Image Is Everything

The gang dives for buried treasure and Josh gets a very brady doo. Oh, and raise your hand if you really wanted to see another bungee jump?

Analysis

It appears that Road Rules is ever so slowly trying to pull its self out of the rut it's been stick in over the past several weeks.

For one, there're making major headway through central America with a unprecedented three city (If you count the teaser scene in Lamanai) jump in one 30 minute episode. I may have to check my vedio library, but I believe that's a record. Gee, the producers have gotta stop reading my reviews! I was also both pissed off and dumfounded to see the gang munching on breakfast in "Cancun". Pissed off because there're back in Mexico, and dumfounded to see that they've made a mysterious trek to the Yucatan for no apparent reason. Hello! Did I miss an episode in here somewhere? Plus Brian's three line suicide chat seemed scripted and out of the blue since it was dropped faster than a hot egg, never to resurface ever again during the episode.

And second, the missions are finally starting to fall on the "Original and Exciting" scale. Those personalize subscooters were pretty cool although I question exactly how the Roadies were not only able to spot the clue (Road Rules Logo) in side the shell presumably turned upside-down on the sea floor. But also retrieve it while attempting to operate those bulky subs. Hmmm, perhaps a little assistance provided by the auto club A.K.A Road Rules production crew?

Plus the whole scene felt so fast paced and forced that before you could even get your bearing, they (Brian and Josh) were already hitting the town. Speaking of which....I figured they just couldn't let the whole freakin season slide by without squeezing in a damn bungee jump somewhere! And the fact that they did it just for the heck of it made it even more frustrating to watch.

As far as the swing Criollo dance contest goes....I have to admit judging from the preview, I went into this episode with a pack of Tylenol and a fresh supply of barf bags at my side. But I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't turn out as bad as I expected. I like the ideal of the cast having to compete against each other for the grand prize. In this case....$200. bucks.

And once again, Josh showed everyone just who da man really is! Way da go Josh! Strut your hippie butt all over that dance floor while sporting that Rick James doo that you scanned some poor old soul into slaving away four hours of her life brading your mane only to be compensated with three measly bucks! Then rip-off your dance partner by offering her (probably) only 40 out of the $200 bucks your pillsberry dough butt would've never acquired had it not been for her volunteering her time. Then you wonder why a pissed-off Brian retreats to go hanging with his girl (Sylvia) on the side? (Hey, you ain't foolin anyone with that--"I need time-out from these miserable people" crap casanova) Josh, you go boy!

But Josh still gets points for being the most well mannered of the group this go around: Abe was well sebdued and suppressed from the cameras this week....I guess B-M's main meal ticket is running out of conflicts to create, or get into! Sarah's whining was as intolerable as ever...and over little insignificant crap such as trying on a thousand dresses only to find fault with all of them because her boobs didn't fit. Also finding fault with some of the girls in the dance group because she feel they have gorgeous bodies eventhough many girls would kill for her body. I still can't figure-out why some girls with beautiful bodies still have to find fault with themselves.

I guess the only whining incident that carried some weight was when Sarah locked knees with a clumsy Brian attempting to practice some stylish moves (In hopes of impressing the judges, OR his dance partner into doing a one-nighter) ends up moving in too close for Sarah who in turns retreats to the bathroom to moan. I may be wrong, but I believe Sarah ranks right up there with Northern Trail's Anne as most fragile Road Rules cast member ever! And how did Sarah's knees get banged-up in the first place? Obviously something the producers don't even care to elaborate on, and instead prefer to leave us hanging.

This week Holly flashed some character development by jumping on the Sarah whining band wagon and slamming Brian for no apparent reason! But overall, this was a Brian oriented show--or should I say a Brian Bash 30 minute skit: Holly and Sarah grilled him for going out and having a good time (I suppose they would've prefered for Brian to sit-up in the hotel room all night and listen to them rant!), Abe grilled him for drinking too much (Ohhh, Look who's talking Mr. Yeltsin!) Heck, I was half expecting Josh to throw something at him keeping with the theme of the evening! Then they all get moody when Brian decides to "check out"....well, can you blame him?

I suppose the Roadies will be hitch-hiking from here on out since they gave that scripted, shallow, sappy, so call goodbye to the woodie at the airport. But you can't really dog'em, afterall they hardly ever bothered sleeping in the darn thing (Except if you count that Abe/Susie one-nighter!), so there wasn't really any emtional-intimate ties in the first place. But for once, can we just have one freakin season where both the Roadies and winnie/woodie ride it out together from start to finish....like say they did in season one?

So call it a 4. Again I feel I'm being awfully generous here given the numerous plot holes and assembly-line pace of a few of the scenes. But overall it proved entertaining for me.


NEXT WEEK: Menudo gets dognapped and it's up to ole Abe to save his bosom buddy.

Jump straight to "Kayaking and Kidnapping". Or go back to "Into The Heart Of Darkness".

• Paco
• Billy and Tracy
• Kelley
• Carla

Road Rules Reviews Copyright © 1999