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Sarg 12 - Hanumaan's Diappointment

After so much search for Seetaa, when Hanumaan didn't see Her, he got disappointed. [All kinds of thoughts came into his mind] "Maybe She is not even alive. If She had been alive, I could have seen Her somewhere. This is also possible that seeing these Raakshasee, She must have run away somewhere, because these women look very frightening. If I couldn't find Seetaa, then I cannot go back to Sugreev after crossing the sea to come here. Whatever time Sugreev had assigned to us, that is also over. Now if we go there, Sugreev is going to punish us severely. I have searched Her everywhere, but I couldn't find Her. What Jaambvaan and Angad will think about me? I think now I will have to sacrifice my life through fasting."

In second thought, he thought that, "not being disappointed is the key to success, so now let me look at those places also which I have not seen yet". So he started searching Seetaa in other places. There were some buildings in a lonely place. He went there to see Her but She was not there also. He searched Her among the women or Vidyaadhar and Naag women but still couldn't find Her.

Sarg 13 - Hanumaan's Diappointment

Hanumaan thought - "I couldn't find Seetaa here. Whatever place Sampaati told She is not there also. Did She accept Raavan's abduction? She is the daughter of Raajaa Janak, She is the daughter of Prithvi, in fact She must have felt like a dead at the time when Raavan abducted Her. Maybe Raavan has eaten Her, or his Raakshasee have eaten Her, or he has kept Her in a cell-like place.

If I go back without any information about Seetaa then my all efforts will be useless. And what I will say to Raam? that "I couldn't find Seetaa?"  I am sure He will die [hearing this]. And seeing this His brothers will also be not able to live anymore. Then their mothers will also lose their lives seeing their sons dead. 

Sugreev will also die seeing his friend's condition, and Roopaa, Sugreev's wife, will also die with her husband. And then all Vaanar will sacrifice their lives in the grief of their Swaamee Sugreev. It will be a horrified scene. No, no, I cannot go back to Kishkindhaa, if I don't find Seetaa. At least all others will be alive in hope. I will die either by burning in a pyre or drowning in sea."

At least he got courage and thought that, "I will kill Raavan and take the revenge of Seetaa's abduction. I will take his body to Raam as an animal is offered as sacrifice. Let me search Seetaa once more.

This is Ashok Vaatikaa. I have not checked this place before. It has lots of big trees. When I will enter it, I will bow to Vaayu and Ashwinee Kumaar, win Raakshas and offer Seetaa to Raam as Siddhi is given to Tapaswee." So after some time he bowed to Raam and Lakshman and Sugreev and entered Ashok Vaatikaa. He thought that there must be many Raakshas living there. It should be very clean. Devtaa should protect me, and Vaayu, Shambhoo and Indra should give me Siddhi. Thus wishing for the favor of all Devtaa Hanumaan said - "When will I see Seetaa whose face is like Moon, who has high nose, white teeth and sweet smile?"

Vaatikaa
Small garden

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