KAREL'S CHEESE HOUSE

Q. What has four legs and an arm?
A. A happy pitbull!!!

Q. Why do you say Rex is a carpenter dog?
A. Last night, he made a bolt for the door.

Q. What do you do if a horny pitbull is humping your leg??
A. FAKE AN ORGASM!

Q. Two fleas were coming out of the movies, and it's raining very hard outside. One flea goes to the other, what are we going to do?
A. Should we walk or wait for a dog?

Q. What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat" ?
A. It's raining cats and dogs...

Q. How do you make a dog sound like a cat?
A. Freeze it and cut it in two with a chainsaw: "mmmmeeeeoooowwwww!"

Q. How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
A. Soak it in gasoline and throw a lit match on it: "woooof!"

My neighbor has a dog that is a snob. His name is Fido, but he spells it Phydeaux.

The reason the dog is known as man's best friend is probably because he gives no advice, never tries to borrow money, and has no In-Laws.

Two guys walkin' down the street. they see a dog lickin' it's nuts. first guy says, "gee, i wish i could do that". second guy says, " don't you think you should pet it first?"

Judith walked into her living room and saw her brother playing chess with their dog. "Amazing!" she sputtered. "This must be the smartest dog in the history of the world!" "He's not so smart," her brother mumbled. "I've beaten him three out of five games so far."

Two dog owners were bragging about the intelligence of their pets.

"The brightest dog I ever had," said one, "was a Great Dane that used to play cards. He was a whiz at poker, but finally a friend complained about him and I had him put to sleep."

"You had him put to sleep, a bright dog like that? A dog like that would be worth a million dollars."

"Had to", he replied, "Caught him using marked cards.

A blind man and his dog go into the supermarket and then the blind man takes his dog by the collar and starts to swing him around over his head, knocking things off the shelves. The manager comes up to the blind man and asks "excuse me sir, can I help you?" the blind man answers "no thanks, I'm just looking around".

Man and his friend meet on the golf course and decide to finish off the round together. The friend has a little dog with him and, on the next green when the friend holes out with a 20 foot putt, the little dog starts yipping and stands up on its hind legs. The Man is quite amazed at this clever trick of the dog's and says, "That dog is really talented! What does it do if you miss a putt??"
"Somersaults."
"Somersaults!!!!!! How many of them does it do?"
"Mmm, depends on how hard I kick it!"

A fire had broken out. The neighborhood kids watched as the fire truck pulled up. High on his usual perch sat the station mascot, a Dalmation. The youngsters wondered about the dog's function. One said, "He brings the firemen good luck."

A second said, "He keeps people away so they can work."

A third kid said, "You guys don't know anything. They use the dog to find the fireplug!"

A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram. He fills out a form on which he writes down the telegram he wishes to send: "Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow."

The clerk says, "You can add another 'Bow wow' for the same price."

"But," the dog responded, "wouldn't that sound a little silly?"