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Heidi Bingham

E-mail: LoveKids@concentric.net

Homepage: Cornerstone

Founder of The Militant Breastfeeding Cult

Heidi's Thoughts on Gentle Mothering

A Gentle Mother is not just a mother and she must achieve a balance in her roles. Gentle mothering speaks of a mother's heart, or attitude, toward her children, her husband, her job in the home, and her God! First and foremost a gentle mother must be open and responsive to God's leading through His Word and His Holy Spirit. She must understand and embrace her position as her husband's helpmeet and the keeper of her home. (This is not to exclude those Gentle Moms who are single for whatever reason. The intent is a mother who is walking cosely with God and following His will in her given circumstance.) And finally, a Gentle Mother has a soft heart and is loving and responsive to her children in the context of godly authority over them. She takes seriously her responsibility to "Train up a child in the way he should go" while keeping Malachi 4:6 in mind:
And he will turn
The hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers,
Lest I come and strike them with a curse.
This verse emphasizes the importance of how a parent thinks and feels about her children. As far as specifics, I do believe that certain aspects of mothering come from this attitude, such as responding promptly to a baby's cries and not forcing uncomfortable separation, but other aspects aren't as specific, such as schooling or discipline.

Gentle mothering is important because it speaks to the heart of God and what He wants for all of His children. It assures that both the good and bad moments of parenting are lived in a spirit of agape love.

I feel that God wants me to parent this way because it is in the best interest of my children, my family, the Christian church, and society, and as such, brings glory to Him!

Heidi's Testimony

My testimony isn't something I share much with others as it seems a bit silly and it's kind of personal. God used the death of a little pet bird to show me the depths of His love for me. But let me start earlier: I grew up in the Catholic church. I was taught that obeying the 10 Commandments and being good would get me to heaven. That was the goal, to go to heaven when I died, not to live for God and have a personal relationship with Jesus.

College was an intereting time in my life. In college, I served as an alter minister (I went to an all women's college, so there were no guys to serve). I took it pretty seriously at first, and always believed in God, but this belief was more of an acknowledgement of some big dude out there in heaven. I had no concept of the reality of Him in daily life, "Holy Spirit" was just something I said when I made the sign of the cross, and I certainly did not have a saving relationship with Jesus. I believed I was going to Heaven because I did good things (or at least didn't do things that were terribly bad). Obviously, this was not much to sustain me, so as I began to enjoy Saturday night parties (I wouldn't have qualified as a big partier, but still...), sleeping in on Sunday morning became more important than church.

By the time I graduated, with a degree in Chemistry, I was quite a liberal. I believed in and accepted a whole lot of things that were contrary to God's word. I was a feminist (mostly) and had my sights set on a career. I almost joined the Navy and went to Officer's Candidate School, but then Rich proposed to me.

We got married 9 months later and moved to Orlando, FL where Rich (a naval officer) attended Nuclear Power school. I was quite depressed most of the time there. I couldn't get much of a job becasue we were only assigned there for 6 months. I had a hard time meeting friends. But God, in His sovereignity, knew what He was doing. One of Rich's instructors made a habit of issuing invitations for all the wives to participate in a "stitching group" with his wife. In the 3 years that they were in FL, I was the only one to accept. So, I made a connection with a real Christian. This couple and some others they knew sort of tag-teamed us for a few months, inviting us to participate in activities and attend church with them. I couldn't figure out why as we seemed to have nothing in common. I found out later, they were praying for and witnessing to us. :-) Then I understood!

Rich was saved first and dragged me to church with him. I just hated it! I couldn't get out fast enough and after a couple of Sundays I flat out refused to go, denying the very existance of God.

At this time, he bought me a little grey cockatiel. I named her Perky. She was a sweet little thing and I really loved her. I'm not sure why, perhaps she wasn't quite ready to be on her own, but she quickly became sick and then died. I was crushed. I greived for several days over a bird I had scarecely had for a week. Then, one day, as I was driving to get Rich at school, I called out, "God help me." Did I really believe He would? No, of course not! I had no faith. I didn't even particularly believe He existed at that time. It was more of a cliche one uses when desperate. But suddenly, He was there with me! There was certainly nothing that I had done to cause Him to look upon me. My behavior and thoughts toward Him were reprehensible. I was stunned. He pulled me to Him with such an irresistable grace that I couldn't have told Him "no" and I didn't want to in light of that grace! What an incredible moment. All of a sudden I knew the truth, that there truly is an all powerful God, Creator of Heaven and earth, and for reasons known only to Him, He chose me to be his own and nothing in the world or in myself can change that! I belong to Him, now and forever.