Doubts
By
Karen Fainges
Selene sat staring out into the darkness. Seated on a log at the edge of camp, she had escaped into her thoughts. She took a deep swig from a rapidly emptying wine skin. She had taken it from the camp pleading pain. The arrow wound in her side had been stitched, her teeth gritted against the needle's pull, but it still hurt. As sour as the cheap wine was, another swallow might join the red tide and wash away the hopelessness threatening to engulf her.
She drew her borrowed sword and held it before her. The moon's reflection showed the long red hair and pale skin of her mother's home in Brittania. Angling the blade she saw the muscle tone and scars that came from the hours of training with her father. Slaves freed from the Romans by her mother's healing touch and her father's strength of arms, they offered her the skills they thought would keep her free. Arguing which was strongest healing or fighting had filled many evenings. Selene had grown up learning both.
Bored with the farm life her parents had chosen, she had taken her hard won skills back to her father's homeland in Greece. She had made up her mind to have adventures like Jason and Hercules. And she had. She had met Argus and his companions and fought with them against evil Kings and monsters. She had walked with centaurs and satyrs.
It was just as she had imagined except for the groups' almost inherent distrust of the Gods. Never devout, Selene had always honoured the Gods as something from a world apart. She had taken the groups' almost off-hand comments as a joke, something not in the best taste but not to be taken seriously.
Now she knew better. The Gods had taken fire and healing from the world caring nothing for the people below Mt Olympus. Prometheus had stolen both from the Gods and gifted them to mortals. Hera had captured him and now the gifts were bound away too. The world was in turmoil. No fire, no heat, no healing. The slightest cut would remain forever. A sword or plough broken could not be fixed. All this was too much to grasp.
All Selene knew was that now she was useless. Worse than useless. Ares had been right. Without her ability to fight or heal, what could she offer to the group or to the hundreds of frightened people out there looking for someone to tell them things would be all right? She had even lost her father's trident. Mangled beneath the belly of a giant snake, the weapon could not be fixed while fire was gone from the world. She was weaponless, unable to help. She took another swig of wine and hid the self-loathing she felt in a grimace at the sour taste.
Ares, the God of her father had driven the point home. When he had appeared, she had been cowed, almost dropping to her knees to honour the God. The others had treated him like a nuisance at best. But they had been forced to acknowledge that he made sense. With fire and healing gone from the world, the people would panic. They would need a strong leader one who would stop the panic and hold them together until Prometheus' bonds could be broken.
Argus could be that leader. Wielding the Sword of Might he could enforce a peace through arms. Selene with a wound in her side would be a liability. Unable to heal the wound and hold her own in a fight, Ares had pronounced her suitable only as a concubine. The horror of slavery instilled in her since birth had bubbled to the surface as a pride that refused to let her bow to his wishes. Ares had broken her legs to bring her to her knees. He had healed the breaks but the pain was still there. But the pain was nothing compared to the knowledge that the Gods were merely powerful brats.
Argus had told her she must learn to bow to the will of the Gods. He had laughed at Ares suggestion of taking her as a body slave. The laughter still rang in her ears. If Ares was right about protecting the people, maybe he was right about her too. She winced as she shifted in her seat. No weapon, no healing, she was nothing. She looked down at her feet. There lay the twisted, broken remains of her father's trident. She felt the sting of tears and tried to pretend the pain in her side and legs caused them. Everything had changed and she could do nothing but sit, stare at the stars and drink.