1

Main Character

Signpost #1

Learning

TWO SITUATIONS

1

"The rotation is upon us again," Belle announced as she hurried to her chair at the oak table in her mother's kitchen and reached for a jelly-filled Viennese doughnut. "I would have been here earlier, but…" She bit into her doughnut and moaned appreciatively. "My friend Jane was very upset. I had to stay and console her."

Belle and her older sister, Chrissy, ate at their mother's home as often as they could and never missed the five o'clock tea she served for them on Wednesdays. Their mother, Catherine Valère Ghent, known affectionately as Mrs. G to all who loved and admired her, was a five-star Cordon Bleu cook of rare talent. Belle pulled the napkin-lined pastry basket toward her and settled in.

Mrs. G was gazing intently out of the French doors at the banks of azaleas and rhododendrons that encircled the slate patio and decorated the hill that rose gently beyond. "Oh, I'm so worried," she said. "Everything seems to be blooming fast this year. What if the azaleas are past their peak for my benefit next week?"

"I am sure everything will be perfect as usual." Belle examined the basket and selected an almond-paste croissant. She sniffed it and took a large bite. "Mmmm… This is heavenly… Anyway, I wanted to talk to you two about the rotation. Jane's mother-in-law was supposed to leave next Wednesday —"

"You girls promised to attend and circulate! If you don't circulate, I shall consider your promises to be broken!" Mrs. G shook her finger at them.

"Don't worry, Mom!" Chrissy interjected. She turned to Belle. "This year we expanded and computerized our donor list. Those who own a house assessed at over a million, presidents and owners of all the major local companies —"

"All for a good cause, " Mrs. G said, getting up. "We provide a lot of free care at Melton General."

"It's a pleasure watching you putting the arm on the rich and famous of Melton," Belle said, guarding the pastry basket.

"And of towns beyond!" Mrs. G trilled, as she danced away with the tray of tiny tea sandwiches to her SubZero refrigerator.

"Wait! I haven't had any yet." Belle jumped up after the tray and snatched a handful. "And now, about this darn rotation…"

Mrs. G came back and sat down. "Yes dear, we're all ears."

2

Objective Story

Signpost #1

Present

PROBLEM

2

"Well, Jane's going off the deep end. She was in a total tizzy today. She thinks that, again this year, she won't get a decent period of respite between when her mother-in-law leaves and her own mother arrives."

"Poor Jane and her husband Rupert have a difficult situation," Chrissy explained to Mrs. G. "Rupert's mother stays with them in the winter, and then she leaves and Jane's mother comes and stays with them in the summer."

"While Rupert's mother stays with one of Rupert's sisters."

"Oh dear," Mrs. G said.

"I thought Rupert had told his sister Nancy that Jane needed a month off between these rotations." Chrissy turned to Belle. "Didn't they agree last fall on the date that Nancy — or was it Lizzy? — is supposed to take her back?"

"It's Nancy, " Belle said. "Lizzy hasn't taken a turn with their mother in the last ten years. And yes, Rupert and Nancy had agreed on the date. Or at least, that's what Rupert told Jane."

2-1

Main Character

Journey #1

Learning to Understanding

BURDENS

2-1

"Unfortunately, old folks can become such a burden," Mrs. G said. "I pray to God everyday that I never become a burden for you two."

"You're looking in the wrong place, Mom. Our problem is not the burden, but the inequitable sharing of the burden."

"And you're being unfair to Belle and me," Chrissy added. "We always share everything equally — good or bad."

"The problem is the burden," Mrs. G insisted. "I'm 79 years old and I know what that poor old lady must be going through. Who would want to be shuttled around from place to place twice a year? And God forbid, it would be three times a year, if you children were to succeed in your quest for equity and somehow managed to coerce Lizzy to participate in the rotations too."

Mrs. G got up again. "No, it's you two who are looking in the wrong place. And you're eating too much again!" She pulled away the pastry basket. "You're going to ruin your appetite. We're having roast duck à l'Orange for dinner." She shooed them into the family room adjacent to the breakfast area of the kitchen.

2-2

Objective Story

Journey #1

Present to Progress

WHAT TO DO?

2-2

The family room faced the backyard like the kitchen, and the French windows that started in the breakfast area of the kitchen continued into the family room to form its entire South wall.

"So, anyway," Belle continued as she walked to her favorite chair facing the hill, "Rupert called Nancy last night to find out when she was coming and she hung up on him — hung up on him!"

"Poor Jane!" Chrissy said.

"Poor mother-in-law, whatever her name!" Mrs. G countered.

"Mom, we can't address the long-term problem now."

"You know, it's like Ground Hog Day!" Belle exclaimed. "Keeps happening the same way every year despite poor Jane's ineffectual efforts and protestations. First, Nancy stops calling her mother to avoid talking about when she's coming for her. In fact, you can always tell when Nancy's turn in the rotations is approaching, because she stops calling her mother. The calls go from twice a week to zero. Every year."

Belle got up to pace back and forth along the French doors.

"And her husband Dick," she continued, "now, Dick could very easily transport his mother-in-law himself and save Nancy the trouble. They live only three hours from here and he drives down every Friday to meet with a client, Optechnics, which is a few miles up Route 128. Has a small contract there — purely the courtesy of having gone to college with its president, I might add! But I'm sure Dick's just dreading the impending rotation and would do anything to skip their turn. After all, his own mother's in an assisted-living facility. Why should he have to put up with Nancy's?"

She crossed her arms on her chest and planted her feet. "Well, this year I'm determined to rescue Jane from being squeezed between rotations."

She sat down again and looked expectantly at her mother and sister. "So. I'm open to suggestions."

"Why doesn't Rupert — or Jane — drive her to Nancy's on the agreed upon date?" Mrs. G asked.

"Well, Jane and Rupert worry that that would make her feel like she was being pushed out," Chrissy said. "It would make her feel more wanted if the one whose turn it is to have her comes to pick her up, see?"

3

Subjective Story

Signpost #1

Preconscious

TRUTHFULNESS

3

"Well dear, then I recommend an honest and direct approach. Jane should simply —"

"Honest and direct are out of the question," Belle interrupted.

"Jane should simply be truthful with Nancy," Mrs. G went on firmly. "Explain the situation herself instead of trusting proxies like Rupert. Negotiate a modus vivendi acceptable to both. That's what a smart woman would do."

"Mom, if Jane had been a smart woman, she would not be in the pickle that she's in," Chrissy said. "Jane is not a smart woman. Jane lacks survival skills."

"Honesty would simply get her into more trouble," Belle added. "She's terrified already that they'll think she's unkind and ungenerous. She's terrified that Rupert will blame her if Nancy gets angry."

"Nancy is very irritable," Chrissy explained. "She always hangs up the telephone on Rupert. Everybody is afraid of Nancy's temper."

"Poor Jane," Belle continued. "There she is — only 5 feet 2 inches and 100 pounds. And of course Rupert is tall. And her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law — well, let me just say, charitably, that they're our size."

"The three of us average 5 feet 10, and 170 pounds," Chrissy put in helpfully.

Belle looked at Mrs. G. "I would say we average 180 pounds."

"Unkind remarks don't become you, sweetheart."

"Well, anyway, poor Jane is clearly the underdog, and I…" Belle stopped to look out the window at the hill. Two squirrels were chasing each other up and down the big oak.

"I'm inclined to use deception," she said.

"You're always inclined to use deception!" Mrs. G exclaimed.

"Only in the service of a good cause!"

"All this sneakiness! I want it done, but I don't want anyone to know that it's me who wants it done!" Mrs. G squealed in a wicked imitation of Jane.

"Well, Jane is a kind person. She doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. She doesn't want them to think she's trying to get her mother-in-law out so that she can get some time off — alone! — before her own mother rotates in, so to speak."

"Anyway," cut in Chrissy, "it seems to me our limited objective right now should be to make sure that Nancy comes for her mother next Wednesday. Now, there are only two ways you can make a person do what she doesn't want to do: violence and deception."

Mrs. G's mouth opened, but Belle was faster. "Of course, violence is almost never appropriate for anything. And we would never use it." She smiled at Mrs. G. "Though one must admit the perverse appeal of breaking some knees —"

"Hiring someone to break some knees," interposed Chrissy.

"To coerce a jerk to do the right thing," Belle continued.

"Only an idiot would want another disabled large woman on one's hands," Mrs. G countered sweetly.

"Very true. That's why we must use deception."

"Deception is simply the other side of the coin of coercion," explained Chrissy. "Violence and deception. Two sides of the same coin, see? Deception is simply a more discrete method. Instead of torturing 'em to do something, you trick 'em into thinking they want to do it! Much more pleasant that way. Of course, you could move up the ladder of deception toward blackmail and extortion, which are less refined forms closer to violence."

"Tough talk," Mrs. G said, "from folks who ask me to hook their worms when we go fishing! You children should spend some time in a decent kitchen to find out what violence is. And there is a third method — letting the jerk find out where her true interest lies."

"Unfortunately, in this case, her interest lies in skipping her duty altogether," Chrissy said.

"Mmmm, I think I smell the duck!" Belle inhaled deeply. "Mom, I think the duck needs to be checked!"

"The duck accepted his fate with dignity and grace," Mrs. G muttered as she trotted off to the kitchen. "With no back talk! In my kitchen…"

4

Obstacle Character

Signpost #1

Conceiving

SECRET SCHEMES

4

Belle turned to Chrissy. "OK," she said. "What do we have here? We want Nancy to pick up her mother on Wednesday, Rupert is afraid of calling to remind her or even to find out what her plans are, and Jane — well, Jane is in a catatonic state, just waiting to see what will happen."

"We can work directly on Nancy, or on Dick to have him influence Nancy, or on Rupert to goad him into action."

"It can't look like Jane had anything to do with this."

"She shouldn't even know anything," Chrissy said. "Poor Jane, she couldn't tell a lie to save her life."

"Now, what leverage, if any, do we have — on any of them?"

"I can start to put together a fairly complete dossier on each — financial details, real estate ownership, court judgements, liens… Social security numbers and birth dates would be useful for starting, but not absolutely essential."

"I can look up Jane's now, and then we can cross-reference and branch out from there." Belle reached for her notebook computer and her cellphone on the coffee table. "Would we be able to find out if Dick or Nancy had a skeleton in their closet?"

"Given enough time."

" Hmm. We have only a few days to work with. Why don't we try something real simple?" Belle smiled. "I have an idea!"

Mrs. G walked in just then and sat down with them. "Why do I get the shivers," she asked, "when I hear you say that? By the way, the duck was doing fine. Said to say hello to you two."

"Mom! You know we don't like to personalize our food."

"Of course, dear. Better not. Who would want to eat a little friend waddling around happily with six baby ducklings in tow?"

Belle kissed her mother goodnight and started putting on her light poplin jacket. As Chrissy reached forward for her kiss, Mrs. G stopped her. "I just got an idea!" she exclaimed. "Lobster Newburg! Tomorrow is not one of our regular dinner days, but if you children would like —"

"Mom, you know we're ambivalent about lobster," Belle said severely.

"It will, of course, be accompanied by Yorkshire Pudding buns," Mrs. G continued with a dreamy smile. "And, for dessert —"

"Ohh, gee…" Belle mumbled, as Chrissy hissed in her ear, "Sure beats canned tuna!"

"We can be here by 6:30."

"Champagne!" Mrs. G said with a grand flourish of her right hand. "I'll check the cellar to see what I can round up. We can toast to your little schemes!"

"I don't like the glint in her eye!" Chrissy hissed again in Belle's ear.

5

Objective Story

Signpost #2

Progress

IMPLEMENTATION

5

At 7:30 A.M. on Thursday morning Belle arrived at the Boston offices of Commerziale Bayerisch Bank, her current client, where she was working as a subcontractor on a tiny module of a large software contract. After checking her daily schedule, she did something that she had never done before in her life: She called Western Union. At 8:00 A.M. when the rest of the contract team came in, she was hard at work on the bank's business and ready for her daily power struggle with the lead consultant on the project.

At about the same time, Chrissy arrived at the Melton Free Library, where she was Assistant Director. After checking her daily calendar, she called their travel agent and had a 10-minute conversation.

6

Obstacle Character

Signpost #2

Conceptualizing

PUNISHMENT

6

When Belle arrived at her mother's that evening, Chrissy was already there, working on her notebook computer on the kitchen table. Mrs. G was busy at the sink.

"I think we've solved Jane's problem," Belle proclaimed.

"That's great, sweetheart. Why don't you two come and give me a hand here with dinner while you tell me all about it."

"In deference to your scruples, we employed a most benign form of deception," Belle said, approaching the sink. "I've called Western Union — Mom, you haven't cooked it yet!"

"It, dear? He's a male, a handsome 3-pound male. Can't you tell?" Mrs. G took the lobster out of its bed of moist seaweed and held him forward. "No wonder you girls haven't been able to find husbands. Here I am at my age with two unmarried daughters on my hands who can't tell a male from a female, but spend their time sticking their noses into other people's affairs." The lobster, out of the safety of its box, became agitated, wiggling its long antennae and many pairs of jointed legs and curling up its tail defensively.

"Oh, gross!" Belle said. "Oh, yuck!" She turned to retreat from the kitchen and slammed into Chrissy, who had come up from behind.

"Now, take Jane," continued Mrs. G. "Even she has managed to get a husband. Unlike some people —"

"Mom," Chrissy interrupted, looking concerned, "I thought dinner would be ready already."

"Oh, everything is ready dear! It's the Newburg sauce that takes a lot of time and the sauce is ready. See? And the Yorkshire Pudding buns are ready to pop into the oven. And the water's boiling briskly here…" Mrs. G selected a sharp heavy knife from her cherry knife-stand. "And now in deference to your scruples, I will sever his spine so he doesn't suffer when… unless of course you want me to do it in the traditional…" Mrs. G trailed off with knife raised.

"Please!" Belle and Chrissy averted their eyes.

Mrs. G inserted the point of the knife into the back of the lobster's head, cutting through the spine. "You can look now. The worst is over. Tell me all about your plan."

"It's still moving," Belle said.

"He's dead," Mrs. G said, shoving him head first into the boiling water and covering the pot.

"Then why do you have to cover the pot so tightly?"

"It's dead, but it might still try to climb out," Chrissy said.

"Why are we being punished?" Belle whispered into Chrissy's ear.

"He has to boil for eight minutes." Mrs. G walked toward the breakfast table. "Let's sit down and tell me about Western Union."

"We wanted to frighten Rupert into thinking he'd be stuck with two mothers-in-law in the house at the same time! So we sent a mailgram to him and signed it with Jane's mother's name. It reads, 'Have to come one month early. Arriving Wednesday. Telephone out of order. Love.' What do you think? Especially that touch about being unreachable by phone!"

"Backed by an elaborate and very authentic itinerary from our travel agent," Chrissy added.

"Oh, dear! Let me get this straight now." Mrs. G leaned back in her chair. "Rupert's fear of being stuck with two mothers-in-law will exceed his fear of Nancy, which will make him call Nancy and work on her, which will convince her to come and pick up her mother —"

"Fear is wonderful for concentrating the mind," Belle said.

7

Subjective Story

Signpost #2

Memory

PAST ESCAPADES

7

"Isn't it a touch Byzantine, dear? Reminds me of the time you climbed up the telephone pole to run a line from the administration office to your third-floor dorm. You couldn't just make your calls below the pole. Nooo! You had to run the line across the walk, into the first floor window, up along the radiator pipes, to the third floor, to the —"

"Mom! That was a hundred years ago. And the foreign exchange girls were so desperately homesick. And I took a lot of punishment for it — with dignity and grace."

"The nuns were most upset with you!" Chrissy giggled.

"I had my hands full talking them out of expelling you! And I had to pay for phone-calls to Hong Kong!"

"Well, this scheme is airtight," Belle insisted.

"We even sent a mailgram to Jane's mother," Chrissy added, "advising her Jane's phone is out of order and not to call for a week. Just in case!"

8

Main Character

Signpost #2

Understanding

OLD AGE

8

"You know, Jane's mother is not an idiot," Belle observed. "When Jane's mother-in-law was selling her home, which had become too big for her to handle, she told Jane she wanted to buy a small condo. So Jane tells her own mother. And her mother says, 'OK, I'll make you a bet: If she gets a condo — or even mentions the word condo again — I'll eat my stockings!'"

"Well, she was right," Chrissy said. "It turns out a neighbor told the mother-in-law, 'You crazy? You have three children. Just take turns visiting each one!' And she took the advice!"

"Ahh, old age," Mrs. G mused theatrically. "For in all the world there are no people so piteous and forlorn as those who are forced to eat the bitter bread of dependency in their old age, and find how steep are the stairs of another man’s house. Wherever they go, they know themselves unwelcome. Wherever they are, they feel themselves a burden —"

"Mom!"

"Where did you dig that up?"

"The Internet, of course, sweetheart. Now let's check how that handsome lobster's doing."

9

Main Character

Signpost #3

Doing

PANICKY CALL

9

On Saturday morning, Mrs. G was wrapping up brioche dough and Chrissy was labeling the packages, when the computer on the kitchen desk came to life with three cords from Beethoven's Fur Elise. A window formed on the screen and Belle's picture appeared.

"Mom, are you there? Is Chrissy with you? I couldn't reach her at home. Turn on the camera!"

"We are both here, dear. She's helping me freeze pastry dough for the benefit."

"The roof has fallen in!"

"Calm down, sweetheart."

10

Objective Story

Signpost #3

The Future

GRIM

10

"I just got a call from Jane. It turns out Jane's mother sicced Bell Atlantic repair guys on their phone, and now Rupert has become very suspicious and is giving Jane the silent treatment, and Jane —"

"You're starting to babble, dear."

"What if they get divorced? I feel so guilty I was going to throw myself out the window, but I live on the 28^th floor!"

11

Obstacle Character

Signpost #3

Being

SARCASTIC

11

"Well, why don't you come on over? I have a nice window here over grassy lawn, and afterwards we'll have smoked chicken and salad and a surprise dessert for lunch."

12

Subjective Story

Signpost #3

Subconscious

REACTIONS

12

"Imagine that busybody of a woman taking it upon herself to talk to the phone company about fixing someone else's phone!" Belle bit firmly into a drumstick.

"Jane disintegrates when Rupert gives her the silent treatment," Chrissy explained to Mrs. G. "And she doesn't handle adversity well, not well at all. Last year, she was so squeezed between rotations that she tried to shampoo all the carpets in one day and she threw her shoulder and —"

"She was in pain for a month. Could only move her fingers, not her arm, when typing at her keyboard." Belle frowned at her third drumstick. "How many legs did this chicken have? Anyway, we're going to have to escalate up the ladder of deception — toward less benign forms!"

"I've collected a lot of information on Dick and Nancy. It's amazing how easy it is these days to find —"

"Oh, eat your lunch!" Mrs. G ordered. "I'll bring in the dessert. See if you can guess what it is!" As she got up, Belle's cellphone rang in her shirt pocket.

13

Objective Story

Signpost #4

The Past

DOES NOT REPEAT!

13

It was Jane again. "You won't believe this," she said between a whisper and a squeak. "Nancy just called. She's coming on Monday — two days ahead of schedule! I can't believe it!"

14

Main Character

Signpost #4

Obtaining

SURPRISE!

14

Belle frowned as she folded her phone and put it in her pocket. "I don't understand it!" she said finally and related the call.

"Weird!" Chrissy said

"I think I'll go get the dessert." Mrs. G walked away.

"Does Mom look funny to you?" Chrissy whispered.

"Mom!"

Mrs. G came back with a platter of crisp pastry shaped like little cups, filled with a creamy pudding and topped with sliced strawberries. "Bird nests!" she announced.

"Mom, what have you done?"

"Don't excite yourself, dear. It's only shredded wheat. You form it in the shape —"

"Mom, you know what I mean!"

"'Fess up, Mom!"

15

Subjective Story

Signpost #4

Conscious

EXPLANATION

15

"Oh well! Thursday morning I visited Optechnics. Its CEO is Ross Colby, a wonderful young man." Mrs. G looked wistfully at her daughters. "It just breaks my heart that he's married. Anyway —"

"Ross Colby is forty-eight," Chrissy said.

"And he's not a nice man," Belle added. "Why would he see you?"

"I'm 79 years old. Nobody says no to me." Mrs. G straightened up and smiled. "Besides, I went just before lunchtime with an open box of oven-warm pastries that everybody could smell. Ross Colby and I chatted briefly. He knows Dick, though not Jane, of course. Anyway, I had barely launched into a few vague remarks about possibly needing Jane's help with the benefit and how uncertainty about when Dick would pick up his mother-in-law was a hindrance, when Ross starts laughing and says, 'No need to worry! I will personally take care of him for you tomorrow.' He said it would be a pleasure. A really sweet man! And he said he'd be attending my benefit."

16

Obstacle Character

Signpost #4

Becoming

FLEXIBLE

16

"Mom has moved up from deception to extortion," Belle groaned, laughing.

"It's worse than that," Chrissy pointed out. "She's gotten someone else to do her extorting."

"Not at all, dear. It was simply education and persuasion. And besides, even Saint Augustine defended a little compulsion in the service of charity, didn't he, when he said, 'Love, and do what thou wilt!'"

"Thanks, Mom!" Belle kissed her mother and moved aside as Chrissy came up for her turn.

Note: Mrs. G's quotation about old age is from "Dorothy Dix, Her Book" by Dorothy Dix.