So heah we is, in a big strong healthy-lookin' body, nothin' missin' oah funny-lookin', an' we's sittin' down on th' bus an' lettin' little ol' ladies stand. Gets a body looked at.
So thas' one reason why Ah ain't out much, `sides from the esthtics of bein' in a body of th' wrong gender entirely. Sometimes it jus' plain hurts too much!
An' thass wheah the rant comes in. Because Ah see jus' how judgemental some folks is. Chronic pain is jus' one `zample, but it's a good one. Fact is, lots of people think that pain ain't somethin' that should be admitted, talked about oah used foah a reason to slow down none. They look on pain treatment as bein' silly, some of `em; sayin' that folks is jus' whinin' an' lookin' foah attention.
You get into real, serious, intractable pain - the soat that needs heavy opiates - an' you find out all `bout judgement. Had a couple tastes of that - nothin' permanant, thank heavens - an' you find out folks is so worried `bout you gettin' addicted they pretty much have to be convinced you is gonna off yoahself - oah someone else - if you don't get some. But don't be too pointed `bout it - then they'll be sure you jus' want to get high. Ifn' you get the impression that this is a catch-22, you's dead raight.
It's kinda laik bein' fat. Ignorant folks say it's jus' because folks eat too much. Now, we ain't fat, but we sure did have a hefty ex an' as `twas us doin' the cookin' as often as not, Ah know she ate no moah than we did. Happens she had an adrenal disodah, ended up with her covered in hard fat - blubber, really - that was as firm as youah bicep.
Ver' comfy, too, Ah must admit!
Anyhow, Ah did heah th' whispahs. One thing thin folks can't seem to handle is a fat person who ain't conspiciously dietin'. As if everone is s'posed to be the same size, oah if eatin' rabbit food would help everbody.
As it `twas, didn't much mattah what she ate, any moah that it would mattah to anyone else. Happened that her noamal weight - because of the adrenals set the "normal" point, `least partially - was nigh on 300 pounds.
Looked kinda laik the Venus of Willendorf - an' sexy as all hell. All that adreneline an' androgen made her a raight firecracker.
But everone though she was jus' a fat slob an' a glutton, `lessn' they happened to learn different.
An' with us, folks think we is a lazy slob, `cause sometimes doin' a load of dishes is `bout all we can achieve, ifn' we can manage that. Because they cain't see foah themselves why somethin' is the way `tis, they think that the explaination is obvious. An' what's obvious to mos' folks, seems to us, is to think ill of othah folks foah no really good reason.
Now, you get into mental disabiltes an' it gets even worse. Tha's why we have a policy of flat out tellin' folks we is multiple, `cause while we ain't spectacularly multiple, we's changeable enough that it tends to bother an' confuse folks ifn' they don't know what's goin' on an' they do come up with some of the mos' insultin' "explainations" foah it.
We've been accused of bein' gay. Hell, growin' up it happend so much that we figured we may as well try it. Turned out to be only partially true, though those parts enjoyed the hell outta themselves.
We've been accused of bein' a pothead an' a speed freak too. Can't abide either, point of fact - mos' times we feel wierd enough without addin' to the brew. An' the depression - jeez, the numbah of folks that jus' wants to cheer us up, oah worse yet think that ifn' we jus' act all perky that nasty ol' "demon of dispair" will just give up an' go `way.
Well, come to think of it, ifn' theah was such a crittah, the nausea maight jus' get to it at that. Mostly though, it jus' gets to us an' we have to s'ppress the urge to throttle the perky folks with theah small intestines.
But what pisses me off most is folks that talk `bout all such things - specially "invisible" disabilities, laik Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - as bein' "excuses." Wa'al, sure, some folks do use such things as an' exuse foah bein' misrable sonsobitches oah useless wastes of space, but mosly disabled folks ain't makin' excuses, they's statin' reasons.
That ol' statement applies; afore you judge someone, you walk a mile in theah shoes. If'n you cain't find them shoes, mebby you should just take their word foah it that they pinch a mite.
Ah jus's cain't win. Here `tis, `bout halfway through the month an' Ah ain't been able to get nothin' written `till now. Gettin' fingah time ain't so easy sometimes.
Th' reason is real simple. Bob done got himself all tangled up in one of them Usenet flamewars an' all that typin' jus' purely went down the drain. Ah s'ppose Ah could give y'all the Dejanews references foah it all but Ah doan care ta perpetuate damfoolishness.
Anyhow, Ah done learned a few things from this that maybe may coporial cognate missed in the confusion, so Ah'll jus lay it out foah him an maybe y'all will gain some benifit from it too.
Doan' argue with damn fools an' Yankees. You shoot em, you don' argue with `em. If you cain't shoot `em you jus' ignore `em. Ignorin' em is usually cheapah, lots less paperwork an' ifn' you ignore `em real good, well maybe they get so frustrated they have a stroke oah somethin'.
But iffn' you can't shoot `em oah ignore em and they won't have a stroke, remembah this. When they's started to sweah atcha, you won. Grin and walk away. You get all pissed off, you jus' encourage `em.
Remembah, if'n you is arguin' with someone who can send five posts to yoaha every one, you know a few things raight off. First, they cain't have much of a life, oah else they can type five times as fast as you can. Second, they ain't likely actually thinkin', they's jus' substitutin' insults and canned put-downs foah insight. Third, they ain't laikly got a worthwhile `pinion in the firs' place, oah they wouldn't have to try an' shout louder than you is talkin', so see mah comment about arguin' with damn fools an' Yankees.
Finally, if'n you say somethin' that's plain sensible to a bunch of people an' they freak out on ya, ain't becuause you did somethin' wrong, it's because they did an damn well know it. So if'n you insist on makin' the same point, they's jus' gonna get madder an' madder an' bein' viler an' viler until you either give up oah they all die of nervious prostration.
The foahmer is moah laikly; nevah underestimate the power of human denial an' stupidity.
Finally, if'n someone wants to win th' fight so bad that they try an' hurt you in real life, you gotta ask yoaself if the point needs makin' all that bad. An' if they's dumb enough to try an hurt you in real life raigh out in front of God an' everybody, jus' walk away, `cause you jus' won. Congratulations!
Fact was, none of the folks on `tother side were smart `nuff to parse a sentance that had moah than two clauses; mos' of `em didn't even read the posts they was disagreein' with, they jus' scanned foah somthin' cheap they could pick on. You see that happenin' you should know you is pickin' on folks that ain't in youah weight class so ifn' they don't have the good sense to listen to you on the firs' pass, jus' go away an' let `em wallow in their own ignorance.
Ohah to put it pithier, you won't make no money sellin' th' Encyclopedia Britannica in no trailer parks. ..
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Copyright 1997, Bob King
