DutchyToys(tm)
A Plethora of Playthings for the Discriminating Ivan Dudynsky fan!
(Brought to you by Spot, the Allison-Third of the Triumvirate)
- BARBIE AND DUTCHY -- Who needs Ken? Ken's a wuss...but Dutchy is definitely
not. Dutchy comes with a pape, an official Newsie hat, and a boxing ring of
his very own, just so he can soak that wussy Ken-boy.
- HUNGRY HUNGRY DUTCHIES -- Feed the little plastic facsimile Dutchies little
plastic facsimile knockwursts and little plastic facsimile sasparillas. The
person who feeds their Dutchy the most wins.
- BATTLEDUTCHY -- You are the commander of a fleet of Dutchies. Be the first to
completely overtake your opponent, who commands a fleet of Delancy brothers.
With a full pegboard of 100 holes and a fleet of six different Dutchies
(taken from Newsie poses) there are endless ways that you can position your
Dutchies! And if the Delancies might happen to win, you can always just soak
your opponent.
- TICKLE ME DUTCHY -- It's better than that little annoying red stuffed Tickle
Me Whatever. It's Tickle Me Dutchy! Squeeze his tummy to hear him laugh. If
you squeeze right, he'll even ask you in his extremely sexy voice to do it
again. (Just for fun, find a large department store display of Tickle Me
Dutchies, squeeze their tummies at five second intervals, and then quickly
leave the display area. The salespeople will love you!) Coming soon to a toy store near you: Tackle Me Dutchy!
- DUTCHY-IN-A-BOX -- Turn his crank and he goes pop...hey, waitaminnit, somehow
this escaped from the sexual innuendo list...sorry about that, folks. This
part of the page is at least *slightly* family-oriented.
- DUTCHY THE GATHERING -- Grab your deck and a friend and journey into a
mythical world of Dutchydom. Keep a lookout for the ultra-rarest card of them
all: The High Golden Naked Ivan Wizard.
- DUTCHYLAND -- Travel through a magical candyland on the road to the
DutchyKingdom, a treat in itself. Collect all the candy supplies you need -
chocolate sauce, whipped cream, gumdrops, Hershey kisses, skittles, and
peanut butter M&Ms - to make a truly delectable Ivan sundae when you get to
him.
- DUTCHY PATCH KIDS -- They're cute, they're cuddly, and they look like Ivan.
What more could you ask for? Come with a birth certificate so you can name
your Dutchy Patch Kid, a Newsie-style outfit, a Roundhouse-style outfit, and
as a special added bonus, you can style his beautiful blond hair. Oh, yeah,
and then there's that Ivan Dudynsky autograph-tattoo on his butt.....
- DUTCHYHOOPS -- Put him around your waist and twist the night away.....wait,
was I saying something about being family-oriented? =)
COMING SOON!! Another list of DutchyToys...the Superhero version!!!
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