Dare to be Stupid

As the season end nears, B-M finds itself in a frantic effort to stir up some "conflict".

Analysis

Finally, the producers realize that this season, filled with death-defying stunts also requires some "flavor" as well. So they spice it up with an amusing and at times moody Truth or Dare mission coupled with the ultimate fear challenge.

Here Ann from MTV.com pays the troopers a visit at their luxurious hotel in Santa Monica. Their mission: To execute a series of heavily edited viewer submitted truth or dare questions and challenges. Highlights on the Dare side include Bumpkin treating M'saada to a personal strip tease while donning the latest Halloween fashion attire for frat boys, The Walking 1-900 Number; Kathy sporting a whip cream bikini--although she pulls a major cop-out by sporting a full-back bikini underneath; and James gets a double dare, bumming other hotel guest for a shower and locking lips with a reluctant M'saada, who threatened to kick his @ss had he slipped her the tongue.

But whereas the Dare challenge centered around good ole fashion fun, the Truth Testimonies managed to "heat" things up, both on a flirtatious and confrontatious scale:

Question for James: "Who would you choose to share a One-Night Stand with?" To everyone's surprise, James bashfully picks M'saada who abruptly tells him to shut his pie hole. Poor M'saada, can't seem to get enough of those unwanted sexual advances from horny frat dudes.

Question for Kathy: "Name one aspect you hate about each of your travelmates?"

Bumpkin: Too judgmental.

James: His ugly funky feet (can you say "Pedicure"?)

Folly: Pretends she knows everything, but in reality she only knows how to annoy.

Laterrian: Too moody and anti-communication. Well what do you expect hun? You lead a guy on with a customize blow-job in the rest room, then you casually dispose of him like a used kleenex upon being caught in the act by your unsuspecting boyfriend--pretending like nothing ever happened? I'd cop a tude too.

Question for Folly: "What's the sneakiest thing you've done on this trip?" Seemingly appalled by the question, Folly finds it difficult to even drudge up a response, but why? She's pretty surreptitious when it comes to getting her way a la, "Flying Aces".

And then came the second land mine question.

Question for M'saada: "If you could eliminate one of your travelmates who would it be and why?" For her part M'saada--understandably--finds it difficult to just choose one, when in reality she'd rather choose All of the Above. Eventually she fingers Folly for her annoyance and over all rudeness--to which Ms. Folly plays ignorance, but to no avail. However, if this question proves one thing it is that this show would be ten times an interesting if the producers would care to implement this Survivor/Big Brother-esquel fellow castmate elimination procedure. Just think of the anticipation that'd bring to a season week after week. B-M, if you're reading this (and I know you are), please take note!

So after the grueling Truth session, Ann awards the troopers their token coins. Then the cast is summoned to the Shasta to hear the Roadgimmick spew out more of his tired rhetoric (spew all you want ole bloated one, your time is running out). Their E-mail informs them to head to the MTV Mission Board Department.

Upon arrival they are greeted by a trio of conservatively dress Road Rules Alumni: Chumpwick, Christina (Aussie), and Vince (Islands). Ugh, so let me get this straight B-M, of all the RR alumni out there you choose two of the most arrogant pricks in RR history? But since you're on a theme here, why not get it over with and replace Christina with Erica while you're at it.

Anyway, the alumni inform the troopers of their challenge, which is to create the scariest mission imaginable. Thankfully such famed clichés as skydiving and bungee jumping have been prohibited. Chumpwick then hands them a product placement Cobalt Card with a credit limit of $5,000 for mission expenses.

So with their cash and instructions the troopers return to the Shasta to deliberate over what would be the scariest mission. Bumpkin proves himself a major-league butt hole by suggesting they all bury themselves alive in wooden coffins. 'Scuse me? Does this only strikes me as incredibly insane? Even die-hard escape artist have better sense than to take on the coffin of death! But what's really scary here is the fact that these air heads actually think this foolish suggestion is a good ideal (yes, it appears that Bumpkin's Stupids are contagious)! Throughout this atmosphere of insanity M'saada and Laterrian are the only voices of reason, so they're promptly scolded as a result.

Afterwards, the troopers return to the MTV Mission Board to present their individual proposals for Scariest mission. James provides Citra (apparently the only brand of soft drink allowed by B-M) with a shameful plug as he goes before the alumni committee to present his time-consuming ideal of having everyone perform their own fear challenge. Christina quickly shoots his proposal down--sighting it would take too long.

Up next, we find that Bumpkin actually has the audacity to still propose his ludicrous ideal, to which Vince quickly points out the gaping logic hole of what the-heck-would-one-do-for-"air"? Plus, what if someone (Folly) freaks out down there? Would they have an emergency whistle or something? These are contingencies that Bumpkin evidently doesn't have the intellect to consider. Besides, what about the huge liability potential if something were to go horribly wrong? B-M's not as dumb as Bumpkin looks.

Last but not least (at least from the editing standpoint) Kathy marches up to the committee and takes command of the meeting like the bossy corporate yuppie she aspires to be. Asking the alumni if any of them are married, Kathy proposes that they all shack up with a complete stranger--Las Vegas style--for 48hrs, because everyone, including ole Kathy, is afraid of commitment.

The alumni, to James and his obnoxious fat jaw's objection, considers the proposal along with the others. They inform the troopers to give them a ring (foreshadowing) sometime later for their decision. When sometime later rolls around the gang contacts the Mission Board--via car phone--for their decision. The contact on the other end (Vince?) informs the troopers that after an intense discussion with the Roadgimmick (you mean to tell me that sensible people actually negotiate with that moron?!) they finally settled with the marriage challenge, but the catch is they have to marry each other. Naturally everyone's like, "Hell No!", but given the trend for group conflict throughout this episode, you had to see this plot twist coming a mile away!


NEXT WEEK: Not even married yet and the troopers are arguing over money issues!


Jump straight to "Gone in 60 Seconds". Or go back to "There's no 'O' in 'Team'".

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