So you want to know more about me, huh? Oh, where to begin, where to begin ...

i suppose i should start by saying that not everything i say about myself on this site is necessarily true. While i am not ashamed of who or what i am, unfortunately there are people out there who believe that people such as myself are deranged, or retarded, or deserve to be killed. Because of that, i do have to take some protection to make sure that i am not "discovered" by anyone. But i will make an effort to try to be as truthful as possible about myself and my current situation on my site, without creating too much of an opportunity for people to find out who i really am.

Just so we're clear from the start, i was born with the body of a man, but over a period of time i have discovered that inside i am, in fact, female. This discovery has been a very slow process for me, and one which i did not truly recognize until very recently. With the help of my sister in slavery, shevette, i am slowly taking the steps necessary for me to realize my true nature, and to determine which gender i truly am, and how best i can live in that gender.

Gender identification was never really that big in my life until very recently. While i certainly identified myself as male growing up, and did some of the things boys do when they're young, i could tell that deep down my nature was much more feminine than masculine. Other people reminded me of this fact as well, usually in hurtful, mean-spirited ways.

It wasn't really until the spring of 1999 when i finally began realizing what i was. i had been interested in bondage as a child, and after going on the net and reading about various fetishes, i began having fantasies about "forced womanhood," or being turned into a woman my a dominant figure. However, as time wore on, those feelings started seeping into my reality, and i began to realize just how much more comfortable it would be for me if i were to assume a totally female role, both internally and externally.

This is what led me to seek the advice of shevette, who i'd known previously from her bondage-related Website. While she does not claim to be an expert or an authority in helping people cope with switching gender, she is a good friend who always has time to listen to you babble on about anything and everything, and she's eager to help out in whatever way she can. In addition to acting as a confidante and advisor in my struggle to achieve true feminitity, she also helps me on more practical things, like learning how to apply makeup and practicing the womanly arts.

This site is hopefully going to be part of the learning process for me. In addition to helping me get straight in my mind what it is i really want, this site will also serve as a center for information as it relates to "the change" and other related issues. It is the hope of both shevette and myself that this site will eventually be a focal point for the transgendered community. In the beginning, i will probably need to take more than i give, in that i am still in need of specific information and counseling as it relates to the change i am undergoing. But as i make that change, i will be posting notes from myself, as well as links to articles from other people, and it is my hope that as i do so, this site starts to help people like myself who are making the change, and i can "give back" to the community.

i don't know as though this site will ever be the definitive transgendered site, but a girl's gotta have goals, right?

Anyway, without letting on too much, let me say that i'm in my early-middle twenties, and i live in the Midwest. i work for a computer company, though i also do some freelance work on the side. i'm fairly tall, almost too tall to "pass" as a woman, and i'm overweight though i am dieting now.

As far as where i currently stand in terms of making the transition, while i still live mostly as a man, i do dress and look androgynous. Slowly i'm adding makeup into my appearance, but i'm far from "made up" yet. i should be starting herbal hormone therapy soon, and eventually i hope to see a real doctor so i can begin taking full-strength hormones, and finally be referred for sexual reassignment surgery. More importantly, though, i am finally becoming able to identify myself as a woman, and when i look in the mirror i see a beautiful lady staring back at me.

So what do you think, sis? Anything i need to add here?

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