Ho Chi Minh's Millions

In a mad rush to meet the seasonal quota, BMP offers another installment of Exploitation of Impoverish Children for Ratings; and in the process hits a 9.5 on the scum scale!

Analysis

Club Med at Sea, continuing its theme of odd numbered losers takes another fall... and I'm not talkin' light either folks! The season practially bails off a cliff in contrast to last week's installment!

Since there's plenty of bad to say about "Ho Chi Minh's Millions" let me point out one redeeming quality: I thought it was very noble of Pawel to put forth the extra effort to raise the money via selling his photos for the children's center. This is by far a better vehicle to show off his character than previously seen "Pawel's Kenyan Experience" where his character was mainly used as a plot device than anything else.

However, some former S.A.S Students have criticized Pawel for stealing their business during the photo sale... pointing out that not everyone has the privilege of being spoon-fed like him. Hey cut the guy some slack! For 1.) He deserves the trip anyway since he was previously accepted to S.A.S twice, but ended up bailing out due to low funds (hey, college isn't exactly pocket change, trust me!) 2.) If you're able to cough up $20,000 + for a spring break cruise (academics are a joke on S.A.S), then why are you up in arms over a guy doing something worth-while with cash others would most likely blow on booze, and dice anyway?

But unfortunately, that is the only positive highlight that I could dish out of the show.

Upon returning to their hostel, the troopers find a clue informing them to meet Helerrita at the Christina Noble Children Center at 7 a.m sharp. Upon arriving, the kids are given a tour of the facility and its occupants which include malnourished children- some with Cerebral Palsy, and Agent Orange- ranging from infants, to pre-schoolers. So why are they here? Helerrita tells the kids that their mission is to spend a total of 12 million dong (or $866 US dollars) while cruising the Ho Chi Minh City streets in under 12 hours or the kids will get nothing... ugh, okaaaay!?!

Seriously, if you think about what Helerrita said for more than one minute you're bound to scratch your head! In fact, the whole mission its self comes across as a last minute botched hat trick pulled out of the producers' rear end!

As if a meeting with the Road Rules Production Staff went something like this: "Well, we've done the relay race, so what else is there to do in Vietnam?" "Ugh, don't know!" ... "Beats me" ... "Don't know!" "Ah hell, give the twerps some cash to blow for a day, and call it a charity!" "Great.... ugh, how much you have on ya?" Heck, even Pawel's photo sale produced up to 30 million dong; all of which went straight to the center as appose to the pocket change the cheapskates were able to cough up- which didn't even amount to half that (now that's pitiful folks)! And of course the money can't go directly to the orphanage since Helerrita supplies some arbitrary excuse about the need to circulate the money throughout the Vietnamese economy; which in turn will one day eliminate all orphanages and everyone will live happily ever after.... (uh huh).

Can someone please explain to me why it is mandatory to blow away cash at expensive eateries, beauty parlors, etc... when the same cash can go towards buying vaccines and other health care products those kids could use "today" as appose to waiting on a helping hand from the government a week, or month down the road?

And once the troopers receive their cash, they can't even unanimously agree on where to spend it; thus we're treated to several immature hissy fit scenes throughout the second act. In one truly pitiful scene, Ayanna stirs up a forced conflict between her and the group at "Mom & Pop's Barber Shop" because she feels they should spend their cash at a low income=low cost salon instead. Ok ethically that's cool, but we are after all on limited time here; therefore, the highest price in town wins!

But, there's a dangerous pitfall in expressing that sort of attitude... for fear of being manipulated by one of B-M's slick marketing schemes--in conjunction with the Vietnamese Tourism Board to promote their high scale businesses by giving these pawns a time limit on cash spending--coupled with a chubby city guide (Spanky, who oh so happens to bump into the cast right when they need him) with the 411 on the most expensive/lugubrious 4 star avenues in town!

However, not to side-step the issue... my main gripe with Ayanna was over her accusations of racism which had no foundation what so ever. Just how is passing up a low quality salon in favor of a high quality salon (both with asian owners) a sign that you're a racist? Especially given the fact that the only white face in the group is Pawel (and he doesn't say much anyhow)! Go figure. It seems as though every since "Hot Voodoo" Ayanna feels it's her duty to either be the self-righteous crusader, or antagonist of the group. As if she has some sort of vendetta against the group for (in her view) ganging up on her in that mock trial, and is now intent on giving them an annoying piece of her mind from here on out. But I digress.

Goofs

• Continuity: Over the course of three scenes intended to appear as consistent, Clueless' attire changes from a white slip like skirt when touring the center, to a black tank top and blue jogging pants while receiving the low-down on the mission, to a red silk dress upon embarking on their shopping spree, phew! The editors sure had fun with the cut & paste button this week!

• The Rules Are Not Made To Be Broken: When the group were munching on lunch(?) at the first restaurant, Clueless informed us that Marlene had slipped off to rent a van for 1 million dong; but as I recall... one of the rule of the game was that the group could not split up for any reason what so ever. Therefore, wouldn't Marlene's actions here automatically disqualify them?

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