The Terrible Towel


Towels and Points Delight 

                    By Myron Cope 

                                   

              Not long ago, Dan Rooney the president of the
     Pittsburgh Steelers handed me a copy of the 
     Sports Business- The Management Newsletter for
     Sports Money Makers. 

              He pointed to an item he knew would interest me.
     Under the Advisory for Fans, Sports Business confided
     to the Moguls who subscribe to it: "Special, almost
     Unclassifiable gimmick like the Steelers' Terrible Towel
     are a fan turn-on. The keys to the most successful of
     these devices seem to be 1)Color, and 2)Motion.
     Crowds dressed in the same color clothing can make an
     impact, but it is passive. Color plus motion in the stands
     creates a kind of framework for the content itself,
     making the entire experience more memorable for the
     spectator. We suggest a look at the Japanese and
     British sports crowds for examples of dynamic display of
     color and motion." 

              I, as creator of the Terrible Towel, and instrument
     with which Steelers fans had flogged their team to
     victories in Super Bowls X and XIII (the Steelers won
     Super Bowl IX without it), could not decide which
     impressed me ore - Sports Business' expertise in
     determining that color plus motion had made the towel a
     success, or my audacity in creating the towel while
     ignorant of the fact that I was mixing a precise formula
     that would produce a "special almost unclassifiable
     gimmick." 

              During the NBC telecast of Super Bowl XIII, Curt
     Gowdy had referred to the towel as the "dirty towel" an
     allusion that had not especially annoy me inasmuch as
     Gowdy had botched the names of the legions of
     professional football players. Let him know that Sports
     business, which gets $60 for 24 issues from, sports
     moneymakers, perceives the impact of the Terrible
     Towel, which, dirty or laundered is held to be good
     reason for the moneymakers to take a close look at
     Japanese and British crowds. Lord, that I had known all
     that at the beginning. 

              "Your ideas was pure genius," said Rooney. "But
     you were too stupid to know what you were doing." 

              Here I should explain that I'm a Pittsburgh
radio/television sports commentator and an anlayst of
     Steeler games on the radio. Late in November of 1975, I
     received a call from the secretary to the vice president
     and general manager of WTAE Radio who said, "Can
     you step over to Ted's office?" 

              Crossing the hall, I found the burly figure of Ted J.
     Atkins. He was huddled with the vice president for sales,
     Larry Garrett. Atkins said, "The Steelers are going to
     the playoffs. As you know the first game will be here in
     Pittsburgh. As the Steelers flagship radio station, we
     think we should come up with some sort of gimmick that
     will involve the people." 

              Then Atkins barked, "Come up with a gimmick!"
     "I'm not a gimmick guy," I replied. "Never have been a
     gimmick guy." 

              "You don't understand," said Garrett. He explained
     that were I to promote some kind of object that the fans
     would wave or wear at the playoffs, advertisers would be
     so impressed by my hold on the public that they would
     clamor to sponsor my various shows. 

              "Beside," said Garrett, "your contract with us
     expires in three months." 

              "I'm a gimmick guy," I shrugged. 

              Advertising salesmen were hurriedly summoned to
     Atkins' office. Brainstorms erupted. "I've got it!" cried a
     salesman. "Chuck Noll's motto is 'Whatever it takes,'
     right?" Totally sober the salesman proposed that we
     dress the 50,000 fans entering Three Rivers Stadium in
     black costume masks upon which Noll's motto would be
     painted in gold lettering. A phone call to a supplier of
     novelties revealed that 50,000 black masks could be
     obtained at a cost of 50 cents apiece, $25,000, vice
     presidents Atkins and Garrett incisively concluded that
     black masks were not the crowd pleaser we were looking
     for. 

              "What we need here," I said, "Is something that's
     lightweight and portable and already is owned by just
     about every fan." 

              "How about towels?" Garrett said. 

              "A towel?" It had possibilities. 

              "We could call it the Terrible Towel," I said. 

              "Yes, and I can go on radio and television
     proclaiming, 'The Terrible Towel is poised to strike!'" 

              "Gold and black towels, the colors of the Steelers,"
     someone piped. 

              "No," I said, "Black won't provide color. We'll tell
     them to bring gold or yellow towels." 

              "Yellow and gold will fly," cried a sales voice. "Tell
     'em if they don't have one, buy one, and if they don't
     want to buy one, dye one!" 

              "I'll tell 'em they can use the towel to wipe their
     seats clean," I said, "They can use it as a muffler
     against the cold. They can drape it over their heads if it
     rains." 

              Another great concept in broadcasting having
     being born, Ted J. Atkins sent out for champagne.
     Later, when the Terrible Towel advanced for final
     approval to Franklin C. Snyder, vice president and
     general manager of the Hearst Broadcasting System, he
     ordered only one change: "We must have black towels
     too," he said gravely. "If we exclude black, we'll be
     asking for trouble from the Human Relations
     Commission and the FCC." 

              A few days later, on the heavily watched Sunday
     night 11 o'clock television news, I introduced Pittsburgh
     to the Terrible Towel, making a dammed fool of myself
     by hurling towels at the anchorman, the weatherman,
     and everyone else. Public response was instant and
     pleasantly flabbergasting. One of the few resisters was
     a co-captain of the Steelers, linebacker Andy Russell. 

              "What's this crap about a towel?" he growled at me
     in the locker room several days later. We're not a
     gimmick team. We've never been a gimmick team." 

              His words had the ring of familiarity. But I fell back
     upon bravado. "Russell," I said, "You're sick." 

              Mind you, I did not see the Terrible Towel as
     witchcraft to hex the enemy. It would be a positive force,
     driving the Steelers to superhuman performance.
     Unsure of my own sanity, almost daily I intoned on radio
     and television, "The Terrible Towel is poised to strike!" 

              The very morning of the playoff game, against
     Baltimore, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette warned that I was
     trying to turn Three Rivers Stadium into a tenement
     neighborhood, yet at least 30,000 spectators turned up
     for the game waving Terrible Towels. It was a fine start.
     In foul, wet weather, wide receiver Frank Lewis wiped his
     hands with a Terrible Towel, then made a scarcely
     believable one-handed catch of a Terry Bradshaw
     bullet. Later, Bradshaw went down, his leg injured, and
     did not emerge from the locker room tunnel when his
     teammates took the field for the second half. Only
     seconds before play resumed, the crowd exploded,
     filling the air with towels, for Bradshaw had reappeared. 

              Could Russell remain a nonbeliever? A young
     woman named Lisa Benz beheld the towel's effect upon
     him (Russell scooped up a Colts fumble and, through
     playing on an injured leg, lumbered 93 yards to a
     touchdown) and later mailed me the following verse: 

          He ran ninety-three
          Like a bat out of hell,
          And no one could see
          How he rambled so well.
          "It was easy," said Andy,
          And he flashed a cooked smile,
          "I was snapped on the fanny
          By the Terrible Towel!"

              Yea, verily did infidels cast aside their skepticism
     as the Steelers and the Terrible Towel whipped their
     way through the Oakland Raiders to the American
     Conference title, and through the Dallas Cowboys to
     victory in Super Bowl X, 

              Last year Pittsburgh again earned home-field
     advantage for the playoffs. That dictated the Terrible
     Towel's resurrection, its use being reserved exclusively
     for post-season games. And if I say so, this set a
     standard of commotion worthy of the Beatles and Elvis.
     The Denver Broncos came out on the field at Three
     Rivers and found themselves trapped in a vortex of
     yellow, gold and black terry cloth whirling against the
     bitter December sky like the swords of 50,000
     Cossacks. 

              Lynn Swann, answering his introduction by the
     P.A. announcer, loped out to the goal line, leaped 4 feet
     into the air and snapped a Terrible Towel overhead,
     whereupon from the crowd there came a thunderclap of
     a roar such as I had never heard at an athletic event.
     Swann then presented his towel to his fellow wide
     receiver, John Stallworth, who proceeded to catch not
     three or four passes (a good day's work) but 10. Later
     as the Steelers put the finishing touches to a 33 - 10
     trashing of the Broncos, an eavesdropping NFL Films
     microphone caught Swann and Stallworth on the
     sideline taking inventory of their prospects for going all
     the way. 

              "We've got the offense," said Swann. "We've got
     the defense. We've got the QB. We've got Franco.
     We've got Joe Greene. We've got Chuck Noll." Slapping
     hands mightily with Stallworth, Swann concluded, "And
     we've got the Terrible Towel." 

              Next, Earl Campbell and the Houston Oilers came
     to town for the AFC Championship game. Multitudes of
     Western Pennsylvanians who had been unable to get
     ticket to the game draped towels over their television
     sets and radios, even over their dogs, cats and children.
     Towels hung from windows, lampposts and roofs. A
     department store chain that offered Terrible Towels at
     $6.50 each, with a charity earmarked as the beneficiary,
     had run out of them in four hours; it then ordered
     another shipment and had run out in two hours. 

              As the Steelers and the Oilers lined up for the
     opening kickoff, a yellow towel suddenly descended
     from the deck above the WTAE broadcasting booth, and
     as if by magic, jerked to a halt in midair 15 feet in front
     of the booth. 

              My binoculars revealed that painstaking Steelers
     fans had strung fishing line from the top deck clear
     down to the end zone to our left, their plan having been
     to release the towel at kickoff and let it slide by means of
     a pulley to the end zone. But then fishing line, so fine it
     had been invisible to the naked eye, had become
     coated with ice in the freezing rain that whipped the
     stadium, and that arrested the towel before our very
     eyes. 

              "What is that dammed towel doing out there?"
     cried my broadcast partner, Jack Fleming. A large
     deep-voiced man and a football purist who from the
     outset had been hostile to my Terrible Towel. Fleming
     now found that the one before him removed half the
     gridiron from his vision as he was about to begin his
     play-by-play. 

              "Somebody get that towel out of here," he
     bellowed. 

              Minutes later, the roof above Fleming sprang a
     leak, and in an instant he was soaked. "Give me one of
     those damned things," he yelled reaching into an
     assortment of Terrible Towels at my elbow. While he
     mopped his spotter boards, I wondered. "Is the towel
     punishing an unbeliever?" I sat less than 3 feet from
     Flemming's left, yet no water fell on me. Meanwhile, our
     producer produced an umbrella, Fleming, livid, clutched
     it in a white-knuckled fist throughout the first quarter,
     craning to follow ballcarriers and receivers as they
     disappeared behind the yellow towel suspended before
     us, and roaring during every timeout for workmen to cut
     down the infernal rag. 

              That done at last, Fleming settled into a mood of
     controlled churlishness striving to find enjoyment in the
     fact that the Steelers were thundering toward a 34 - 5
     win. Without warning, however, a Steelers fan named
     Larry Opperman, a one time unsuccessful candidate for
     the State Legislature, leaped from the stands across the
     field as the Oilers deployed to receive a kickoff.
     Opperman wore two Terrible Towels over a bathing suit,
     and he twirled another towel overhead. He raced past
     the Oilers' bench to the 50-yard line. He then zigzagged
     his way downfield through the entire Houston team,
     whooping like a madman. The crowd roared "Idiot,"
     snapped Fleming. 

              Two days later, Opperman popped into my office
     unannounced. "I thought you might like to have this," he
     said. He handed me the towel he had worn. It was still
     slightly damp but was obviously a memento to e
     cherished. "How kind of you," I said. 

              But the impending Super Bowl showdown against
     the Dallas Cowboys at Miami troubled me. "The Terrible
     Towel does not like to travel," I cautioned the faithful in
     my radio and television commentaries. "The towel
     breathes life from the support it gets from the fans in the
     stadium, but Steelers fans are finding Super Bowl tickets
     hard to come by." Those fans, I had forgotten, had
     demonstrated at two previous Super Bowls involving
     their team that when it came to procuring tickets, John
     D. Rockefeller was no more adept at unearthing oil.
     They showed up in the Orange Bowl at least 20,000
     strong, flying their Terrible Towels, and at game time,
     the towel gave a sign to the nation that it was ready. 

              On the Steelers' first play from scrimmage, center
     Mike Webster hunkered over the ball wearing a yellow
     Terrible Towel tucked into his wristband. "I believe," said
     Bradshaw as he lined up over Webster. He touched the
     towel and proceeded to bombard the Cowboys dizzy
     firing four touchdown passes. The Steelers were ahead
     by 18 points, with some seven minutes remaining, whine
     I trotted down from our booth to the Pittsburgh bench to
     be nearer to the locker room, where I would conduct
     postgame radio interviews. 

              "Here," Webster said to me. He handed me the
     game towel, soggy by now. "I guess we don't need this
     anymore." 

              I stuffed the towel into my briefcase and zipped it
     closed. With that, the Cowboys awakened. They rallied
     for a quick touchdown to draw within 11 points. Steelers
     fans having had to lay 4 1/2 points and more, because
     uneasy. The towel, I was to realize later, cried out to be
     turned loose from my briefcase, but I did not hear its
     plaints above the din that filled the Orange Bowl. As the
     Cowboys drove to yet another score to reduce the final
     margin to a calamitous four points, the towel shrieked till
     its fibers popped, but it went unheard. 

              "How could you suffocate the towel when we
     needed it most? a fan demanded afterward. "I'm
     laughing for the Super Steelers but I'm crying inside to
     the tune of a hundred and a half." 

              Still the Steelers' triumph prompted the information
     of the Terrible Towel bandwagons. From Ohio State,
     Purdue and the University of Iowa, reports came to me
     of basketball crowds twirling towels. The pro bowling
     tour stopped near Dallas where a transplanted
     Pittsburgh woman approached her favorite bowler,
     Marshall Holman, and handed him a Terrible Towel.
     Using it to wipe the perspiration from his hands, Holman
     won the $15,000 first prize. A distraught woman sent me
     a check for $6.50, beseeching me to send her a towel;
     the department store had been sold out when she tried
     to buy one. She explained that her nephew, injured in
     an auto accident weeks earlier, lay in a coma. "He's a
     Steelers fan," she wrote. "When he wakes up, the first
     thing we want him to see at his bedside is the Terrible
     Towel." 

              Mind you, being high priest of a towel does not
     turn my head. I have published four books and, before
     that, learned to play the clarinet, saxophone and piano.
     Yet it now appears certain that when my time comes,
     they will say to me in Pittsburgh, my longtime hometown,
     "Oh, he was the fellow who had that towel." Indeed in the
     aftermath of Super Bowl XIII, I received notification from
     the Pro Football Hall of Fame at Canton, Ohio, that a set
     of three Terrible Towels was to be enshrined there for
     all to behold. I must remember to visit the Hall of Fame
     to see if the towels hang along side the busts of Bronko
     Nagurski and Sammy Baugh, or in a lavatory. Either
     way, I still remain composed. 

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