TOP TEN SCENES WE PROBABLY WON'T SEE IN STAR TREK IX 
EVEN THOUGH IT'S THE NEW "FUNNY, SEXY" TREK MOVIE:

10.  On a bet, Quark plays matchmaker for Morn and Guinan only to 
	have them fall madly in love.

9.  Picard and Crusher in a spirited game of strip-3D-chess.

8.  Beach Blanket Parrises' Squares

7.  Kira and Odo try for a romantic getaway on Orion and end up painting
	themselves green and trying to pass themselves off as slave girls.

6.  Worf and Dax' marriage is threatened when he becomes obsessed 
	with an archaic Earth device called "Tetris."

5.  Harry Kim found dead in his quarters covered in mule hoofprints and
	chocolate jimmies.

4.  Troi replaces Riker with the Ultra-Vibe Pleasure 2000.

3.  Tuvok drops acid and throws himself at Janeway, hollering 
	"Pon Farrrrrrr-Out!"

2.  Data finally admits his secret attraction for Admiral Necheyev 
	and begs her to spank him, he's a bad android.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SCENE WE WON'T SEE IN STAR TREK IX:

1.  Wesley Crusher, Dabo Boy.



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