- "Well, I never thought I'd hear this from you. My best friend bored of all my deaths. They don't seem to be bored everytime I'm on the Arsenio Hall show, but you don't want to hear about it."
- "I wouldn't be bored, I'd be concerned. I'd be concerned about your cholesterol level."
- "I can't believe you're acquainting my returning from the dead with chicken salad sandwiches! What is this freaky obsesion you have with chicken salad anyway? It's beginning to scare me."
- "Yes, I'm dead again. Now this is neat."
- "Come on, this doesn't impress you? I've never been a ghost before."
- "I'd let him beat me up. Oh, then I'd let the guilt tear him apart."
- "I'd get my mom to do it."
- "Tonight we dive into the diseased human mind. Join me the grey matter is warm."
- "Within each of us are several personalities. For example are we the same person talking to our parents as we are when we haggle with a prostitute?"
- "Danny, I'm killing my eyes."
- "Kill Danny."
- "So says you."
- "I'm not gay. Then again, I didn't use to like asparagus."
- "Oh the spinkler, oh the water, oh the fire, oh my hip!"
- "Where were our heads?!"
- "Here's thirty-three cents for Mr. Funny!"
- "DO ME!!"
- "The beardstays, you go!"
- "Stop it! Stop it! I'll kill you with my own stump."
- "He tried to come on to me."
- "Oh my God! She's really close to Mr. Bilbo."
- "Now we're cookin' with evil gas."
- "Good evening...and welcome to the pit of pen-ultimate darkness. Apparently there's a pit slightly darker than ours."
- "You're not getting dollar one, you ugly man!"
- "Hey, I'm a Canadian Street Pimp!"
- "Well, you know, it started off innocently enough...flattery. I would complement the jacket I was wearing, or say 'nice cologne' to myself. But soon after that I'd be at the water cooler and, uh, I would start to play with my hair. Oh, I'd try to laugh it off, pretend that nothing was happening, but that semmed only to encourage me."
- "No, sweet Jesus, i wish it did. I would, uh, rub against myself on elevators, stare down my top using a mirror, and always, always the suggestive comments. then one day, I was in the washroom and-*to my horror*-I found that I was fondling myself."
- "I want me! I hate me! I want me! I hate me! I want me!"
- "Evil, still evil after all those years, hecubus the evil one."
- "Tony Henderson, you've been made a fool by the forces of darkness."
- "Tony Henderson, please stop giggling, now you are a chicken!"
That's all for now! Check back for more quotes later!
