Blood. That was all he could see. Even as he closed his eyes, struggling to shut it out, it still tormented him--red, dripping...being a soldier, the sight of blood had never affected him before...he could shoot a man and watch him bleed to death without flinching. So why did the sight of blood make it hard for him to breathe now? Why was his heart beating so fast...? He had never been like that...after all, he had been trained to be apathetic, to execute without remorse...he had never felt the need or the desire to stray away from that before...
But it's different now. Those dreams...every time I close my eyes...
The battle was over. Heero leaned back in the cockpit of his Gundam, trying to steady his breathing. They're dead. They didn't even have a chance. His mission had been completed--he had destroyed the opposition--it was over. All he had to do was wait for new orders. He was a soldier.
He moved a bit, unbuckling the straps that held him in his seat. Better get out of here. We can't risk being caught. His breath caught in his throat when he saw it. Blood. All over his arm, staining his shirt...he could feel his head start to spin... No! This is not a problem! He drew in a deep breath, but this did nothing to steady him. No...it wasn't the injury...he had been wounded in battle before. The blood...
Ignore it! he told himself. It's just a dream! Heero opened the cockpit of his Gundam, letting the cool night air in. He didn't move to get out--just sat there, staring ahead at the ruined city that surrounded him. Something inside him snapped, and his vision started to blur. That's it... Everything then cleared to an astonishing sharpness. He could see outside now...could see the miles of destruction he had helped cause. There was red all around him, soaking the ground, turning it into a crimson pool. The pool began to spread, creeping towards him...but he didn't move...it just kept growing, and he was sure it was going to engulf him--
Heero closed his eyes slowly, then opened them. He touched the wound on his arm, then raised his hand to his eyes, gazing at his bloodstained fingers with satisfaction. Well done.
He smiled.
Man...he's been gone for a long time... Duo absently stirred another spoonful of sugar into his coffee. He didn't even want to think about how it would taste...but it wasn't as if he had planned on drinking it--he just needed something to distract himself from what was going on in his head. That idiot... He sighed, remembering. It had been a difficult battle...and Heero had taken a few nasty hits...but once it was over, and he had gone to see if he was all right... Well, it's not the first time he's aimed at me... He just wouldn't let anybody near him...threatened to kill him if he came any closer...just sitting there, with his cockpit open...staring ahead... Duo closed his eyes, lost in thought. What the hell was he thinking...?
"You should get some sleep, Duo."
He raised his head slightly upon hearing Quatre speak to him, opening his eyes. The other boy was looking at him, his blue eyes concerned. "I'm fine," Duo mumbled, lowering his gaze. And wasn't he? It was Heero who was gone...
"It's two in the morning," Quatre protested. "Please, Duo...if you're that worried about Heero...I'll stay up and wait for him. You'll make yourself sick, and we--" He paused then, as if he didn't know quite how to put it, "...we need you to be well."
Duo just shook his head and resumed coffee-stirring. Man...he used to think that no behavior was too weird for Heero...but today's battle had forced him to change his mind. I don't get it...Heero would want to disappear right after the battle is finished...so what's going on? Why wouldn't he leave? Why did he... He rubbed his eyes with his free hand, feeling fatigued, but knowing full well that he would never be able to sleep like this. I just want to think that this is just Heero being his usual crazy self again...and everything's okay... Pushing his coffee away, he leaned forward so that his head was resting on the table. That idiot...looking at me like he's the devil and I'm some kind of insect he wants to squash...treating me like I'm his enemy...just what is he turning into, anyway...?
Whatever it was, he was pretty sure that he didn't want to know.
It wasn't the first time she had seen a fight. But as Relena Peacecraft gazed at the remains of the battlefield, and saw the lone machine stopped in the middle of the ruined ground, she knew something was different. Something terrible. She had seen the battle coming...this one...she even thought she knew where Heero was hiding before the strike...but she didn't want to go to see him...somehow, she couldn't find the courage. But now the battle was over...and even though she knew that Heero had won...she felt as frightened as she would be if she had never seen war at all.
It's Heero, isn't it. Something's happened to him.
Brushing a strand of tawny hair away from her face, she took a step toward the silent MS. She knew Heero was still in it...he had left the cockpit open and she could almost see his face...but he wasn't... He can't be dead...no... She broke into a run, racing toward the machine, her heart pounding with every step. Yes...she could make out Heero's form...he was so pale...and she could see that blood had stained his clothing...
Blood!
I...I have to get help, she told herself, fighting desperately to stay calm. She had to be strong...but she could tell he was unconscious...how long had he been there? What had happened to him? The other Gundam pilots...they have to know. Why aren't they here with him? She needed answers, and fast.
Before she left, she gave the Gundam one last look. Heero still hadn't made the slightest motion...he didn't even appear to be breathing. His strangely pale skin shone uncannily in the moonlight. As if he was...
She blinked. Heero...
Relena shook her head. No. Nothing was wrong...he was just hurt. Nothing more than that. She just had to find help.
After she was gone, Heero slowly opened his eyes. He drew in a breath.
Darkness. It's over. He looked at his injured arm, feeling dizziness wash over him. "Where...where am I...?"
Darkness again.
He was still unconscious. It had been hours since they had brought him in, and he was still unconscious. But other than the wound on his arm, he had no visible injuries... I should have told them to bring him to a hospital, Relena thought as she sat huddled in the corner of the dimly lit room. She was exhausted--could barely keep her eyes open--but she didn't want to leave Heero's bedside. She shouldn't...but she still couldn't forget the feeling of dread that came over her when she saw him sitting in his Gundam, completely white...something that she wasn't sure of...was it only because she was worried about him...? Or...something else?
"You don't have to stay here, you know."
Relena's head snapped up so quickly that it almost hurt. She had nearly dozed off there... "I'm fine," she said, smiling wearily in response to Duo's cheerful expression. Had he been there the whole time? She couldn't remember... I must look awful, she mused, her hand going to her slightly disheveled hair.
Duo's smile grew wider, as if he found this action funny in some way. "Don't worry about Heero," he told her. "I'll take good care of him, so you go get some sleep, okay?"
So he understands. I can't leave...not now... But judging from his appearance, he wasn't going to have an easy time staying awake, either. It was almost morning...and even though he was smiling at her like nothing was wrong, the dark circles under his eyes told her that he had been up for quite a while. He's worried about Heero, just like I am... Something made her want to listen to him...she was tired, after all, not being particularly used to pulling all-nighters. She could trust him. "Do you...promise to tell me when he wakes up?" she finally asked.
He saluted, winking at her. "Got it. Now don't worry!"
She nodded a sleepy thank you, letting herself lean wearily back in her chair. There was no use arguing with him--he'd keep his promise. Heero...I hope he'll be all right...
"Asleep already..." Duo straightened a bit, then let out a soft whistle. It had been scarcely fifteen minutes, and the girl was already out. It made him want to laugh. She'd never survive hanging around Heero if she passed out that easily...you really had to stay alert...that is, if you wanted to survive... Listen to me, Duo thought ruefully as he just stopped his head from dropping, despite his previous plan to stay awake. I can't take my own advice!
"Maybe I should get some more coffee," he wondered out loud, getting to his feet. He held onto the back of Relena's chair ever so slightly, just enough to keep himself upright. It didn't help much. How long have I been awake? Twenty hours? Thirty? All of a sudden, he couldn't remember... "Better make that a lot of coffee," he concluded. He took one hand away from the chair, rubbing his eyes briefly. Damn...maybe I should've let Quatre take over...
However, the sight of Heero's lifeless form shook his mind a little more into focus. Heero... Duo made his way over to the bed, almost tripping on the way. He was really losing his coordination... Heero was still unresponsive...he didn't even move when Duo fell to his knees at his bedside, not hearing the resulting sound. Man...what's wrong with him...? He appeared to be in a coma, but there was no reason for it. His injury shouldn't have caused it...it wasn't that serious...not enough to...
"Heero...you...you're dead, and we just don't know it, right...?" The other boy managed a weak smile. He could feel his head beginning to drop, but didn't bother to fight it. Instead, he let it rest on his folded arms, leaning onto the bed. "Maybe I'm dead, too..." he mumbled. His eyes started to close, his body overcome by a strange numbness. "Maybe we're all dead..."
It was over...wasn't it...?
Heero slowly opened his eyes. He could feel the darkness surrounding him even before he saw it. He saw nothing.
Nothing. That's safer than something, isn't it?
Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself into a sitting position. The fierce pain that answered him was no surprise. A battle injury, nothing more. He didn't die this time.
He almost smiled at that one. What luck.
He had almost set his feet on the floor when he felt his legs bump into something. Somebody. The person slid to the floor, hitting it sharply. "What the hell...?!" a familiar voice choked out. The light clicked on, and Heero could see Duo sitting up wearily, covering his forehead with a shaking hand. The boy had been sleeping, no doubt, and he had knocked him over. Heero watched silently as Duo finally noticed that he was not alone.
"Heero...you're awake!" Although he was smiling, Duo's voice was rather quiet, as if there was somebody close by that he didn't want to disturb. Heero stared at him, letting his body relax a bit. Duo...he's been here the entire night, hasn't he. I don't understand... Why did he keep watching him...?
Duo must've mistaken Heero's silence for something else, because he laughed ruefully and said, "Don't worry about my head. It's only a scratch." He smiled sadly, as if there was something ironic in that statement. Very slowly, he lowered his hand, revealing a long cut on his forehead. It didn't look serious, but it was bleeding...
Blood...again...
"What's wrong?" Duo asked, his eyes growing concerned as he took in Heero's pained expression. He just tensed up all of a sudden... "Hey, you really are worried, aren't you...? I said it was just a--"
Blood...he could see it again...filling his head...why did it come now? He should've died...he would've...just to make it stop...he couldn't stop thinking about it...but why? Why? Why did he think about it now?
"H...Heero..." Duo stammered. He let out a gasp as his friend's head suddenly dropped, falling so that he was completely doubled over, his forehead nearly touching his knees. "Heero, snap out of it!" He moved forward, placing his hands on the boy's shoulders, trying to get him to sit upright. "Heero, it's all right. Heero...look at me!"
He obeyed, slowly raising his head. Their eyes met. But Duo was sure that Heero wasn't seeing anything--his blank, cold stare confirmed this. What...what's wrong with him...? Is he dying? Duo unconsciously moved away, but Heero grabbed his shoulders in a startling motion, his grip frighteningly strong. His hands...even through his shirt, they felt so cold... "W...what's wrong...?" he asked, trying to hide just how shaken he was.
Heero's breath suddenly caught in his throat. He tightened his grip on Duo's shoulders, as if he needed him for support. No... He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force it out of his mind. The blood...it's not going to leave me alone...I...I need it...
Duo froze as Heero removed his hand from his left shoulder, using it to brush a strand of hair that had come loose from his braid away from the side of his neck. Oh...God...what is he... The boy smiled then, leaning forward. The apathetic look in his eyes was gone, replaced by something far, far more frightening. No longer was he the emotionless soldier. His eyes...he didn't...
He doesn't even look like a human being!
Before he could move any closer, a soft sound from the other side of the room caused Heero to freeze in mid-motion. He let out a choked cry, pushing Duo away with such force that he was sent sprawling to the floor. He saw her...
Relena...
She was there, sitting in a chair not far away, just starting to wake up from an exhausted slumber. What...why...how could she... Heero felt himself grow ice cold. He couldn't breathe...
"Heero!" Duo cried as the boy fell forward, sliding to the floor. He scrambled to his side, frantically checking for a pulse. Relena, now fully awake, was standing away from the two of them, frozen in shock.
What...what's going on...? she wanted to cry out, but no words would come. Something was wrong...horribly wrong...what had happened to Heero? She wanted to run to his side, to hold him...but she couldn't. Something was keeping her back, something that told her if she got any closer, she would be in danger. Somehow...she understood. There was something...something in the air, maybe...that told her. She swallowed hard, fighting to hold back the tears that sprang to her eyes. Heero...what have you turned into...?
It had been her imagination. Just her imagination. Relena closed the door behind her, stepping outside. Heero was just weak...he must've tried to stand up and fainted...that wasn't too hard to explain. After all, he had lost a lot of blood, and he did have a tendency to overstep his limits... She smiled to herself, remembering how many times she'd been reminded of that. Nothing was wrong...nothing at all. But that feeling that came over me when I woke up and saw him...I couldn't have imagined it... She started walking, struggling to push that thought out of her head. It felt good to be outside...even after the terror of last night's battle, the morning sun somehow made everything seem like a bad dream.
Duo didn't tell me anything...and I know he would've told me if something was wrong with Heero. He promised he'd tell me...and I'm sure he wouldn't lie. She frowned slightly, remembering what had happened just after she woke up. Duo hadn't said anything at all--just stumbled out of the room and practically collapsed in the hall. Well, he was probably exhausted. I'm not surprised, considering how he looked when we brought Heero in. And Quatre did tell me he was going to sleep...so nothing's wrong at all. Nothing at all.
She was going home. She wasn't sure if it was a mistake to come in the first place...after all, she did want to help Heero...and even though a few hours earlier she had not even considered leaving, she didn't see much good in staying. I'll just be in the way, she told herself. It's not that I'm afraid...I'm not! There's nothing to be afraid of!
But she knew that she was lying to herself. Even as she convinced herself that she was right, she knew it. That premonition...that feeling of dread she felt when she awoke...and earlier, when she saw Heero alone on the battlefield...it had come from somewhere. But...wasn't it safer not to press any further, to accept things as a mystery and run away?
I'm sorry, Heero...I...I should've been stronger... She smiled sadly, feeling those familiar tears come once again. But even as she left...she knew that she would not be able to stay away. Not for long.
Quatre gently tucked a blanket around Duo's shoulders, smiling to himself. He never could sit still...even when he was exhausted...he had only been asleep for an hour when he suddenly woke up, asking something about Heero...what he was saying hadn't made an ounce of sense, and he dragged a chair right outside Heero's room...and fell asleep in it. It had been difficult to get him over to the couch, but hopefully he would stay there until he was fully rested.
But... he thought, But...he seemed scared, somehow. He kept saying that something was wrong with Heero...but if he was so worried about his injury, then why didn't he want to stay in the room with him, instead of outside the door..? He returned his gaze to the sleeping boy, half-expecting an answer. His eyes widened. He's shaking...
Quatre leaned over a bit, pulling the blanket away from Duo's face so he could get a better look at him. He was curled up in a near-fetal position...as if he was trying to hide, or protect himself from something... "Duo..." he said softly, patting his shoulder. "Duo...are you okay...?" But there was no response. He sighed. A nightmare...he must be having a nightmare... In that case, it would be best to let him sleep. All nightmares passed...in time...
Nightmare...what a nightmare...
Duo opened his eyes. It was completely dark...nobody else was around. He took a breath, trying to slow his heartbeat down. Just a dream... He could see now that it had all been a dream...a dream...but it had all seemed so real... But how could it? You're not making sense, Duo. He sat up, tossing the blanket that had been covering him aside. He must've fallen asleep on the couch...and from the looks of things,he had been out for a pretty long time. But that dream...Heero...
He had dreamt about Heero...about Heero dying, he was sick from something...and he had asked him to help him. He hadn't said it in words...but he could feel him begging him... He had told him that there was something he needed from him...something he had to have from him, or he would...and then he... Duo squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to remember. He had... It made him feel sick just to think about it. He had grabbed him, then tried to... He wanted...blood? My blood...?
He shook his head fiercely, trying to clear it. It couldn't be true. You're going crazy. There's nothing wrong. Heero...he is not a vampire! You're just imagining things...do you have any idea how long it's been since you've slept at all? He tried to force himself to laugh, to smile, to do something, but his body wouldn't obey. What the hell is wrong?! he felt like screaming at himself. You dream something this ridiculous...and now you think it's real...? It was a dream, a stupid dream...Heero was hurt, he knew that. He had just been with him that night before...until he...
Then he remembered. It hadn't been a dream. No...God...
But it was too late to think about that. He could hear footsteps suddenly breaking the silence, and felt his heart threaten to stop. Even before he saw anything, he knew who it was. It was Heero. Standing in the doorway, pale and still, his eyes shining in the darkness. Just like in his dream. He didn't have to look too hard to see who it was.
The only difference between now and before was that he now knew what he was.
No. I won't believe it!
A wave of dizziness passed through Duo as the boy walked toward him. He still appeared weak, not standing completely upright...it almost seemed as if he was in a dream himself. Or like he was dead... Duo suddenly was reminded of what he had said to Heero before. About them both being dead...he was starting to think this was true...they were both dead. Because as their eyes met, Duo felt himself being drawn to his feet...he was terrified and he wanted to run...but there was something in him that was pulling him to Heero. Something that kept pushing him forward...whispering in his ear, telling him to go to the wraith that used to be his friend and--
Friend...Heero had asked him to do this for him, and he was asking him again. No matter what he was, no matter what he had been...he had never, ever been able to put his life in his friend's hands...he didn't even consider Duo his friend. So why is he asking me to do this...? Why me...? Duo could remember everything now...the times he had feared for Heero's life...the times he had gotten frustrated at his coldness...and now he was asking him to do him one favor...like he was his friend and he could trust him to understand...
His friend...that's what he was. And he always would be.
Let him kill me? No...that's not it. I just need to...give him what he needs...
Then, with tears in his eyes, Duo obeyed.
It had stopped. The pain had stopped.
Heero opened his eyes, feeling like he had just woken from a deep sleep. He felt...stronger, and he could think clearly now...he gazed down at his arm, which scarcely hurt anymore. So it's over...for now...
But...as he started to move away, something stopped him. Strange...he hadn't even realized it...the limp body slipping from his arms as he stepped away. A person, barely breathing...he took a closer look and realized that he knew him.
Duo.
The boy fell from his grasp then, collapsing on the floor at his feet. Heero watched this, his face stony, but with eyes that were on fire. Duo...he... So this was why the pain had stopped. So this was what had happened. He gave me what I asked him for, after all. I don't know why... If he wasn't dead already, he was close to it. But...this was wrong...how could he take a life for his own benefit? Why was he doing this? This wasn't him at all...but the blood... He swallowed hard, glaring at the front door. Somebody was watching.
The door creaked open a tiny bit, then opened all the way as Heero stood there, frozen. He couldn't move an inch. He knew he should run, or try to conceal what he had done, but he was locked in place. Duo still lay on the floor, unmoving...why couldn't he run?
It's her.
Relena quietly slipped in through the front door, closing it carefully behind her. She shivered. It's him. She felt him looking at her...with eyes she barely recognized. When she finally raised her head to meet his gaze, she gasped involuntarily. His eyes... Her hand went to her mouth, silencing a scream that never made it out of her throat. His eyes...what has he done...? Her gaze moved from Heero to the boy who lay comatose at his feet. A thin line of blood trickled down the side of his neck. Oh...my God...this can't be... He had done that...and she knew she had to do something...but his eyes...the way he was looking at her... "Heero..." she managed to say.
He continued to stare at her, his inhuman eyes boring into her soul. But...just for a second...she could've sworn she saw him shudder... She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. You know what you have to do. Do it, Relena! Hadn't she planned to do this if the situation went this far? She reached into the pocket of her dress, not taking her eyes off Heero. That's it. Keep him in your sight. Her hand closed around cold metal. Now...will a bullet kill a vampire...?
Heero's voice shattered her calm facade. "Kill me," he said.
For some reason, Geocities won't let me finish this file...please follow this link to the end of the story...
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