KAREL'S CHEESE HOUSE

One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom.
He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked, heavily into the act of lovemaking.
Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continue as if nothing was wrong.
Billy watches, and after a couple of minutes asks, "Daddy, can I climb on and have a horsie ride?"
"Of course, Son, we're a family."
So Billy climbs on and after a few more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly.
"Hang on Dad!", cries Billy, "this is where me and the mailman usually fall off!"

A woman was going to marry one of those guys that want a virgin.
Since she was not, she went to a doctor to reconstruct her hymen.
The doctor told her that will cost around $500, but there is an another way that will cost only $50.
The woman agreed to try the cheap way, payed the money, and the doctor worked on her for several minutes.
After the "first night" the woman came back to the doctor and told him that it was perfect. The pain, the blood, everything was there.
And she asked him how he did it.
"I tied your pubic hair," he answered.

There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred. So, he borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture. He told his son to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.
"OK, Pop." said the little boy.
After a while, the boy came into the living room where his father was talking with some friends. "Say, Pop", said the boy, "the bull just fucked the brown cow".
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said, "Excuse me" and took his son outside. "Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull surprised the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull surprises the white cow".
The father went back inside the house. After a while the boy came in and said, "Hey, Pop".
"Yes, Son. Did the bull surprise the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop! He fucked the brown cow again!"

There was this couple on The Newlywed Game and the man was asked where was the wierdest place they ever made "whoopie". And with confidence, the woman responds, "Got to be in the butt, Bob."

A guy is in a bus station, and goes into the men's room to piss.
When he walks in he sees a leprechaun with the most enormous dick he had ever seen. As he pees, he cannot avoid spying on the giant member of the tiny man dressed in green. The leprechaun zips up and the man asks him if he is indeed a real leprechaun.
The little man says, "Aye me boy, I'm a leprechaun, and I can grant you three wishes."
"Oh neat," comes the reply, "What do I need to do?"
"Well, havin' such a large cock makes it a bit awkward with the ladies, the thing not fittin' and all ... I'll grant you your three wishes if you wouldn't mind suckin' me dick until I come." The man is a bit taken aback, but agrees, because he knows he can wish for anything he wants later. After the green man has come, he starts to walk away.
The guy says, "Hey, what about my three wishes?" The leprechaun asks, "How old are you me boy?"
"25," he says.
"Aren't you a bit too old to still be believin' in leprechauns?"

A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."
"No problem! I'll write you a check!"
"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."
So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns.
The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?!
There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"
"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

Two women were walking down the street. One nudges the other and says, "There's my husband coming out of the florist's with a dozen roses. Damn!!
That means I'll have to keep my legs up in the air for three days!"
"Well, why don't you get a vase?"

"How would you like to come back to my place for a hamburger and some sex?"
"No!"
"What's the matter, you don't like hamburgers?"

It seems a teacher walked into the boy's bathroom and caught four boys having a contest to see who could pee highest on the wall.
The teacher was disgusted and took the boys to the Principal's office.
Later the teacher told an associate what had happened, and the associate asked her what the Principal's reaction was. She replied: "Well, he hit the ceiling!!!"

This Polish guy ordered a pizza with everything on it. When it came out of the oven, the guy asked him if he'd like it cut into four or eight pieces. "Make it four," said the Pole. "I'll never be able to eat eight."