We barely made it. As soon as we entered the studios, we were jumped.
Hanson got pulled away, and us Zodiacs were stuck with a puttering make up artist. I'll spare you the details. At first, he wanted to make me all Gothic, but I refused. Finally, I did, and I quote, "my own damn makeup".
One we were done with being poked and prodded, we were escorted back onto the set. There was a painful looking Ike, Tay and Zac.
I snickered.
"Shut up." Taylor said, his hair falling over his ears, making him look ultra girly.
"Sorry." I said, grinning widely, showing him I didn't mean it. "Why don't you just muck with your own hair?"
"Can't." he said, motioning to the hair stylist who was watching him like a hawk.
I turned and grinned at the stylist. I turned bak and grabbed his locks and shoved them behind his ears. "There. Not hard, huh?"
The stylist came over. "What are you doing?" she asked angrily. I had ruined a hour's worth of style that could have been done with a damp brush.
"Making him look like a guy, girl." I told her, and she withered.
Zac was jumping around. "Hyperness."
"Yeah." I mumbled. "Who's interviewing, by the way?"
"Dave Reed." Isaac told me.
"Who the hell is that?" I asked.
"A guy." Zac said, making it all clear.
"That cleared it up, Zac." I told him, and he nodded.
"You're welcome." he told me.
"What station?" I asked Taylor. He fiddled with his wrist watch.
"VH1."
"Er?" Jamie asked, coming up behind me.
"VH1." Zac repeated, and I rolled my eyes. I gave up.
"We're recording in 5." a set hand told us, and we all trouped up to the small platform. The seats were all arranged in a semi circle. There were 3 chairs radiating from a center chair. Hanson on one side, Zodiac on the other. Interviewer (Dave) in the middle.
I helped myself to the middle of one set of chairs.
"Order of age, please!" someone called, looking at me. I guessed he was the stage director. "Youngest to oldest, Hanson on that side, you on the other." he stood staring at me, like I was on the wrong planet.
"Let's see." I mused, loud enough for the guy to hear. "I'm a part of Zodiac." I looked around. "Wow! Here's Zodiac's chairs! Now. Let's see..." I put my hand on my face like I was thinking. "I'm the middle-aged member... So I sit here!" I concluded, glaring back at the stage director. He turned red, and backed off.
Jess sat to my right, and Jamie to my left.
Jamie snickered. "You sure get up everyone's butt, Kristen."
"I know. It's a talent." I replied, and sat forward so another hand could pin a microphone battery pack onto my pants. They pulled my shirt up to string it to my collar, and I yelped.
"Hey, man! I can do that, thank you very much!" I said, pulling the tiny microphone from his grip. He sighed, and moved on to Jamie.
"Damn Aussies." he muttered.
"Bloody Yanks." I muttered, pinning my microphone to my collar. Tay sat across from me, and he strung his microphone to his collar.
We were all set.
"Could everyone talk to test your microphones?" someone offstage asked.
"Yeah." Jess complied.
"Greetings Earthlings." I mumbled, and it picked up clearly.
"Yuppers." Jamie said, shifting.
"Yeah. Testing, man!" Zac yelled.
"Blah blah blah." Taylor blahed.
"RrrrRRRrrr." Isaac churned out.
"They work, Stan." the unseen person called.
"Where's Dave?" someone else called.
"Here!" a young man bounced onto the stage, and shook all our hands.
"Hi Dave." I said in a delinquent tone.
"Hey." he smiled.
Gag, I thought, sick of all the niceness. He's probably never heard us.
"Filming starts in 5." he informed us, and put his microphone on.
I tried to restrain from saying that someone had told us 'in 5' 5 minutes ago. I looked around the set, ignoring the chatter of Dave.
Remembering something, I got up and leaned over to Taylor. I whispered in his ear "You need to shut up when someone else is talking. You have the habit of butting in."
I backed off, and he glared at me. 'You're the same' he mouthed.
"But I'm cute!" I said aloud. Everyone stared at me. "What? All I said was that I'm cute!"
"Filming in 1!" the call came.
"Ready, guys?" Dave asked.
No, I thought sarcastically. "I've got to go to the toilet." I said as innocent as possible, cherishing the looks on everyone's faces.
"Hold it!" someone called.
I was tempted to be fully childish, but I'd look gay holding myself. "Fine!" I shot at the unseen person.
"10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3...." someone counted, and I could see Dave picking up on the count. The camera's lights turned red.
"Hey everyone! And we're here with Hanson and hot new Australian band, Zodiac." he greeted in a phony voice. I nearly gagged. "Say 'hey' guys!"
All: hey.
Dave: So, what's it like being world famous? (looks around at all)
We're not world famous, stupid, I thought, nearly rolling my eyes.
Taylor: It is amazing. We never dreamed of being so popular.
Blah, blah, blah I thought, knowing this interview would be the same as others.
Zac: It's cool!
Dave:(laughs)
Isaac: It's... like Tay says, amazing. We couldn't have done it without the fans.
Kris: (cough)
Dave: And this here is Zodiac, eh?
Kris: (nods)
Dave: Tell us a litte about you guys. Jamie?
Jamie: Um. I'm 14, and I play guitar.
Kris: (mumbles)
Dave: What, Kristen?
Kris: Sorry. I'm 15, and I play keyboards. (smiles) I also help write the songs.
Dave: Just like Taylor!
Kris :(nods) Yep.
God help me! Not this shit again.
Dave: Jess?
Jessica: I play drums, and I write the songs with Kris.
Dave: Cool. So how long have you guys been together and how did you meet?
Kris: (laughs loudly)
Jessica: (grins) Try about all our lives.
Dave: I knew that!
Bullshit.
Dave: So you're playing first on Hanson's Albertane Tour.
All Zodiac: Yeah.
Dave: They've already got Admiral Twin. Why did you join?
Jamie: We needed to keep singing, but not full blown touring, you know? It's like a holiday for us.
Dave: So how did you guys meet? (motions between the two groups)
Isaac: We had stopped off in Australia for a holiday, and we met up with Zodiac.
Kris: Yeah.
Zac: That was cool.
Taylor: It was about a year ago.
Dave: Cool. So are you guys good friends?
All: (nods)
Dave: So anything going on? (looks between groups)
-silence-
Dave: What about you Jessica? Got a boyfriend?
Jessica: Yes.
Dave: Kris?
Kris: No.
Dave: Why not.
Kris: I scare them off. (all laugh)
Dave: (looks at Taylor) Is that true?
Taylor: (uncomfortably) Yeah. She's scary. (laughs)
Dave: Jamie?
Jamie: (shakes her head) No. Not exactly.
Dave: (turns to Hanson) So, what about you guys?
All: Nope.
Dave: C'mon! Surely there must be a girl out there.
Don't look at me... Don't look at me, I silently pleaded with him, but his blue eyes slid over to me.
-silence-
Zac: Taylor's got someone in mind.
Taylor: (elbows Zac, laughs nervously)
Zac: She's got brown hair...
I sank into my chair.
Zac: ... and her name's Yvonne.
All: (laughs)
Dave: And we'll go to a break. Stay tuned to find out who this Yvonne is.
A few seconds passed, and the red lights turned off.
Dave sat back, and asked: "Who is Yvonne?"
Zac glanced at me. "No one. Just someone we made up."