"I don't understand! Why does he need to do this?"


Michaela was angry. When Sully first arrived at the clinic with Cloud Dancing, she'd been overjoyed to see the medicine man. She'd greeted him with a warm hug and called Katie over to her side.


"Do you remember Cloud Dancing?" she asked the child. "He's your father's closest friend."


The little girl wound her arms around Michaela's leg and looked up at the Cheyenne with round, curious eyes.


"Ah ho, Katie," Cloud Dancing greeted her, smiling. "You have grown much bigger."


Then Sully announced that he was taking Katie over to Loren's store.


"He's got new candy in," Sully told the child. "Whattdaya say you and me go and check it out."


Katie left with him eagerly. Before Sully closed the door of the clinic, he'd exchanged a long, cautious glance with Cloud Dancing. It made Michaela uneasy.


"I have come here to help him," Cloud Dancing told her now. "Sully has lost his way. I am here to help him find it again."


Michaela folded her arms together under her chest and frowned. "Why, Cloud Dancing? I know Sully was missing you but you're here now. Why isn't that enough? He's got his family and a wife who loves him and a good life. What more could he possibly want?"


Her tone sounded sharp and unforgiving. At that moment, she didn't care.


"He does not know what he wants. All he knows is that something is wrong inside of him."


Compared to her voice, Cloud Dancing spoke as softly as a night breeze.


"Is he sick?" Michaela's anger instantly changed to concern. "Is there something he's not telling me? Maybe I could …"


The Indian held up one hand. "He is not sick. Not in his body. His spirit is not well. It is the spirit that needs medicine."


"So, you're saying that he has to go to the mountains, leave his family and his responsibilities, for Heaven only knows how long?! It sounds like all he's doing is running away, Cloud Dancing. It sounds like you're letting him run away!"


"I am not. I am helping him find his way back." He grew quiet and watched her with his soft brown eyes. Michaela glared at him and turned away.


She was prepared to send Sully to his friend after Thanksgiving, fully convinced that it was all he needed to do, that he would return and be content with his life again. Now her plans had been disrupted and her conviction had been proven wrong. Cloud Dancing was here and Sully was still unsettled. He wanted to leave his family, to leave her, and go off on some vision quest. In some part of her mind, Michaela realized her anger sprang from fear. She didn't understand. She didn't know what was wrong. If it had been something physical, she might have been able to fix it but this was something emotional, something spiritual. She had no medicine that could cure this problem. Only Cloud Dancing did. It made her feel incompetent and helpless. More than that, it made her feel like a failure - not as a doctor, but as a wife.


"I can't accept this," she whispered.


"I do not think you have a choice," their friend stated matter-of-factly. "It must happen. It is the only way."


When she refused to answer, he added, "I will stay in your barn tonight and we will leave at first light. Sully wants to go soon, before Thanksgiving."


"Matthew, Colleen and Andrew are coming home for Thanksgiving," Michaela stated. "Can you promise me that you'll be back by then? How long this will take?"


"I do not know," Cloud Dancing admitted. "That is up to Sully. He will decide when it is time to return."


Michaela stopped herself from adding, "If he returns at all."


"What is that Injun doin' in town? I thought the army run him out of here."


Jake Slicker stood at the door to the saloon, his small blue eyes glaring across the street at the clinic. Michaela and Cloud Dancing had emerged to stand together on the porch.


Hank moved up behind Jake and sneered. "Looks like they didn't do a good enuf' job. Maybe they need to come back and finish what they started."


"Yeah, well I know someone who will be glad to see 'im. Dorothy. She's bin mopin' around ever since he left town." Jake shook his head. "Don't know what she sees in that savage."


"Sounds like you're jealous, Jake," Hank drawled, smirking.


"Don't be stupid. I'm a happily married man now. Theresa's all the woman I want." Jake's expression softened at the mention of his wife. "It's Loren who won't like it. He always had a soft spot for Dorothy, ya' know."


"If ya' ask me, Loren's always had a soft spot in his head! He ain't never had no luck with women."


Hank shrugged. "Don't know how to treat 'em right. Ya gotta keep 'em in line, otherwise they try to get the best of ya'."


He clenched a cigar between his teeth, raising one hand to push his long blonde hair back behind both ears.


"That's what I do with my girls."


Michaela and Cloud Dancing stepped off the porch and headed in the direction of the store. At the same moment, Dorothy slipped out the door of the newspaper office. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, pushing the wispy red curls away from her face, and gazed down the street. When she spotted Cloud Dancing she froze, her arm resting on the top of her head.


"Lookee there." Hank pointed toward Dorothy. "This otta be interestin'."


Both men grinned as they waited for the scene to unfold.


Michaela and Cloud Dancing had reached Loren's store before Dorothy caught up with them. She grabbed the medicine man by one arm and he turned toward her.


"Cloud Dancin'! I can't believe it's really you!" Her pale skin was flushed.


"Ah ho." Her hand still lay on his arm and he covered it with his fingers. "I was coming to see you, after I talked to Sully."


"When did you get here?" Dorothy asked. "How long are you plannin' to stay? Is everything alright?"


Michaela's gaze slid from Cloud Dancing to Dorothy and she smiled slightly. "Why don't you come out to our place for supper tonight and you can ask all your questions then? I'm just getting ready to close up the clinic for the day."


Sully, Katie and Loren had emerged from the store at the sound of their voices and they were standing out front. Dorothy glanced up when she felt Loren's eyes upon her. The storekeeper's wrinkled face was twisted in disgust. She met his eyes boldly as she answered Michaela.


"I'd like that. Just let me close up the newspaper office. Brian went over to help Grace with her baby while she's busy dishin' up supper at the café. She needed someone to take the little boy off her hands for a few minutes. I'll get 'im and then go to Robert E's and saddle up my horse."


"Dorothy!" Loren shook his head at her.


"Yes Loren? Do you want to tell me somethin'?" There was no mistaking the challenge in her tone.


Loren turned back toward his store. "Awww….nothin' that you wanna hear," he muttered before he disappeared inside.


"I'll get Brian," Cloud Dancing offered. "and your horse."


He shot a quick side-ways glance toward Sully. Dorothy frowned over the look the two men exchanged. "Thank you, Cloud Dancin'."


Michaela said nothing until Dorothy and Cloud Dancing were safely out of earshot. Then she spun toward Sully, her eyes snapping.


"It seems that you've planned a trip? Without consulting me?!"


Sully hesitated and glanced down at Katie. "Why don't you go back inside the store?" he suggested, addressing the child.


"Why? I got all my candy." Katie held up a brown bag, a delighted smile on her face.


"I know, but I didn't pay enuf' for it." Sully opened the pouch hanging from his belt and pulled out a penny. "Give this to Mr. Bray. Tell him I owe him."


Katie took the penny without question and skipped back inside the store, her brown curls bouncing. Sully faced Michaela squarely.


"I know you're upset but this ain't the place to discuss it. Wait til we get home."


He nodded toward Hank's saloon. Jake and Hank were still standing outside, staring over at them. Michaela followed his gaze and pressed her lips together tightly.


"If you think I'll calm down by then, you're sadly mistaken!" she threatened.


At that opportune moment, Katie reappeared at Sully's side.


"Mr. Bray said that you paid enuf' already, Poppy," Katie reported, "so he gave me another gumdrop. See?" She held up the candy and glanced from her father to her mother. "What's wrong, Mama? You look mad."


"Angry, Katie," Michaela corrected automatically. She arranged a smile on her lips. "It's nothing. Nothing at all."


Contrary to Michaela's assertion, she did calm down. By the time supper was prepared and served, her anger had dissipated somewhat. When they sat down to eat, Sully was relieved to see his wife smiling from time to time and joining in on the conversation as it circulated around the table. He glanced over at her several times throughout the meal. When she finally met his eyes, there was a look of resignation on her face.


As soon as the table was cleared, Sully took her hand and whispered into her ear. "We need to talk."


She simply nodded and walked ahead of him toward the front door.


"We're just going outside for some fresh air," she told the others, a lightness forced into her tone. "We'll be right back."


Sully caught Cloud Dancing's skeptical look and shook his head slightly, then followed his wife through the door and onto the porch. They stood at the railing, looking at the outline of the barn against the night sky. It was a crisp fall evening and stars filled the heavens, providing a backdrop for a luminous orange moon. On any other night, Sully would have felt romantic.


He could picture Michaela in his mind; passion stirring in her incredible hazel eyes, long coppery hair flowing past her shoulders, love animating her perfect, fine-boned features. He glanced toward her. Tonight Michaela stood beside him, her back rigid, staring straight ahead. Sully sighed.


"I know you're upset. I wish there was somethin' I could say."


Her voice was subdued as she answered. "I don't understand what's wrong."


"Me neither."


He swallowed back emotion. He stared toward the barn, afraid to glance at her again. He couldn't stand to see her wounded expression. He knew it would be there, creasing her lovely face into lines.


"It's not you - or the kids. It's me. It's somethin' inside of me. Somethin' I can't control."


"I know." Her voice was thick. "I've known for quite a while. I had hoped that you were just missing Cloud Dancing, that you'd be all right if you could just see him again. I hoped it was that simple. When I found out today that it's more than that, I had trouble accepting it. It's hard for me to see you so unhappy, especially when I'm happy with you. It makes me feel…."


She couldn't continue. Her voice broke.


He turned toward her, grabbed her hands.


"Michaela, I am happy with you. I always have been. You're everything I've ever wanted - the only woman I could ever want. You have to believe that."


"So, why? Why are you doing this? Why are you searching for something else?"


"I'm searching for me," he said passionately. "Don't you see that? I've lost me. I don't know who I am anymore."


"And being my husband and the father of our children isn't enough for you?"


When he failed to answer, she pulled her hands back from his grasp. "You just answered my question. I guess it isn't."


"Michaela…."


"Do what you have to do, Sully," she interrupted briskly. "Go off on this trip with Cloud Dancing and find whatever it is you're looking for. Go on. But just remember one thing. While you're off looking after yourself, I'm here looking after our house and our children. I'm being responsible, Sully. When all is said and done, that's what really counts."


She pushed past him and re-entered the house. He stood staring after her as the door slowly creaked shut. There was nothing left to say.


Cloud Dancing escorted Dorothy outside to her waiting horse. Michaela and Sully had entered the house long ago, both subdued and quiet, both immersed in their own introspective thoughts. Katie had been put to bed and Brian attempted to keep the conversation going but, eventually, he gave up and fell into silence as well. Dorothy seemed reluctant to leave, even though it was obvious that no one was in the mood for entertaining. As he walked beside her, Cloud Dancing breathed in the scent of her. The aroma of her perfume, reminding him of a wild rose bush in full bloom, mingled with the smell of soap. At one time, the aroma would have been unfamiliar to him. Cheyenne women didn't rely on perfumes or strongly scented soaps but this smell had become as special to him as Dorothy herself. It identified her. It stirred his passion.


She stopped beside her horse and turned to face him. "When will you be back?"


He shook his head. "I do not know. We will return when the purpose of our trip is completed."


"And what is the purpose of this trip? No one's sayin' very much." She glanced toward the house. "Judgin' by the look on Michaela's face…" she raised her eyebrows, "and the guilt on Sully's, I'd say somethin' serious is goin' on."


"I am not free to tell you," Cloud Dancing said. "It is not my story to tell."


"So, it's got somethin' to do with Sully then?"


When she saw that Cloud Dancing had no intention of betraying his friend's trust, she shrugged.


"Well, whatever it is, they'll work things out. They always do. They love each other."


Cloud Dancing looked at her with dark, serious eyes. "Love is powerful. It can turn a man toward the sun or steal all light away from him. It can create or destroy."


"Sometimes I think it's easier not to love at all," Dorothy said softly. "Sometimes there's too much pain. People get separated and hearts …." She faltered and dropped her gaze toward the ground.


Cloud Dancing slid his fingers beneath her chin and raised her head. He searched the depths of her eyes. "Is that how it is for you? Is there too much pain?"


"Oh…Cloud Dancin"!" She blinked away tears. "It's just that, when you and Sully come back, you'll be leavin' again. I know it. It seems like all we ever do is say good-bye."


He bent his head toward her, brushed her lips with his mouth.


"It will not always be this way," he promised. "Someday …."


She pulled back. "No. No promises. You know, as well as I do, that you can't keep 'em. Things bein' what they are." She put her foot in the stirrup and hoisted herself onto her horse.


Looking down at him, she added. "More than anythin' else, I wish things were different. I just don't see how."


"I will ask the Spirits for help," he told her, reaching up to grab her hand. "I will seach for answers."


"Take care of yourself," she whispered. "Be safe."


Before he could respond, she slipped her hand from his grasp, tugged on the reins and turned her horse into the night.


It was late when Sully entered the bedroom, long after Michaela had crawled under the covers and extinguished the lamp. She intended to feign sleep and she turned her back toward him, pretending to be oblivious to his presence. She'd tried to overcome it, to reason it away, but the feeling was still there. She was hurt. Maybe he needed to find his way, to go off with Cloud Dancing in order to heal his spirit, but Michaela felt as if Sully was rejecting her. The best thing to do, until her emotions stopped churning inside of her, would be to ignore him completely.


With the resolve firmly entrenched in her mind, she was unprepared for her own response. Sully reached out toward her as he settled onto his side of the bed, stroked her arm with his fingers. His touch felt like cool water trickling down her skin on a sweltering day. Her breathing instantly grew shallow and rapid.


He heard her reaction. His hand hesitated, fingers growing still for a brief moment, then he moved over to press his body up against her. He kissed the back of her neck, his lips as gentle as the touch of a feather. She shivered. His mouth moved to her ear, his tongue touching the earlobe. Small, uncertain advances. She groaned involuntarily and turned over, placed her hands on either side of his head and pulled his mouth to her lips. God, how she wanted him! Needed him! His hands ran down the length of her body, touched her until she throbbed with desire, teased her and caressed her until she cried out in longing. She whispered his name as he moved over top of her, stared into the depths of his intense blue eyes.


They lay together afterward, bodies drenched in sweat, legs entangled. Pain twisted inside of her as she clung to him, as she tried to hide the tears dampening her cheeks. He knew. He held her, tried to soothe her with soft murmurs.


"It's okay, Michaela. I promise you. It'll be okay."


Tonight she let herself believe him - let herself believe that if she held onto him tightly enough, she could keep him with her. She could stop him from leaving.