Reviews For August 17- August 22
- *****
"Liz" by Diana Keeton
There are some very talented writers on this site! What a neat place to read
true passions for creativity and wit. Normally, I just read through them
weekly, however, this time I was compelled to submit my review.
"Liz" was remarkably imaginitative. I could envision the entire story from
start to finish. It reminds me of how the simplest things are taken for
granted. This is definitely a 5.
Sandy Mangani
- *****
"The Cutest Little Girl In The World" by Stu Engle
this is so sad and so outrageous, there is nothing to give it but a five. Your article brought tears to my eyes. The suffering of children is one of the few things that can ever make me question God and his motives.
Alice in Wordland
- *****
"58,000 Names"by John A. Wilson
My generation has forgotten because we never knew...We need to remember...we need not to forget these men and women that went...and those that never came home...and especially those who did.
Beth
- *****
Untitled By Kati
Wow. What I always dreamed of but couldn't achieve.
C.R. Sweeney
- *****
It Isn't Just A Rumour By Alice Bateman
Right to the point, a review of what our society has become. Very good!
Jack Mann
- *****
"Cricket's Revenge" By R.L. Walker
Cute. I could see this as a children's book, with some water-color type illustrations. The rhythm of the rhyme would be appealing to youngsters.
PJ
- ***
Yes, I'm In A Clique by Nathan Black
While I may believe Nathan treats the topic a bit too lightly, he certainly
expresses his thoughts clearly and presents a point of view quite different
from many I heard.
PJ
- *****
Ten Pens, By Geraldine Cook Davis
Wonderfully bizarre. Should be published Junior High on up.
Gary
- ****
The E.T. Connection By Geraldine Cook Davis
Gerri has an interesting knack for taking something we take for granted and
pass off lightly and giving it a very different but believable twist. Four
good stars!
Gary
- ***
"Cappucino, A Twist Of Fate" By Kelly Mitchell
I liked your main character and your story. The problems I have are: the first paragraph is redundant and not necessary. You were "announcing" what was to come. This story certainly deserves a rewrite; I know, --aaaaahhhhhhh--you rewrote ten times. But, you need to cut to the bone. This piece is much too long. There's also a problem with the word Brain; it's over used. Again, I like the premise of the story. Keep the character; I like him too. Cut. And good luck. It has potential for a five.
Gerri
- *****
Cricket's Revenge By R.L. Walker
A Cricket's Revenge is very light hearted and fun. I found it to be a very humerous look into the author's heart.
Lee-Anna Gould
- ***
"The Gift Of Life"Katie Charak
You did a good job on this poem. I gave it a three because I wonder
about its marketability. It just didn't grab me the way a professional
piece does. I would work on refining your style and adding more
emotion. I enjoyed reading this.
Nathan Black
- *****
A Simple Man By Loyal Wray
Every time I read this story, I discover more emotion. Today I just wanted to reach out to Billy, to stop him, to alter his path. His character is so very real to me. Loyal has a way with character development that gives depth in few words.
PJ
- *****
RemembranceBy Geraldine Cook Davis
Clarity in portraying her feelings Feelings the rest of us often don't often admit to.
Pat Demeo
- *****
Summer Treats By Pat Demeo
This poem is too short. Great fun -needs to be longer. It made me laugh.
Pat Demeo
- ***
Holding Hands By Loyal Wray
I have read this story many times; today it brought tears to my eyes. Whether they were for my own longing to hold a particular someone's hand, a longing previously put aside, or my empathy with the author's last few story lines, I am unsure. I just know that Loyal can write in a way that touches me.
PJ
- *****
"A Father's Reward"
By Josh Groft
A very powerful story. It captured my curiosity from the beginning, my attention never wavered, and it shook my very being. The curious thing is, I would be unable to relate to one like Jacob in real life, yet I feel so much when reading this story. Excellent
PJ
- ****
The E.T. Connection
By Geraldine Cook Davis
An easy 5 if re-written a bit to correct punctuation and grammar. Heartbreaker with an O'Henry-like ending. Excellent progression!
R.L. Walker
- *****
A Little Girl
By Nekolny
I have no credentials as a reviewer. I'll leave it to others to comment on commas and stage setting. Her story made me cry. I cried because what could have been, never had a chance to be....... and because the person it happened to is my friend......and because this story touched a chord in me. This lady has a talent for sharing her feelings with others.
Loyal Wray
- ****
Liz
By Diana Keeton
An absolutely captivating story. I was intrigued by this complex
character you created until the very end of the piece. I would
suggest, in all seriousness, that you try to publish this commercially.
You might want to tone the language down just a little bit...not so
much that you lose that part of Liz, but enough so that an editor
doesn't find it too provocative.
Nathan Black
- ***
The E.T. Connection
By Geraldine Cook Davis
A very touching and original piece. I would suggest working on the
clarity of your message. I had to read "The E.T. Connection" about
three times before I got it. Not necessarily a bad thing, but the
story will be more accessible--more "mainstream"--if you're a little
more upfront.
Nathan Black
- *****
"The Gift Of Life"
By Kathryn Charak
I have to give Kathryn a five, because she has been able to put into poetic form a moment in time that every woman who has ever had a baby experiences, a universal yet intensely personal time.
Alice In Wordland
- *****
"The Traveling Wall"
By John A. Wilson
Incredibly moving. This story brought me up close and personal with a war that Canada was never involved in, more so than any news coverage before or since ever could.
Alice In Wordland
- *****
"Holding Hands"
By Loyal Wray
I have to give you five points, Loyal, because I agree totally with what you had to say. And the ending brought that mist to my eyes, because you're right, I miss that very much, too.
Alice In Wordland
- *****
"Cricket's Revenge"
By R.L. Walker
Wonderful! Whimsical! A poem for Little People of all ages.
T.E. Pereira
- *****
"Words For All Seasons"
By
A definite five - beautifully visual and lyrical, capturing each season's essence in a minimum of words!
Alice In Wordland
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