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“Why were those girls chasing ME?!” Nick’s laughter only got louder.
“Jenny. You won the contest remember? It was announced that you were the winner on national television. Every girl in the country that wanted to win probably has your face lodged in their memory so they can kill you at first sight!” he answered with an exasperated expression. Doesn’t she know who we are? he thought to himself. And then he had to shake his head at himself. He knew she wasn’t a fan, and because of that it was very likely she didn’t know how big they were.
Jenny stared in horror at Brian after what he had said. Maybe agreeing to this wasn’t safe, she admitted to herself, certainly not for the first time. Then she saw Brian’s smile. He was jesting. She should have known it. Her look of horror changed to an incredulous one.
“They don’t want me dead! You’re lying!”
Brian only shrugged. Nick’s elbow nudged her due to his shaking from laughter. She turned intending to glare at him again, but stopped when she saw his eyes. They had such a kindness to them. She smiled instead.
*DING*
“Here we are: floor number four. Let’s see, Brian, you and I get 458 and 460. They’re adjoining. AJ and Howie. You guys will get numbers 454 and 456, which are also adjoining. Nick and Jenny can take the adjoining rooms, 455 and 457, across the hall. I think our rooms are at the opposite end of the hall. Let’s go…” after giving everyone their room assignments, Kevin stepped out of the elevator, heading for his room. The other Backstreet Boys followed after him, leaving a stricken Jenny left standing in the elevator.
“I will not be in an adjoining room to anyone!” she shouted the demand before thinking. She had been so shocked at the thought of any male having access to the room she slept in that Jenny was stripped of all other rational thinking. All five guys stopped and just stared back at her. Jenny knew she was blushing red when she felt that recently frequent burning sensation in her cheeks. She wasn’t feeling very brave at the moment, and she was certainly feeling alone, but she was not going to stand down. This was a fight she had to win.
“In heavens, why?!” Howie asked the question they were all wondering.
“Well, I… you're all… you see…” she knew she was making a muck of things and decided to plead with her eyes instead of her mouth. AJ didn’t take the hint.
“Is it Nick?”
“And what’s that sah’posed ta mean?!” Nick wondered aloud, obviously outraged.
“What’s the problem with rooming next to someone? It’s not like Nick will be in your room,” Kevin added, hoping to persuade her.
“Or maybe he will…” AJ muttered. Nick turned stark white upon hearing the mumble. They all looked to Jenny. A collective sigh of relief sounded when the five guys noticed that she appeared only confused, proving to them that she hadn’t heard AJ.
Mental note to self, Nick thought, include AJ in the sauna plan for Howie. At the thought of both of them in his trap, Nick smiled again. Kevin and Howie gave him a look of disbelief. AJ and Brian grinned. They all believed Nick was smiling for quite a different reason.
Jenny stared from one Boy to the next, not sure of what they were thinking. She was sure of one thing, however. She did not enjoy being the center of attention. Starting toward them, she held out her hand to Kevin.
“My key?” He handed it to her without thinking.
“So ya’re roomin’ nexta Nick?” Howie inquired.
“Where else do you suppose I’d sleep?
Howie shrugged as Jenny scooted around the group and made her way to her room. Nick was about to go following after her when he and the guys were intercepted by a small group of fans. Each held a CD, or a shirt, or even a picture, hoping to have it autographed. As much as he wanted to ignore them and go chasing Jenny down to see what was wrong, he forced himself to make sure no one went away without a hello and a hug. And if it didn’t take too long, he would sign a few things, as well. When the fans were finally satisfied enough to let him leave, Nick noticed that Jenny had already disappeared from the hall.
****************************
She was thankful they couldn’t see her face. She was on fire, and she knew it. Why am I so embarrassed? Shouldn’t I be scared or worried? As soon as she reached her door, Jenny went inside, bolted it, and checked to see if it was possible to do the same to the door connecting the rooms.
Once she was absolutely sure an intruder couldn’t bother her, Jenny sank down to her knees against the door to the hallway. She was trying to understand the feelings going through her, but nothing made sense. She hadn’t been able to explain anything to herself ever since that morning. Hell, it’d only been a day and she already wanted to go home. What she wouldn’t give to be around her friends. Everything was so clear when they were with her. Maybe she could find a way to see them.
She had to yell at herself for such a foolish thought. The first concerts were in Florida and only a week away, and surely her friends would be too busy to come and visit her there. She couldn’t ask Brian if they could turn back. Jenny had to face the truth: she was alone in this.
The wave of self-pity hit her so hard, knocking the tears right out of her. What am I doing? Things have been worse than this, and I have survived it. And I certainly don’t need to wallow here in my own pity. At that thought, Jenny stood up as if she was literally stepping out of her pit of despair. Then a knock came from the door.
Jenny thought her heart had leaped straight out of her chest. Whirling around to face whatever threat was behind the door, Jenny realized that the sound had come from the door connecting to Nick’s room. She froze in place, hoping that if she didn’t do anything, he might go away.
Another knock came. What should I do? I don’t want him in my room. I don’t wanna be in his room… gathering up some courage, she reluctantly reached for the door thatch.
*Click* She opened the door.
After his first knock, Nick had waited for a few moments, wondering why it was taking so long for her to get to the door. Maybe she had fallen asleep. He knocked again. Still no answer. Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered her, he admitted to himself. He was about to let it be when he heard the lock being undone from the other side. Nick stood there, waiting for Jenny’s face to appear and not realizing he was holding his breath.
“Yes?”
Nick could feel a hand reaching into his chest and squeezing his heart. The fear and uncertainty in her voice could have only been matched by the reluctance he saw on her face. He knew then and there that coming to her this soon was a mistake. She obviously wasn’t feeling well. But why? What could possibly make her withdraw from them as much as she did? She never wanted to talk. She avoided eye contact at all cost. If she got her way, she would end up living in the bathroom for the rest of the tour. If she wasn’t sleeping, that’s where she wanted to go. It wasn’t until her concern deepened that Nick realized he was staring at her without giving an answer to her greeting.
“Hi, Jen. I was wondrin’ if you felt like talkin’ or anethin’. Ya seemed unsettled when ya left us earlyer in da hall.” Jenny didn’t answer. He noticed that even now she refused to look at his face. “Jen?”
“Huh…?”
“What’s up?”
“I’m just not feeling my best today, and I’m not used to the idea of rooming next to a guy. Sorry. It surprised me that I would have a connecting door to you. To anyone. Sorry if I offended you,” Jenny apologized, giving the floor her full and undivided attention. Nick wanted to believe her, but somehow he was sure that Jenny wasn't telling him the whole truth. He wasn’t going to confront her about it now, though. He would let her be.
“Ok, then. I’m sorry t’aved bothered ya. I’m gonna take a nap, now. Buhye.” With that, Nick pulled the door closed in an effort to escape the relief he knew he would see on her face when she realized he was leaving. Somehow, he knew that seeing it would tear him apart. Jenny had wanted to say that he hadn’t bothered her and that she should be the one that was sorry, but that didn’t make any sense. He was the one that had embarrassed her. He was the one intruding in her privacy. He was the one screwing up her life and mixing up her feelings. It was all his fault.
Wasn’t it?
Broken Promises