"A woman in love is a very poor judge of character." -Josiah Gilbert Holland(I wrote this entry, then saved another entry over it =(...so I will rehash as much as possible.)
Remington got back online Monday afternoon, and didn't seem to be too fazed by my stalkerdom (ugh). He said if the guy showed up and did anything, I'd know what he looked like and then we could form a posse. Then in response to the other one (I ended it by saying that I wasn't going to die today, phew), he said cool and then invited me to dinner.
On the newsgroup, he was much more well, mmmm, defending of me. I loved it. =)
Subject: Re: Christine & Jennifer: Playettes of the year Date: 9 Feb 1999 00:20:41 GMT From: Remington Ola said: }Jennifer Rutherford (jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu) wrote: }: > Are you implying that every time a man does something for a woman, he }: > should expect to get laid? }: Yes, he is. And that's why he is not going to get laid. Unless he's }: paying for it, maybe. }Once again, I mention the fact that you are in no position to open your }mouth and comment on this topic... I find your command of facts quite... questionable. Jennifer is in exactly the appropriate position to comment on this topic. She, at least, gets dates. }One who is so gravitationally challenged shouldn't be throwing stones. }Now put the Big Macs down, take a step back, and ask yourself, do you want }to get in the mix? (a) I've never seen Jen near a McDonald's, much less a Big Mac. (b) Her only challenge to gravity is that it has nothing to pull on. (c) Even she could still probably kick the tar out of you at Tekken. Are you sure _you_ want to be, as you so colorfully quip, 'in the mix'? -- Remington Subject: Re: Christine & Jennifer: Playettes of the year Date: 9 Feb 1999 01:52:05 GMT From: Ola You dont know me. You dont know about me. Conclusion: Talk what you know and nothing more Remi. Say your line for me "Its not fair man, I wanted to be an engineer". (Reference: Higher Learning). : I find your command of facts quite... questionable. Jennifer is in : exactly the appropriate position to comment on this topic. She, at least, : gets dates. (a) what, you stalk her or something? with her 24/7? (b) thats not what that double chin suggests. it looks like gravity is pulling quite fine (c) I'm sure I could name a million people who could beat me in Tekken. Is that a status thing or something? Is that how you establish your hierarchical social structure? I mean, I only posted that message for Jen and Christine, and every body had to open their mouth with a freakin opinion. Well, this is how we're gonna do this. and i'm going to make it PC since there might be little kids reading.. Screw Jen, Screw Christine, Screw Remington, Screw M. Talbott, Screw babblefish, Screw comp geeks as a staff, group, and individual persona, and if you wanna be down with the punks on here, then screw you too. Now I remember why I stopped posting to this NG.... Im out $ (I lost the response Remington did to this, but he said to a. "No, just date her.") Subject: Re: Christine & Jennifer: Playettes of the year Date: 9 Feb 1999 05:35:48 GMT From: Susan Remington wrote: : Ola said: : }Now I remember why I stopped posting to this NG.... : }Im out : We should be so lucky. Oooh Jennifer, baby, you gotta be impressed. Remington (who hates being flamed) is actually engaging with Ola over YOU!! Oooh this is exciting! Susan R. Ah romance and the sound of dueling pistols...
(I answered that I was impressed on ng, then e-mailed Remington that he'd be rewarded for that later =) He said "Awww.")
It was, well, odd seeing him again after knowing that he'd been off with her this weekend. He brought Yamara/Marianne along to dinner (In 'N Out), and kept mentioning Zoe in conversation (to her, I was staring off into space in somewhat embarrassment). Didn't know what, if anything, to say about that...especially since he was acting the same way as always to me (cuddly). He also mentioned the party next weekend to Yamara, but not to me. Hmmmm.
On IRC that night (he logged onto it), some guy made a joke about kissing everyone on the channel, and Remington said that I'd get jealous. And Yamara said that I should be jealous of the SC girl. Remington almost typed a response to that, starting with my name, then deleted it.
Zoe apparently really wants me to get another boyfriend. When I heard this, I felt all
annoyed. What, is she gonna make me get one just to make her feel better? In order to date
Remington I have to date someone else as well? What the fuck? Like it would be that
easy...even besides my not wanting another boyfriend (even if there was someone else I liked,
which there isn't, I think things are already complicated enough without adding another person
in the mix. Me + Remington + Zoe + her other boyfriend + his other girlfriend is bad enough! A
romantic pentagon for god's sake!) and being covered in hickeys pretty frequently
from the current one, and my living in Davis where the only person I know of who would be accepting
of me having two boyfriends is the one I'm dating, it ain't easy. Despite what Remington's always
saying about my being beautiful, guys are not banging down my door (assuming that I'd be home,
which I haven't been much of lately). I personally think they're just trying to alleviate their
guilt that I'm (relatively) faithful and they're not, by corrupting me into their complicated
ways. I never said that I want to be a polyamorist myself (even though Remington doesn't use
the label, he claims he evaluates relationships on a case-by-case basis), and their trying to
make me into one (if that's what it is...with her I think it is anyway) is not gonna happen, I'm
pretty sure. I asked Remington if he wanted me to get another boyfriend, and he said that I should
feel free to pursue someone if I want to. Well, fine. I said that there's a difference between
being free to choose the option of another boyfriend and having to get another boyfriend
just to make her happy, and that wasn't going to happen.
I thought I was having a difficult time of things, but she sounds like she's having a big ol' jealous streak right now. All the hickeys I made on him upset her, she thought it was some sort of marking-territory message to her (for the record, no, even I am not that tacky. Just too cliche). He said no, then said "well, she doesn't know you." She does want to meet me though... once he reminded her that I've seen her hickeys, she shut up about it.
He seemed to know that I want to go to Christine's movie night thing next weekend. Okay, so I mentioned it on IRC, but I'm wondering if Zoe checked her mail and he read it, 'cause I said to her that I wanted to go to it, but I don't think I said so on IRC.
In general I was depressed over the conversation that I'd had with Anna about this business...I started whining to him about how I don't have comebacks for what people say about it, how everyone thinks I'm REALLY nuts now, etc. I especially have problems with coming up with comebacks when I partially agree with the person and have doubts myself... but I didn't tell him that. (I do have my reasons for going along with this, there's a few bonuses that I won't get into here, but it does bother me a little.) He said that people can be wrong...I said that nobody understands this...he said "Well, a lot of people can be wrong...they elected Nixon, didn't they?" Can't argue that one. He also recited a line I read on the Internet that's a comeback for the polyamorous to use when in debate..."why can't I be faithful to two people?" "Yeah, or three, or six..." I thought. That would imply that other than Zoe and I, he wouldn't pick up other chickies...and I do not think that is the case here.
Oh, and his other line of the night..."You can possess me...just so long as you share."
I am worried about the attachment thing. Remember how he said he was afraid of getting too attached too? Apparently he doesn't seem to worry about this anymore (not like I do anyway, still). Then again, after saying the three little words, I think that's probably just gone out the window. Even I have to agree with that. But still, I worry about getting psychotic, and that ain't good.
I love him, but it's not how it used to be when I was in love before. Not obsessive. Although it did take me awhile to get like that in the past, so I don't think I'm out of the woods yet. I wonder, is that because I'm finally getting what I want this time (a genuine boyfriend)? That because I'm satisfied, I don't need to obsess over tiny details, grasping for a person that I can't have/can't have fully? Maybe I'm improving?
That morning as I was getting dressed to run to the bus stop (he was lying around in bed), he
said "I love you." And even though I was late, I rushed back over to him and proceeded to get all
mushy.
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