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Courtroom Bloopers Continued

Q: When is the last time that you lived with her or had sexual relations with her or had anything to do with her with the intention of being man and wife in your mind?
Geri Halma, Newton, N.C.

Q: Would you say that you feel that you made a significant contribution to the marriage by supporting the household while your husband worked in the business?
A: I felt I did, yes. I felt I looked after him. I washed his clothes. he never had to look for a clean shirt. I worked full time outside of the home all the time. I made his breakfast. I washed the dishes. I kept the house tidy. when our house was up on blocks and there was mud everywhere, I went to work every single day and I brought home water every night and heated it up on the stove for his bath. He got his coffee on thime. He'd drink, eat, and burp and go out.

Q: Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
- H. E. (Jack) Dennis, Dover, Col.

Q: What if your relationship with the plaintiff?
A: She is my daughter.
Q: Was she your daughter on Februaruy 13, 1979?
-Cathy A. Singer, Vallejo, Cal.

Q: And who is this person you are speaking of?
A: My ex-widow said it
-Earl E. Paul, Clearwater, Fla
Q: Are you the husband of the defendants? I mean of the plaintiff?
A: I'm the wife.
-Lloyd E. Mutinsky, Sweet home, Ore.

Q: Mr. Pennyfeather, are you the father of Clarence Andrew Pennyfeather?
A: No.
Q: Do you know who the father is?
A: Yes, Virgil Parsons is the father.
Q: Tell us how Virgil Parsons happens to be that father of that child
Thomas G. Bailey, Coquille, Ore

Q: Did you stop looking for work then?
A: Yes, befause at the end of December I developed a rather lengthy flu that turned out to be pregnancy
-Ben Rogner, chicago, il.

Q: Why were you under that chiropractor's care?
A: I went there because I was pregnant and having a lot of mornign sickness and was told by someone that that was due to possibly a spine misalignment
-Jan Hunnicutt, Santa Rosa, Calid

Q: How did you happen to go to Dr. Cheney?
A: Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr Cheney, and she said he was really good.
-Paul R. Tomave, Spring Lake, MI

Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are righ now?
A: I will be three months November 8th.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you and your husband doing at that time?
-Olivene S. Longino, Kansas City, Mo.

Q: Do you presently have any hcildren?
A: Well, my wife is expecting in about a month
Q: And what is its name?
-karen D. Schoeve, Lafayette, Col.

Q: I knew William A. Larsen in his lifetime and for many years prior thereto
-Dean C. Olsen, Ogden, Utah

Q: Tim, did you ever hear me and my brother talk about mining before, years ago, maybe before you was born or anything like that?
A: :Yeah.
-Nathan F Perkins, London, Ky

Q: And approximately when was that statement made?
A: About two weeks before she went to the hosital [sic?].
Q: Before her final death?
A: Yes
- Diane Kendy, L.A., Cal

Q: And what did he do then?
A: He came home, and the next morning he was dead.
Q: So when he woke up the next moring he was dead?
-Ray E. Childers, Marietta, Ga.

Q: Before this happened, had he just ompleted his education ther in Oklahoma City?
A: You mean before his death?
-Rebecca Brandon, Oklahoma City, Okla

Q: Were you acquainted with the decedent?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Before or after he died?
- H. E. (Jack) Dennis, Denver, Col

A: She called me up and said she was going to shoot herslef, that she was going to kill herself, which she had done in the past praobably 500 times.
- IN BRIEF (Oregon)

Q: Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
A: Four times.
-Anita Wilson, Abilene, Tex

Q: Have you had any injuries to your head?
A: None fatal.
-Jan Hunnicutt, Santa Rosa, Calif

Q: Did you ever go to Mercy Hospital before she passed away last time?
-Cindy G. Dugas Affinati, Watertown, N.Y.

Q: Doctor how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies have been on dead people.
-Dennis D. Steiner, Reno, Nev

Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edgington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edgington was dead at that time, is that correect?
A: No, you dumb asshole. He was sitting there on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

The Court: You were on a jury before?
A: Yes, your Honor, and we were taken to the hotel while we were deliberating, and we were all seduced in the hotel.
The Court: You were what?
A: We were seduced in the hotel.
The Court: Do you mean sequestered?
A: That's the word!
Jerome Oppenheimer, Bronx, N.Y.

Q: Have you ever served on a jury before?
J: Well, you say I served. I was hung on a jury. I was locked up for two days
Q: I take it by that time you had heard all the evidence, but the jury couldn't decide.
J: No, sir. I was the first juror selected, and I was locked up by myself for two days. And then the boy pleaded guilty, and I was turned loose.
-Ann M. Rader, Houston TX

J: Judge, I would like to be excused from the jury because my wife is about to become pregnant.
Q: Judge, he doesn't mean his wife is about to become pregnange; he means she is about to deliever.
J: You are excused. In either event he should be present.
Roselyn Kocher, Winamac, Ind.

L1: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
L2: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
-Carol H. Kusinitz, marblehead, Mass

DA: Kill that last quesion
DA: I'm going to obeject to taht last staement by the witness...and ask that it be struck from the wittnes
-Edna Hipp, Houston, TX

Q: I take exception to your Honor's ruling.
The court: Don't argue with me when I make a ruling. If you want to argue, ask my permission.
Q: May I argue, your Honor>
The Court: No, you may not.
- William Boniface, Staten Island

Lawyer 1: I'm going to object on that basis further that in January when I sat in on some of these depositions, you were going over the same ground, and you have plowed the field too many times.
Lawyer 2: I havene't grown anything yet, though. I've sowed but I haven't reaped.
Lawyer 3: I'll say this, it's been well fertilized.
-Daniel Helfant, pheonix, Ariz

Q: Your Honor, I would like to strike the next question.
-Jerry Von Sternberg, Houston, TX

Q: Now, Officer, besides the flushed face, the weaving motion, the staggering gait, and the odor of alcohol emitting from his breath, did you notice anything else unusual about the defendant before you arrested him?
A: Yes. His speech was slick and third--or sick and furled--or, I mean, he was very incoherent.
Q: I understand
- Alice M. Moell, Van Nuys, CA

Q: Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
A: Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words
-Dana Lee McGrath, Sacramento, CA

Q: Do you drink?
A: Yes. Well, not at the moment. I've been sober now for going on three years, but before that I used to drink fluently.

Q: Now, how would you characterize the nature of the odor of the alcohol on his breath?
A: I would list it as a moderate odor.
Q: How do you determine "moderate"?
A: To me, moderate is basically as I'm sitting here I can smell it, not overpowered by it. Light would be where I would have the person blow, get real close and blow on me. And strong is one where you stand there and go, "Oh."
Q: That's when you start getting high on their breath?
A: Yes
-Mary Lee Morgan, Fresno, CA

Q: If a police officer smells alcohol on any of the drivers or passengers in a car accident's breath. . .
-BALOONEWS (New Mexico)

Q: Has there been a change in his appetite?
A: Yes. He don't eat well, either.
-Lynn Brooks, Dallas, TX

Q: Doctor, what treatment did you give this man?
A: I cleansed the wound, sutured it, and put him to bed with a nurse.
-H.E. (Jack) Dennis, Denver, CO

Q: What's her physical condition now?
A: Well, age mostly.
-Peggy Canterbury, Tuscaloosa, AL (transciber)

Q: So after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Q: It was covered?
A: Yes, bandaged.
Q: Then later on, when you first observed it, what did you see?
A: I had skin graft. My whole buttocks and my leg were removed and put on top of my head.
-Edward Grant, New York, N.Y.

Q: That was the last hospitalization?
A: Until just a couple of weeks ago, again for a few days one long spell when she went form Novemebner 1980 to - what? - June of 1982 without any hospitalization, which was a milestone for her. This last hospitalization we think seh overdosed on liverwurst.
Q: What?
A: Liverwurst. She went on liverwurst. i think - I think the salt is what caused the pulmonary edema. She was doing well and continues to since this history. She's off liverworst now.
-Carol Rakela, Sacramento, CA

Q: And then you left the store with the ambulance attendants on a stretcher, right?
A: Yeah.
-Jan Hunnicutt, Santa Rosa CA

Q: Did you see any other doctors at that time?
A: Yes, the neck doctor I went to was a Dr. Lowell.
Q: Is that the first name or last name?
A: Last name. I don't know his first name. Doctor is his first name.
-Janet McMillan, Englewood CO

Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me"
Q: Did he kill you?
A: No
-Nancy M. Dosemagen, milwaukee, WI

Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there has been a victim?
-richard Lotrek (notereader), Natick, MA

Q: And how many people did you see get out of the car after the accident?
A: Three.
Q: Were they male, female, or what?
-Gloria Schaffzin, Suffern, NY

Q: Did you give your ticket to someone?
A: Yes.
Q: And do you remember who that person was?
A: As I recall, it might have been somebody with a beard.
Q: Do you remember if it was a man or a women?
-Mary lee Morgan, Fresno, CA

Q: If the car went up the hill at 50 miles and hour, coming down how far would it have to go bfore it hit 50 miles an hour? True or false?

Q: Were you alone in the car?
A: Yes.
Q: Were you driving?
-Doris L. Camden, Warsaw, IN

Q: Were people jsut standing aroudn talking with their cocktails?
-The Blank Space (WA)

Q: At any period of time when you lost consiousness or don't remembre what happened, did you see the car change direccion or speed?
-Florence M. Foster, Philadelphia, PA

Q: Now, I'm going to show you what has been marked as State's Exhibit No. 2 and ask if you recognize taht picture.
A: John Smith.
Q: That's you?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: And you were present when that picture was taken, right>
-David R. Palmer, Ocala, FL

Q: Each year, how many moneys do you averagely receive?

Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
-C. Ray Beebe, Honolulu (HA)

Q: Were you in the courtroom this morning whe you were sworn in?
-Jeannine Harmon, Alva, OK

Q: You don't know what it was, and you don't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
A: No.
-Anita Marlin, North Hollywood, CA

Q: How far from the chair were you when it hit you?
-H.L. Johnson, Melbourne, Australia

Q: You head the entire converstaion beween the lady and the officer?
A: I can't say I heard every word,no.
Q: How much of it did you miss?
Dianna L. Williams, Lodi CA

Q: Did you tell the Subler doctor the same thing as you told the Smith Transfer doctor as you told the Subler doctor the first time when you has your second Subler physical?
A: Did I tell him what?
-Valerie J. Viers, Springfield, OH

Q: How long have you actively been engaged in the oil business?
A: That long, possibly a little before that. Since I graduated from college.
Q: Did you attend college?
Barbara Cash, Paris, IL

Q: At the time you first saw Dr. McCarty, had you ever seen him prior to that time?
-BALOONEWS (New Mexico)

Q: You remember that no one was touching her?
A: That's right.
Q: Who is that no one that wasn't touching her?
A: I don't know
-Rosemary Aitken, Alberta, Canada

Q: Do you solemny swear that the testimony you are about to give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
A: I'll try

Q: What does "industriousness" mean to you?
A: Well, that's when you run around with other women and have sex with other women, stuff like that.
Q: I see. Are you able to read and write?
A: Not too good.
[another wittness in the same case:]
Q: What does the word "morality" mean to you?
A: Well, this is the same thing to me, that I should keep my morale up along with other people, and keep their morale up also.
-Cynthia L. Coole, Olathe, KA

Q: Could you describe the traffic signals at the intersection of Rhawn and Castor Avenues?
A: I remember the traffic light passng us was green
-Jennifer Huddleston, Willow Grove, PA

Q: And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: How old are you?
A: Oral.
-Maryann Peronti, Union NJ

Q: Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?
A: Yes.
Q: What will happen?
A: I will be punished
Q: Who will punish you?
A: The Lord. Not you [pointing at his lordship]; the other one [ pointing up].

Q: Wwhat are the Ten Commandments? What do you think the Ten Commandments are?
A: Not to kill.
Q: What else?
A: Not to swear.
Q: O.K., that's good. What else?
A: Not to cover up your neighbor
-Vicki brom, Juneau, WI

Q: Do you have children?
A: Yes, five-year-old twins, a boy and a girl.
Q: Do you also have a dog?
A: Yes.
Q: Has the dog ever bitten the children?
A: No. The children bite the dog.
-Marian E. Soelle, Kankakee IL

Q: The dogs that you're talking about, can you describe them for the court?
A: I will try to. One older dog, 13 to 14 years old, of medium size, being an Alaskan something or other.
Court: I think we want more like color-
A: The other, younger, dog was of smaller size. And I don't know the breed of that younger dog; two years old, possibly.
Q: You know it's tow years old because you've watched them grow up or something?
A: Yes.
Q: The bigger dog is what, the height of my knee?
A: I can't see your knee.
Q: Is it taller or shorter than my knee?
A: Let's see your knee again.
Court: I don't know; to your knees? How about inches?
A: If there was a hair on your knee--
Q: How many inches?
Court: In an effort to save time, how tall is it in inches? How tall is the older one?
A: Can I do it like a fish?
Court: If you do it like a fish, ti will probably wind up being seven feet tall.
A: That big and about that long.
Court: About two feet tall?
A: That dog is now dead.
Q: It's dead?
A: Yes, now.
Court: O.K. Not barking very much, then, right?
Q: And the shorter dog -
A: Is smaller.
Q: Your primary complaing, as I understand it, was with the big dog who's now deceased?
A: Now deceased.

Q: Wasn't this dog your favorite dog? Werent you the favoite of this dog?
A: He never specified that. He never related that to me.
- Marilyn Holmes, Providence RI

Q: Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A: No.
Q: What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A: Picking them up in the air.
Q: Where was the dog at this time?
A: Attached to the ears.
-Lon Asmann, Duluth MN

Q: And how did you know the policeman wasn't a dog?
-D.J. Johnson, in LOCUS STANDI (Canada)

Q: What was your next job?
A: I was a peel prep operator
Q: What would a peel prep operater do?
A: He prepares the peel. The peel prep operator prepares the peel.
-Patricia Bargo Held, Vero Beach FL

Q: Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No. THis is how I dress when I go to work.
Beverly Maisch San Fransisco CA

Q: How were you dressed?
A: I had on a housedress.
Q: What material was it made out of, if anything?
Mildred C. Howell, Roanoke Rapids NC

Q: If you have a feeling, or if you have a memory of something that could have been, but you need to qualify it, you can go ahead and tell him. Bud don't speculate at all.
-Edward P. Midgley, Salt Lsake City UT

Q: Could that be based on real symptoms, or would it be malingering, or both?
A: It may be both. And we do have a phrase in the orthopedic community, "green poultice treatment."
Q: What is that?
A: "Green poultice treatment": the pain will go away once a green poultice, or a stack of money, is placed over the injury.

Defendant questioning robbery victim: And could you see my face clearly when I handed you the note?
-ONE AT A TIME (Los Angeles)

The Court: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.

Q: What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of this defendent?
A: Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that son of a bithc- and she did.
-Josephine L. Seila, Lenoir, NC

Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?
A: I could see his head/
Q: And where was his head?
A: Just above his shoulders.
-Ted Rewak, Allentown PA

Q: Did you have your headlights on?
A: Yes, I did.
Q: Were you doing anything that was distrating: listening to the radio, talking, foolin around?
A: Nothing. That's one reason I was going home, she wouldn't let me fool around.
-Paul R. Tomhave, Spring Lake MI

Q: How do you mean, counseling? Why kind of counseling have you done?
A: When someone neters into the world of disabiliyg, they do not have the rules. They don't know ofttimes what is going to happen, what is happening, what frustrations, anxieties they are going throught. And part of my role in rehabilitation is to alleviate the negative-stress foundations that impinge upon the person as these various forces restrict the person.
Q: Did I ever tell you about the Peruvian yak? The peruvian yak is a strnage animal, becasue when it is corned by its enemies, its only defense mechanism is to throw up on them. And I think you have done that to me: the Peruvian yak job.
-Kelli A. pennington, Miami FL

Mr. Speer: Mr. Patton, if and when this transcipt is written up, you have a right to read it over to insure that the reporter has correctly taken down the uestions asked and the answers given, or you can waive that and rely upon him ot do his job correctly.
Witness: Well, he's bigger than I am. I'm not going to tell him he's not doing his job.
- Gary L. Sonntag, Wheaton IL

Q: Did it bother you taht you didn't have a girlfriend during that year?
A: No. I just went down to the local massage parlors. You said to be truthful.
-Jan Hunnicutt, Santa Rosa CA

Lawyer: Also, your HOnor, I have made efforts to contact the alleged father, who lives in the alleged state of Wisonsin.
-David Moore, Fort Worth TX

Military Justice:

Judge: Welcome back to Germany, Captain A. I understand you have been back to the States and have returned for this trial?
Counsel: Yes, your Honor, except it is my understanding that this is Korea.

Q: You're not working for [the accused], are you?
A: No, sir.
Q: I mean, he hasn't paid you off to come in here and lie for him, has he?
A: No, sir. He doesn't make that kind of money.

Q: Do you drink on duty?
A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

Q: Do you recall committing any of these offenses?
A: No, sir, that alcohol just disengages my brain.

Go to Part 3

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