KAREL'S CHEESE HOUSE

A condo committee was screening a couple interested in renting an apartment:
"What kind of work do you do?" they were asked.
"My husband is an engineer and I'm a school-teacher," the wife replied.
"Any children?" asked a committee member.
"Yes, 7 & 8 years old," the wife replied.
"Animals?" asked another committee member.
"Oh no! They're very well-behaved!"

There was a cannibal walking through the jungle and he came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu

Broiled Missionary $25.00

Fried Explorer $35.00

Baked Politician $100.00

The customer called the cook over and asked "why such a price difference for the politician?"
The cook replied "Have you ever tried to clean one of them?"

What is the difference between Madonna and Maradona?
Madonna cannot act.

What are a truckers two most favourite four letter words?
Truk and lory.

Two antropologists were in South America & they heard about this legendary green gorilla. They asked the local people where it was. The locals told them where the gorilla was, but made them promise not to touch it. Well, they searched long & hard for the gorilla & everywhere they went, people would tell them, "Don't TOUCH the gorilla!" Well, they spotted it in a remote part of the forest. One of the antrhropologists in his glee forgot about the warning & ran up & touched the beast. Well, the gorilla got pissed & chased after them, destroying everything in its path. Mile after mile, the gorilla chased them. He chased them all the way to NY City, trapping them in a small room. The two men were afraid the gorilla would kill them, and then the gorilla tapped one on the shoulder and said: "TAG. YOU'RE IT!"

In USSR, a boy talking to his grand-father:

Boy: "- What is the Perestroika ?"
Grand-Father: "- You see these two buckets of coal? One is full and the other one is empty."
B: " - Yes."
GF: " - Well... (he walks to the buckets and drop the coal from the full bucket into the empty one)... This is the Perestroika."
B: " - But, this is the same thing."
GF: " - Yes, but did you hear the noise ?!"

A doctor on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients behaving rather strangely. The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud noises not unlike a Kenworth...VRROOOOM,VRRROOOOMM,....SCREEEECH.......
"What are you doing?" enquires the doctor.
"Im taking this road train down to Barcelona." replies the ex-trucker.
Somewhat taken aback but not to be put off the doctor moves on to the next bed where he can see some very energetic activity going on underneath the covers. On pulling them back he finds a man totally naked face down into the mattress.
"And what are you doing?" asks the doctor, a little perplexed.
"Well",pants the man, "While he's in Barcelona I'm f*****g his wife."

The plane was flying over African jungle when the engine failed. Its three passengers, one from England, one from Germany and one from France had to jump out of the plane with their parachutes. After a safe landing the started looking for civilisation, but unfortunately fell into the hands of the local cannibals. They were brought in front of the tribe leader. He looked at them and said:

- You again!

The [IYFEG] police is searching for masked gunmen who shot five [IYFEG] citizens. After two days of searching the [IYFEG] police has reached one conclusion: The gunmen have probably removed their masks!!!

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park.

The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they battled the blaze.

When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level.
He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved, and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him. He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures."

"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I am a photographer," he responded, "and photographers make photographs."

The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

Says a girl from junior high to her boyfriend:
"Do you want to come to my place tonight? Nobody at home!"
Of course he eagerly agrees, so at eight he rings the doorbell...
Guess again: nobody at home indeed!