Come into this with the realization tht we are all busy. Its a fact, not an excuse.

But I'm still frustrated.

You may have noticed that in the entire month of January, DutchyWeb had exactly three updates: DutchyWords I, DutchyWords II and Borking vers. 2. This in a month with no classes for me, or Jess, and 1/2 a month for no classes for Ali.

Odd, then, that the only person involved in all three updates was, in fact, Ali. Odder still, the one person who had unlimited access to working computers was Jess, the one person not at all involved with the updates.

And why was that? What is the cause of all that is wrong in the once happy land of DutchyWeb? What has drawn the Graphics Goddess from the comfortable Triumvirate fold?

Jess is lusting after a gay newscaster.

Yes! This occasional guest anchor to a nocturnal newsprogram whom Jess has labeled "A God Among Men" has replaced Ivan Dudynsky as the object of her affection.

What has this "Silver-Haired Deity" have that our "Blond-Haired Angel God" hasn't? The only thing I can find is visiblity. For any insomniac caring to stay up all hours of the night this reporter can often be spotted.

Sad, but true, the one thing that made DutchyWeb so creative; lack of normal material, has condemned it to be forgotten. Jess has tossed Ivan aside for a gay newscaster.

Let me clarify the absurdity. We have heard from Ivan. Moreover, we've heard from Ivan's Roundhouse colleague, Mark David, who has seen DutchyWeb and reacted very positively. This seesm pretty visibile, in its way, to me. As the very least, its certainly accessible.

What's this reporter done for Jess? Well, she's had email conversations with him, yes. And she's sent him a Christmas gift and received a handwritten Thank You note, sure. And her website has been featured on national television--twice.

How can I argue? How can I rebut all that this gay newscaster has done for Jess? Dare I even try? Yes. Listen up! We tried to send Ivan a birthday gift and I'm sure, had it gotten to him, he would have thanked us. And, like the gay newscaster, we, too, have had email conversations with Ivan. (Jess is just bitter that we didn't get a reply to our Christmas greeting, but I hold that it never got to him.) And my creme de la creme, if and when Ivan and Mark get their t.v. show Ground Zero who knows what they might do? And, if they do do something... it would be at a better time slot.

To recapitulate (for a definition of that word, please see DutchyWords) Jess has turned towards the Dark Side and this gay newscaster is Darth Vader. If you want to see creative updates to DutchyWeb EMAIL JESS!! and tell her how wrong she is, and that she needs to return to the Light Side. Tell her how much DutchyWeb, its fans, and the fans of Ivan need her. Please, you out there, are our only hope.

-j.l.steigerwalt--feb 3 98 Return to the Ranting!