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Now, ifn' you isn't D/s Affected - but then, who ain't? Ah mean, think `pon it foah a minute. Domination an' submission... Ifn' you evah had to say "yes, ma'am," oah face the consequences, you IS!
But say that you say you ain't... well, why don' you jus' `ply foah a Blue Maxwell `ward, then? Bob ain't gonna be checkin' up on you oah fussin' `cause somebody tattled on you. Prolly foahward the missive to you foah yoah `musement.
If'n you earn a Blue Maxwell, you earn a Blue Maxwell. Simple, straightfoahaward, th' way it should be. Mind you, `tis `warded foah conspicious courage on the web, `cetera, so you might not qualify foah that, even if you is Phenomenal. Hm. Gotta think on that. Mebby we need anothah one aftah all.
Anyhoo, this `ward is foah Phenomenal Women, jus' laik th' othah one that shall remain nameless. Now, considerin' who's doin' the givin', ah ain't gonna be too picky `bout yoah genetics. Ifn' you thinks you is a woman, then you is.
An' theah ain't no othah stupid restrictions, laik you havin' to have yoah own pages separate from the special person in yoah life. Theah's those o' us that that ain't `propriate foah; eithah they's jus' totally married oah they's heavy into Lifestyle an' you jus' don' go out in public without yoah partner because it ain' propah! Ah'm a south'n girl, Ah understan' these things, even if'n they is a pure mystery to damnyankee feminists.
Come to think o' it, kinda left lotsa multiples out in the cold too, didn't it? Aftah all, in heah, well, they is a few Phenomenal Women [ahem] but not to put too fine a point `pon it, none o' them is named Bob King! `D'spite th' copyright statement on the bottom which is theah jus' foah lawyers an' damnyankees.
Ah have lots o' dirt gathah'd from heah an' thah `bout how awful an' silly this whole contremps with spider@spidersempire.com is, but th' thought o' puttin' it all up jus' makes me tired. Fact is, this heah's gone from bein' an excercise in outrage, thorugh bein' a planned satire, right into legitimacy.
But ifn' you feel you must say somethin' bout the whole mess, an' how put `pon all us folks are foah bein' th' subject o' arrant bigotry an' hate speech, you can difference yoah `ward, ifn' you still have it.
Jus' turn it upside down! Oha ifn' you laik, stick this graphic - coincidentally sized jus' right to fit - undahneath it. That should get th' message across.
See how nice it looks with th' `zample ah created so ah wouldn't be sued?
You can link it to heah, oah you can link it to Enchantress's Secret Garden (ifn' you ask nice), ohah you can link it to www.eff.org. What the heck, makes a change from a blue ribbon, don't it?
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Copyright 1996, Bob King
firewheel@oocities.com