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June 11

Settling


I miss Philadelphia already...and I miss my friends and my church. Most of all, I miss my father...desperately. I never thought I would feel that way again. I thought this summer would be perfect because I was getting away from all my troubles. I realize now that the place that once harbored my darkest problems has now become my refuge - the sanctuary I long to return to - and these places here: my apartment, the college, Hillsdale, Michigan ; these places, though I thought they would give me redemption from a life I wanted to leave behind, are not my home.

Things are settling down now. It's as if I've lived the passed through a great storm that lasted many years and have come out now into a new light. The roar of the tempest still echoes in my ears but the ring retreats back into my mind farther and farther. All around me the world seems fresh and dewy with new ideas. The flowers have begun to grow...

I suppose, it is up to me now to, by the grace of God, make something good out of this new world that I have found. I've had some help getting to where I am now and I suppose will continue to lean on the those shoulders in the future, but the real doing lies in my own hands.

For yesterday is but a memory
And tommorrow is only a vision,
But today well lived
Makes every yesterday a memory of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope,
Look well therefore to this day.

- a Sanskrit poem

My mailbox is always open.

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Notes:[8/12/97][8/13/97][8/18/97][8/29/97][9/5/97][11/22/97][5/3/98][4/19/99]



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Last updated: April 19, 1999