20 Things That Never Happen in "Star Trek"

1. The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less 
	advanced people and decides to blow it off and go fishing.

2. Commander Riker and Geordi decide to pull a practical joke 
	on Wesley and beam him into the women's gymnasium 
	shower room.

3. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, 
	and gets hopelessly lost in the wrong star system.

4. The crew of the Next Generation sit around for an entire 
	episode and watch reruns of the original Star Trek.

5. Data gets too close to a hair-dryer and spends an entire 
	episode walking around flashing a well known Vulcan hand 
	sign and saying "live long and prosper".

6. The Enterprise crew is captured by a vastly superior alien 
	intelligence which puts them in a galactic cubby hole and 
	forgets about them.

7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place 
	to another without his luggage.

8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to 
	interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to be destroyed 
	because it is the wrong polarity.

9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed 
	as a	faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent 
	engineering staff. The part however has not been available 
	for 200 years.

10. Over a period of two months, the entire crew of the Enterprise 
	become infected with genital warts.

11. The Enterprise encounters a vastly inferior alien intelligence, 
	which they spend an entire episode belittling and embarrassing.

12. The Enterprise breaks down in deep space and has to be towed 
	back to a star base by a garbage scow.

13. Guinan reveals that on her home planet, all she ever did was 
	work at a Mcdonalds.

14. The Enterprise develops a bad case of 'space rust' and spends 
	most of an episode at drydock with painters wondering how 
	to get the paint to dry in outer space.

15. Captain Picard walks off the job for most of an episode in a 
	dispute over vacation and medical benefits.

16. Dr. Crusher receives a letter lost in the mail for 15 years 
	from her late husband telling her he has been having an affair 
	and is leaving her.

17. The warp engines start acting up a bit, and Geordi gets blown 
	to bits when he drops his visor in an engine while fixing it.

18. Wesley Crusher goes on a weekend jaunt with 'The Traveler' 
	and comes back 40 years older.

19. Counselor Troi tells Worf that he really is an evil rotten person 
	deepinside.

20. Data falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and stays 
	behind to get married and raise a family.



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