Wheel of Wrestling

WWF "SmackDown" invades MTV!

Mission Notes

• Demographic Stunt of the Week: Sensing their ratings going south like a duck in winter, MTV/BMP attempted to bait UPN & TNT WWF fans by having a wrestling match at the Paladium in Nashville, TN; and in the process, they gave about a dozen or so extras time off from their usual sideshow stint at the local circus (Star Trek has shown less diverse species than this lot) to soak up their 15 minutes; and since I'm raving about B-M's generosity.....

• Welfare Recipient of the Week: Verne Troyer (A.K.A "Mini-Me") becomes B-M's latest satisfied customer this week. According to IMDb Troyer's only had two gigs since "Austin Powers: TSWSM", scoring a walk-on roll on "Shasta McNasty". And when that well ran dry, B-M felt it was their abolitionary duty to sign him on as a ref in their (then) up coming Challenge 2000 special; however, I wouldn't quit my day job if I were you Verne!

• Rip-off of the Week: Was I the only one who felt that wrestling mission was as crooked as a $10 dollar a month dental plan? The matches were lop-sided to say the least: Piggy's fortunate she didn't walk away with any broken ribs after Heather B. steam rolled her on the mat; Dan & Mike fondled acouple female models; Los pounds on a stickly Teck (who should've been able to slip out of Los' grip with little effort). C'mon! There should've been enough drawings in that place to open up a art gallery! In fact, the only even matches were between Kat & Holly and Dave & Yes; and still, they had to contend with that Pug (A.K.A "Mini-Me") darting in & out, barking arbitrary calls and stuff!

• Contrivance of the Week: Color me paranoid but that "Wrestling Wheel" was as rigged as the Nevada State Boxing Commission! Look closely during acouple spins and you'll notice when after the wheel comes to a stop it'll mysteriously nudge back to the right. Me thinks B-M had a forth midget behind the curtain manipulating the wheel. How else do you explain the convenient pairings in the ring: Dave & Yes have been itching to butt heads every since the first episode; the two most sexually oppressed guys, Dan & Mike--who's spilling on the sides (hit that gym baby!) get to hump acouple super models; the two spoiled princesses get their very own midget man to add to their lengthy conquest sheet; and to top it off, Piggy & Heather B. get a chance to settle the score over the infamous smoking sting a mere week ago! I smell a rat!

• Marketing Ploy of the Week: Hey, what's up Mini-Me? That P.A check wasn't enough for ya; now you have to plug in your very own personal shrine as well, via your referee shirt (Mini-V.com)? Veeeeeery slick--speaking of slick.....

• Slick Willie of the Week: Clueless' lame attempt to whine for a draw during her tango with the Holyfield midget on the basis of using an (alleged) illegal armpit to the face did bring into question her maturity, or lack thereof; as I recall a certain Mindy Griffin pulling the same stunt with some dude during a wrestling match, but of course we were in the second grade then.

• Foreshadowing of the Week: To further prove to everyone on how much of a spoiled little brat she is, Clueless whines (to no one in particular) about like-I-don't-need-a-sportsbra Amaya's prancing around the ring like a fairly ditz. Thus, throwing the first punch of the up-coming Amaya vs. Clueless Cat Fight. Place your bets NOW folks while the crowds are still thin!

• Fashion Crime of the Week: What's with Dan and his overgrown plaid boxers? I mean, it's not like he has anything "overgrown" to conceal! Furthermore, they appear to be the same pair worn during the All Stars Challenge DownUnder. Who would-da thunk they'd make a return appearance! So, does this mean that Dan is now the male equivalent of Ruthie and her infamous black thong sidekick? Da, da, dum...

• Old Homage of the Week: After playing the Distinguish Gentleman in the first couple of episodes, it appears (by means of the editors) Los has reverted back to his old off-and-on Scrooge persona of season one. Hence his El'Cheapo self begging the others at breakfast (or whenever) for some spare change despite already having a few hundred bucks stashed away. And in a "Bad Dejavu or the Week" he snaps at Clueless, then pulls a Kevin number by taking off without saying a word; thus leaving his teammates pondering over his whereabouts. But to come to Los' defense... 1.) Clueless was going to deliver both pizzas over to the RW bus, but WHY, when assuming that one was for each team? Therefore, Los was very much in his right mind for piping up--nevermind the fact he had pitched in his own cash. And 2.) Clueless is by far one of the last people on the planet who should be demanding respect, but I guess what goes around comes around. Oh, and will someone tell the Pigster to keep her nicotine craving snout out of other folks' business!

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