She walks to the base of the wall and crouches down, looking at a bouquet left by a visitor. With a look of sadness and contemplation, she picks up a wilted, red, rose petal and holds it in her hand. Scully asks Mulder why she doesn't have a desk. A bit non-plussed, Mulder points to the darkened reaches of the office and says, "I always assumed that was your area." "Do what you want. Don't go to Philadelphia. but let me remind you that I worked my ass off to get these files reopened. You were just assigned. This work is my life." Scully points out that it's become hers to which Mulder replies, "You don't want it to be?" I feel like I've lost sight of myself, Mulder. We're going in an endless line. Two steps forward and three steps back. While my own life is...standing still. S: I did as told, as always. M: Just hold off until I get there, okay? S: What, you don't think I'm capable? M: Of course I believe that you're capable. It's just that in this case... S: It's not just in this case, Mulder. S: Look Mulder, I have to go. M: (laughing) What, you got a date or something? [a pissed Scully offers no reply] You're kidding? S: I have everything under control. I will talk to you later. During drinks and conversation with Ed (who is a good listener), she explains how her life has always been her going around in this circle. An authoritative or controlling figure comes into her life. Part of her "likes it, needs it, wants the approval", but part of her wants to rebel. Her father was the first of these men and Mulder seems to be her current "father". The ink used on both of their tattoos was made from a type of rye that was contaminated with a fungus leading to parasitic ergotism. The symptoms are auditory and psychotic hallucinations. When Scully returns to the office, she is cut and bruised but recovering from the effects of the drug in her system. Mulder, in his continuing search for compassion in this episode, says, "Congratulations for making a personal appearance in the X-Files for the second time. It's a world's record." Mulder sighs heavily and says in confusion, "All this because I didn't get you a desk?" This finally gets Scully's attention and she looks silently at Mulder. S: Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life. M: Yes, but it's...

Never Again Despite the order of the airing, "Never Again"was filmed, and intended to air, prior to "Leonard Betts". Due to programming changes, "Leonard Betts"aired first. Because of this, Scully's actions were judged by some to be a consequence of her realization that she had cancer. This was never the intent of Morgan and Wong. Scully has reason enough to question her life and work and feel the need to draw a line for herself and define herself without the revelation of her illness. Mulder and Scully are meeting at the Vietnam War Memorial with a Russian informant who tells a tale of a base, minefield, silent explosions, and black limousines with no door handles. To a distracted Scully it sounds like a story cobbled from a paranoid mind and her attention drifts to the monument. She walks to the base of the wall and crouches down, looking at a bouquet left by a visitor. With a look of sadness and contemplation, she picks up a wilted, red, rose petal and holds it in her hand. The next day when Mulder comes into the basement office, he finds Scully sitting behind his desk holding his nameplate in her hands. This makes no impact on him though since he is too busy listening to the sound of his own voice as he complains of the forced vacation time he must take to keep accounting from docking his vacation hours. In mid-sentence, he hands her a stack of files telling her she can keep an eye on things while he's gone. In a grand non-sequitur, Scully asks Mulder why she doesn't have a desk. A bit non-plussed, Mulder points to the darkened reaches of the office and says, "I always assumed that was your area." He makes a crack about getting a desk and cramming it into the office face-to-face with his so they can play Battleship. Scully changes tack again and asks what he wants her to keep an eye on. Mulder launches into the case regarding the informant from the night before. He has a list of names for her to check on and an assignment to go to Philadelphia to check things out. He also takes the opportunity to point out how she abandoned him during the questioning the previous night. He seems oblivious to Scully's mood as he throws more sarcasm her way. Scully questions the validity of the informant and his claims. But as Mulder rattles on, she makes her position clear by saying, "I'm not going." Mulder laugh disbelievingly and says, "What do you mean?" Scully draws a picture for him by comparing his case with an episode of "Rocky and Bullwinkle". Mulder comments on her reasons for "refusing an assignment"and Scully comes back with the observation that his wording makes it sound like he's her superior. "Do what you want. Don't go to Philadelphia. but let me remind you that I worked my ass off to get these files reopened. You were just assigned. This work is my life." Scully points out that it's become hers to which Mulder replies, "You don't want it to be?" Scully goes on, "This isn't about you. Oh, maybe it is indirectly. I don't know. I feel like I've lost sight of myself, Mulder. We're going in an endless line. Two steps forward and three steps back. While my own life is...standing still." Mulder says that maybe it's good that they get away from each other for awhile. Scully asks where Mulder will be and he says it's personal. He's off on his spiritual journey (to Graceland) to discover something about himself. He tells Scully, "Maybe you should do the same." From her pocket, Scully pulls the dried rose petal she picked up the night before. Turning it over in her hand, she sets it on the desktop. Scully goes to Philadelphia, against MY better judgment, and quickly discovers that the case is not an X-File. While following a suspect into a tattoo parlor, she runs into one Ed Jerse. He appears to be a nice guy and even offers to take Scully to dinner, show her the town. She says she'd love to...but she can't. He gives her his number in case she's ever in town again. Seems harmless, and it's nice to see our lovely agent get some well-deserved attention from the opposite sex. That evening, as Scully sits on the bed in her hotel room typing up a a case report, Mulder calls to check up on her. She asks how he know where she was and he says he checked where they always stay when they're on cases there. "I knew you wouldn't abandon me,"he says. She tells him she's turned the case over to the Philadelphia bureau, that there is no X-File. She says his informant is a common swindler and Mulder says, "How do you know?" She tells him she did the background check he assigned. "I did as told, as always." M: Just hold off until I get there, okay? S: What, you don't think I'm capable? M: Of course I believe that you're capable. It's just that in this case... S: It's not just in this case, Mulder. He continues to press the point and she says, "It is over, done. [He's] out of our hands." S: Look Mulder, I have to go. M: (laughing) What, you got a date or something? [a pissed Scully offers no reply] You're kidding? S: I have everything under control. I will talk to you later. Unfortunately, Mulder's attitude gives Scully the impetus to phone Ed Jerse and take him up on his offer for dinner. This would be a good thing if it wasn't that Ed and his tattoo, Betty, are the real X-File in this episode. I'm not going to go into the specifics of the X-File itself other than how it impacts the Scully story. During drinks and conversation with Ed (who is a good listener), she explains how her life has always been her going around in this circle. An authoritative or controlling figure comes into her life. Part of her "likes it, needs it, wants the approval", but part of her wants to rebel. Her father was the first of these men and Mulder seems to be her current "father". Ed tells her he marked a moment in his life with a tattoo and Scully decides to do the same, choosing the ouroboros to symbolize the cyclical nature of her life. What she and Ed don't know is that the ink used on both of their tattoos was made from a type of rye that was contaminated with a fungus leading to parasitic ergotism. The symptoms are auditory and psychotic hallucinations. The symptoms have progressed much further in Ed and when Scully tries to encourage him to seek help, he flies into a rage spurred on by his hallucinations. He batters Scully pretty good, almost killing her, but she manages to talk him down and extricate herself from the situation. She's alive, but she is the worse for wear and has indeed "learned something"on her trip. When Scully returns to the office, she is cut and bruised but recovering from the effects of the drug in her system. Mulder, in his continuing search for compassion in this episode, says, "Congratulations for making a personal appearance in the X-Files for the second time. It's a world's record." Scully does not smile or comment. Mulder babbles on about Ed Jerse and the Russian case he originally sent Scully to Philadelphia to investigate, adding a crack about getting a tattoo on his butt. It suddenly seems to sink in that Scully has said NOTHING since she left the threshold of the doorway and lowered herself slowly into the chair opposite his desk. Seemingly paying little mind to Mulder's prattling on, Scully reaches over and picks up the rose petal that still sits on Mulder's desk, turning it over slowly in her hand. Trying a new tack, Mulder heads to his file cabinet to pull a new case. Mid-way through his explanation (and Scully's silence), Mulder sighs heavily and says in confusion, "All this because I didn't get you a desk?" This finally gets Scully's attention and she looks silently at Mulder. S: Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life. M: Yes, but it's... She looks at him inquisitively. He bites off the end of the sentence and never completes it. In silence, the two of them sit on their respective sides of the desk with Mulder's unfinished sentence hanging in the air between them.