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-[ femme fatale database ]- -[ the mummy returns ]- Opening on the May 4 weekend with a whopping $70 million, The Mummy Returns detailed the return of the mummy (duh). Now, I'm sure most of the people who went to see this movie went because they wanted to be awed by the state-of-the-art cg effects or to see The Rock turning in an Oscar-caliber performance (yah right) as the Scorpion King. But when I saw the previews for this film, the overwhelming draw was this: Egyptian fighting chicks!!! Awwwww, yeah! And after seeing the epic, I came to an enlightened epiphany: no matter what the culture or time period, all women around the world are united by one divine characteristic: the potential to get in a martial arts catfight! -[ charlie's angels ]- One of my favorite movies of all time based on one of my favorite TV series of all time, Charlie's Angels possessed three critical components for a blockbuster: sexy ladies, sexy ladies with great hair and great clothes, and lots of fast and furious girl fighting! Now that I have the DVD (got it the day it came out, baby!), I can watch those action sequences REPEATEDLY (and believe me, I do). -[ crouching tiger, hidden dragon ]- Continuing with the international theme set forth by The Mummy Returns ... Chinese fighting chicks!!! While this movie didn't necessarily introduce anything "new" (plots of this sort and martial arts films like these have been produced in Hong Kong and China for DECADES), it was perhaps the most visually beautiful one I've ever seen. And you just CAN'T go wrong with Michelle Yeoh (one of the premier fighting chicks of all time) and the up-and-coming Zhang Ziyi. You owe it to yourself to see this movie. And you owe it to fighting chicks everyone to honor it with your viewing. -[ ayane ]- Ayane made her first video game appearance in Dead or Alive, released on the Playstation, and was soon back with her badly designed Japanese outits (oversized bows and all) in Dead or Alive Hardcore on the Playstation 2. Despite its name, the game did not feature any porn ... although the game's creators/fanboys were still pathetic enough to add in a "bouncing breast mode" (this is no joke); when activated, the female characters in the game would jump around while their pendulous breasts bobbed to and fro, utterly disregarding the rules of physics. But I digress ... Cos the bottom line is, Ayane the ninja girl kicks serious ass! -[ chun li ]- One of the most recognizable digital females in the world, Chun Li has been kicking Ken and Ryu's generic behinds since the early nineties. Before her, I was essentially a gaming virgin; I had played the original Streetfighter, but never really got all that hooked. But then Street Figher 2 came around and I instantly developed a liking for the ribbon-haired Chun Li. So now, after popping my gaming cherry (hmmm, maybe this isn't such a good metaphor after all), Chun Li's still one of my favorite characters and one of the trailblazing chicks who fight! -[ buffy the vampire slayer ]- This is my favorite show on television! To those who haven't watched it, the name makes it seem like teeny-fluff straight out of a Britney Spears video. But in reality, the story lines and character development are incredibly intricate, intriguing, and completely involving. Seriously! I never miss an episode of it. As should be obvious, Buffy slays vampires. Sometimes she slays with other chicks who fight, like the infamous Faith (Eliza Dushku), and sometimes she slays pesky demons who decide to wreck pestilence on the world. And slay them she does, often and well! Stakes, axes, kicks, biting, magic ... all come together in a dazzling array of chick fighting! -[ faith (buffy the vampire slayer) ]- As mentioned above, Faith, once a friend to Buffy then a mortal enemy before repenting and accepting punishment for her actions, did plenty of her own slaying. Vampires bit the dust on account of her stakes and demons had their heads smashed by her fists. On several occasions, she even fought Buffy to a standstill during some of the coolest choreographed action sequences on television. If these two got over their differences, they'd make an awesome, butt-kicking duo (again). And if they don't, then I'll grab a bag of popcorn and watch them catfight! -[ xena, warrior princess ]- One of the most recognizable figures in television, Xena was the pioneer of chick-fighting action on American TV. Not only was she a warrior princess, she was also an Amazon queen, a handmaiden of the god of war, a rebel leader ... kind of makes my resume pale by comparison. And she did all this with swords and chakrams, none of which ever had blood on them after fighting (uh, hello, prop guys??), while fighting Samoans in Ancient Greece (uh, hello, casting directors??). Sadly, after years of syndication, Xena and her "friend" Gabrielle, along with her arch-nemesis Callisto and all those other memorable femme fetales, the show came to a close during the summer of 2001. -[ relic hunter ]- Tia Carrere has always been hot. But as Sidney Fox, relic hunter extraordinaire and university history professor, she's even hotter! You know she's pretty cos ... well ... look at her! And you know she's smart cos she's a professor and she puts on glasses to read sometimes (the surefire indicator of intelligence, as we all know). And then there are the times she beats up rival relic hunters and all-around bad guys. Apparently, she picked up martial arts while hunting relics and teaching history (duh). I sure as hell am not complaining! -[ vip ]- Developed by and starring Pamela Lee Anderson, this show makes no attempt at being serious or even smart. And I LOVE it! First, some background on this entertaining syndicated show ... VIP is an elite bodyguard organization of which the ladies above (Tasha, Valery, and Nikki) are members of. They're hired by a variety of clients and always manage to get into gun battles and hand-to-hand combat (oh I'm GIDDY like a school girl!). Then there are the pyrotechnics which are like icing on the sugary cake. Long live VIP! -[ nyssa ]- Nyssa, otherwise known as Leonor Varela in that place called "real life" (wha??), brought her special brand of butt-kicking to the silver screen in Blade II as one of the integral members of the "Bloodpack," a tactical team originally founded to hunt and kill Blade. I find it interesting how so many of the chicks I find so intriguing are connected to vampires for some reason. Hope I don't have any Freudian issues ... Unfortunately, it's fairly certain she won't be back for the next Blade sequel ... so let's hope they do some sort of PREquel to Blade 2 to satisfy us fanboys! -[ alias ]- Sydney Bristow is a college graduate student by day, CIA agent by night. But not just any CIA agent - she's actually a double-agent for both the CIA and SD-6, a criminal organization posing as a top-secret division of the U.S. government. Sydney's profession requires her to go undercover in various parts of the world; so of course she has to wear trippy wigs and sassy dresses to throw off suspicion. But just in case all that doesn't work, she's got plenty of high-tech gadgets and martial arts expertise at her disposal. I especially love seeing the latter. Repeatedly.