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"Jenny?" one girl said in a worried voice as she tapped the girl's shoulder. "Ya there?" Jenny saw a familiar hand wave in front of her eyes and lightly pushed it away with a sigh.
Now a new girl called out, "C'mon Jen. What's wrong, girl?" Sighing again, Jenny turned her face toward her five friends in the car. There was Alicia, the one who had waved her hand and now looked very concerned. Jenny could always count on Alicia. Next to Alicia was Colleen, the one who could always make her laugh, but could make her angry just as easily. On the other side of Colleen sat Laura, or Lara as Jenny always called her. Lara's nickname for Jenny in return was Jen*nay. Those names had always been theirs alone. Sitting in the driver's seat, in front of Jenny, was Holly, or Hollybear, whom Jenny had spent countless times with while laughing and riding their horses. In the front passenger seat, Rachael, the one who had asked what was wrong, sat sideways, still wondering and waiting for Jenny's answer.
"Why did you guys make me come to this? Can't we just not go in or something?" Jenny begged with pleading in her eyes. A collective sigh rang through the car as each girl realized that the only real problem was the whining they knew to follow such a plea, and nothing serious. Annoyed, Jenny sat up straight with her back rigid and the hair on her neck standing on end. "Do you mean to tell me you don't think my feelings are a big deal?!"
Rushing at the chance to perturb her, Colleen leaned forward so Jenny could see her face behind Alicia's and spoke sweetly. "Oh, but Jen-Jen, you know you are just DYING to see them!" Colleen laughed amusedly and sat back as Jenny folded her arms angrily.
Seeing the sparks, and knowing her position in the seating arrangement, Alicia tilted toward Jenny and whispered, "Don't worry Jennaynay. Everything's gonna be okay. Whether you like the Boys or not, nothing is going to happen to you. No one is going to be mad at you, and no one is going to hurt you."
Now this odd comment about "nothing happening to her" made perfect sense to the two girls, even though the rest of the car would have had no clue as to its meaning, if they had been listening in. Of all of Jenny's friends, Alicia was the only one that knew about Jenny's past experiences. The comment also gave Jenny very much to think about. Without warning, her memory took her back to when she was only eight years old.
Sights and sounds from her younger years poured back into her mind. Jenny saw scenes of her father beating her and her mother; she heard the screams that came from her mother's bedroom every evening when the frightening man came home. Blinking the tickling feeling out of her eyes, Jenny tried to take her mind to other thoughts.
And they came with a vengeance. This time she saw herself as a sixteen-year-old in love with the nicest and most popular guy in school, Jake Marshalls. There was the Homecoming Dance, and he had invited her. Jenny saw herself having the time of her life as she had danced the night away to the sounds of her laughing friends and joyful music. And then Jake was taking her home, but he wasn't taking her home. He instead drove out into a field and tried to force himself on her. Even though it appeared that Jake only wanted a romantic kiss, she wasn't ready for such intimacy with him, or anyone. Then he kicked her hard out of the car when she refused to let him touch her. The image of her rolling, bloody body being kicked again and again by a relentlessly crazy Jake forced the tears out of Jenny's eyes.
Shaking her head and breathing with short, uncontrolled sobs, Jenny whispered under her breath, "It won't happen again."
Hearing her, Alicia leaned in closer and returned Jenny's vow with another of her own, "But you will love again, Jenny. Let it go." Jenny just shook her head slightly and laid it back to rest. Right before she fell asleep, one last thought came to mind.
It won't happen again. I won't let another male touch me. It won't happen. Ever.
Broken Promises