Surrealistic Thoughts

• Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
• Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
• If a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose?
• Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
• If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
• I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
• After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
• I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
• Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
• Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
• What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
• When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
• How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
• Why do they wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
• What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

to Lists.

to The Procrastinator's Aid.

---

This page hosted by Get your own Free Home Page