BBM Enterprises Online - Simpson's Quote

19th March 2001 - epoisode where Homer drives the truck for the
guy that died in a steak eating contest.

(Homer gets into the truck and is ready to roll)
Bart: Can I come with you dad?
Homer: Don't you have school?
Bart: Don't you have work?
Homer: Ahh, Touche.

19th March 2001 - Homer is sinking in tar

Homer: It's ok, its ok, I'll just pull my feet out with my hands.
Homer: Now I'll just pull my hands out with my head (he sticks his head in the tar and goes under, then he is saved by Bart's pet elephant, Stampy)
Homer: I'm alive, and it's all thanks to this feisty feline!
Lisa: A feline is a cat dad.
Homer: Elephant Lisa, it's an elephant. El-e-phant.

19th March 2001 -

Marge: Homie I can hear you chewing on your pillow, what's wrong.
Homer: Marge, the boy was wearing a Hawaiian shirt!
Marge: So?!
Homer: There's only two kinds of guys that wear those shirts - gay guys and big fat party animals and Bart doesn't look like a big fat party animal to me.

20th March 2001

Homer: Moe I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah.
Homer: See I got this friend named (makes up a name) Joey Joe Joe...Junior...Chabadoo.
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
(a guy at the other side of the bar runs out crying)
Barney: Joey Joe Joe!

22nd March 2001

Marge: You awful man, stay away from my son!
Sideshow Bob: Oh, I'll stay away from your son all right.......stay away FOREVER!
Homer: Oh no!
Sideshow Bob: Wait, that's no good....(walks off, then comes back a second later)
Wait I've got a good one now, Marge, say "stay away from my son" again!
Marge: No.
Sideshow Bob: (grimaces)

24th March 2001

Skinner is searching the streets, trying to catch Bart skipping school when he finds a piece of gum on the floor.
Skinner: His brand of gum, double mint. Trying to double your fun, eh Bart? Well I'll double your detention!.....I wish someone was around to hear that.

26th March 2001

Bart: Hi, I'd like to buy a copy of Bone Storm. Here's 99 cents.
Comic Book Guy: (sighs) Allow me to summarise the proposed transaction. You wish to purchase Bone Storm for 99 cents, net profit to me...negative 59 dollars. Oh please take my 59 dollars, I don't want it, it's yours. (Bart reaches for the money)
Comic Book Guy: Seeing as we are UN-familiar with sarcasm, I shall close the register at this point

27th March 2001

While at Sideshow Bob and Selma's wedding, Marge is going around with a camcorder talking to the guests..............

Marge: Krusty! It's Krusty the clown! Say something funny Krusty!
Krusty: Oh, ahh, something funny, like a joke. Come on Krusty you can think of one. Oh, ahh, hey I've got one. This guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist. Oh, wait, i can't tell that one. Hey Hey!!

28th March 2001

The "Pin Pals" episode. The team is cheering on Otto while he gets ready to take his turn bowling......
Homer/Apu/Moe: You can do it Otto! You can do it Otto!
Apu: Make this spare, I'll give you free gelato!
Moe: Then back to my place, where I will get you blotto!
Homer: Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!

29th March 2001

(Homer, after he does the magazine quiz and finds out he'll only live to be 42.)
Homer: 42??! I won't even live to see my children die.

30th March 2001

Homer: Lisa , if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't. It's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot-oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such-and-such

1st April 2001

Homer is driving in his car with Ned, and sticks his head out the window......
Homer: I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders, and he is my friend!
(Lenny and Carl walk by)
Lenny: What'd he say?
Carl: I dunno'. Somethin' about being gay.

3rd April 2001

Comic book guy: Yes, finally. I would like to return your quote-unquote ultimate belt.
Salesman: I see, do you have a receipt, quote-unquote sir?
Comic book guy: No, I do not have a receipt. I won it as a door prize at the Star Trek convention, although I find their choice of prize highly illogical, as the average Trekker has no use for a medium size belt.
Salesman: Whoa, whoa, a fat sarcastic Star Trek fan! You must be a devil with the ladies.
Comic book guy: Hey, I, uh, de-oh.............
Salesman: Gee, I hate to let you down, Casanova, but no receipt, no return.
Bart: I'll give you four bucks for it.
Comic book guy: (sighs) Very well. I must hurry back to my Comic Book Store where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them.

4th April 2001

Lisa: Dad there's a badger in the dog house!
Homer: Badger my ass, it's probably Milhouse! (Homer looks in and the badger starts eating away at him)
Homer: It's a badger alright! Look what it did. (Lifts up his shirt revealing his internal organs)
Lisa: How did it rip a hole in you without ripping your shirt?
Homer: I dunno, what am I, a tailor?

7th April 2001

Homer and Bart are walking through Springfield airport

Religious Rallying Type Person 1: Christian Conscious awareness
Homer: (pointing) This Bart, is a Crazy man.
Religious Rallying Type Person 2: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Homer: (sarcastically) Sure, that'll work...
Movementarian: A new and better life awaits you on our distant planet Blisstonia.
Homer: (nods) Humm, makes sense.

11th April 2001

Homer: We monorail conductors are a crazy breed, gobbling up danger like ordinary men eat peanuts...Am I turning you on Marge?
Marge: No
Homer: What if I undo this top button?
Marge: Good night Homer. (turns the light off)
Homer: (in a deep voice) What if I talk like this? What if I sing to you?
(singing) I gave my love a chicken, it had no bones...Mmmmmm chicken.

13th April 2001

Robotic Smokey the bear: Only who can stop forest fires?
(Bart has the choice between the buttons "me" and "you" so he presses "you.")
Robotic Smokey the bear: You pressed "you" refering to me, that is incorrect. The correct answer is you!
(Bart gets frustrated and kicks Smokey the bear)

19th April 2001

Homer: One of our kids is lousy, and the other one is good, why can't they both be good?
Marge: Homer, we have three kids.
Homer: Marge...the dog doesn't count as a kid...
Marge: Maggie.
Homer: Oh, yeah.

22nd April 2001

Hutz: Uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snider.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I...kinda' ran over his dog.
Marge: Oh dear...
Hutz: Well, replace the word "kinda" with repeatedly and "dog" with son...

25th April 2001

Lisa: DAAADD! You can't just leave us, we need a babysitter.
Homer: Lisa, haven't you seen Home Alone? If some burglars come, it'll be a hilarious situation.

26th April 2001

Chief Wiggum: Okay, folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, shows...Oh my God! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around! Don't be shy, crowd around!

28th April 2001

Homer's to do list in the episode when they tell him he will be dead in 24 hours.
1. Make list
2. Eat a hearty breakfast
3. Make videotape for Maggie
4. Have man-to-man with Bart
5. Listen to Lisa play her sax
6. Make funeral arrangement
7. Make peace with dad
8. Beer with the boys at the bar
9. Tell off the boss
10. Go hang gliding
11. Plant a tree
12. A final dinner with my beloved family
13. Be intamit wih Marge

29th April 2001

Fireman: Homer, this is never an easy thing to say. I'm afraid we're going to have to cut your arms off.
Homer: They'll grow back won't they?
Fireman: Uhhh, yeah.

31st April 2001

Homer: Wait a minute, there's something bothering me about this place. I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit! Enjoy your death trap ladies!
Woman: What was her problem?

5th May 2001

Lenny & Carl make it to the top of the meeting spot first beating the rest of the employees

Lenny: Hey! We made it up here first! thanks to teamwork!
Carl: Yeah, my teamwork!

14th May 2001

Akira: We learn Karate, so that we need never use it.
Bart: Um, excuse me sir. I already know how not to hit a guy. Can we break out the nunchucks?

20th May 2001

Homer: This is the last bar in town...If I don't get in here I may have to give up drinking.
Homer's Liver: Yay!
Homer: Shut up liver (punches his liver) Oww...my liver hurts.