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May 1998

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A WORLD OF CHANGE

This week has certainly brought lots of change. There are the obvious world-wide events of this week - notably the change of President in Indonesia. After the tragic events of the week before, it was re-assuring to see peaceful change. How beneficial that change will be for Indonesians I guess remains to be seen.

On a more personal level, this week also brought changes. And that change process isn't over yet. I have always been a person of principle - I know what I believe, and generally stick to it. However, some decisions are fine in theory (that is, we can all expound our own theories and viewpoints on the given topic, and endlessly debate the pros and cons) - until we have to put them into practice, or we are faced with *actually* having to make that decision. Then it isn't so easy.

It's been a week of a lot of thought, and wrestling within. I don't like having to think about this particular decision, and, ultimately, it isn't mine to make - but my opinion on the matter is appreciated. I find myself separated from the actual decision, and yet I am so emotionally caught up in it. It seems my emotions won't let me be separate. Thats what is so difficult. And as I wrestle with it, events will move on, and I will have to live with the consequences.

And these pages slowly change. I had neglected the KalCam pages for so long. There just didn't seem any time to get out and get the pictures, always something else to do. Well, I finally did up date the picture (aside - does anyone actually look at these?). But I don't want to get rid of the previous picture, the War Memorial one. I am rather fond of how that one came out. There is just something about it that I really like; the composition, the lighting, the way the flag is flying in the breeze, the way the wrought iron fence kind of looks like crosses increasing the symbolism of the whole - I like it. So I've kept a link to it here.

The "PARIS" THAT ATE MY CAR AND OTHER FAMILY SOAP OPERAS
Wednesday, 20 May 1998

I forgot to mention last few entries that we have a new nephew. Leonie's sister, Denise, had a little boy just before Mother's Day (nice timing, eh?). So, last weekend we had to go down to Perth for a visit. As yet the poor little boy doesn't have a name, so I can't tell you. There is the obligatory photo right next to this paragraph. Kathryn thought he was not too bad (for a boy) - and thought it'd be nice to have one to take home too!!! (I won't tell you what we said to that one).

As is often the case, when "soap opera" like events strike a family - you don't get just one such event, they come in bunches - just like in real soapies. And this family is no exception. At the moment we have a couple of relationships disintegrating (with the associated careful treading), and a rather unfortunate car accident.

Fortunately not serious, although the family member concerned was hospitalised for a day or so, the car itself didn't fair so well. It is now sitting in a wreckers yard ready to be dismembered for spare parts.

Now this car isn't just any old car - this is a car I used to own. Yes, that's right, my old Holden Camira. I bought it second hand long ago when I lived in Canberra. It served me well - took my all the way up to North Queensland when I last visited my sister, Pamela, in Townsville (I've got a picture here of it in Cairns - we had a slight radiator problem, hence the "bemused" look). Three days solid driving just to get there (and then three days back to Canberra) is a hefty trip in one go in anyones language. And then the "old girl" got me safely over to Perth in 1990 (despite a minor setback at Wagga Wagga when I had to replace the waterpump). She was starting to get a bit tired by then, and I eventually let her go to my brother-in-law. It's kinda sad to see the end like this - like an old friend. {*sniff*}

This week has been rather like last week - lots of work (getting notes on line for a couple of my modules), far too much chatting on line, and never enough time to do anything else much. I was rather chuffed this morning though - my JenniCam Caption Contest page got a mention on a news service web page! Ah... touched by fame 8^) .

A HARD DAY'S WEEK
Friday, 15 May 1998

Can't believe its Friday already! I know its been said before - but where does the time go? These last few days have been full-on, certainly. I'm trying to get class materials on line for the next bit of the Pascal class that starts next week, I had a class observed by my course supervisior (Luciene) for my Internship (it went pretty well and that got two contracts out of the way at once), as well as having to care for Kathryn while Leonie was away down at Esperance with her Womens Information Network - Goldfields group. They had a bush camp with some of the aboriginal members of the group. Apparently it worked out quite well - although Leonie was a bit unsure of some of the things on the campfire cooking. 8^).

Other than that its been an OK week - there just isn't much I actually remember. I have been on line chatting a fair bit - that might have something to do with it!

MOTHER'S DAY
Sunday, 10 May 1998

Today is Mother's Day. And I have triple the reason to celebrate, and remember what's good about mothers!

Firstly, Leonie, is the loving mother of my daughter Kathryn. This morning, we let her sleep in, and Kathryn and I got up to get Leonie breakfast in bed. We spent a fairly relaxing day (although Leonie did have to finish an assignment).

Secondly, my eldest daughter, Rosa, is the mother of my grandson, Jacob. It was her birthday a few days ago too. She's now back n Canberra and I miss hearing from her regularly, but we do keep in touch.

Then there is my own mum. I have talked about her before, how I miss her understanding. Today I was thinking of her quite alot. I thought of the usual things people think of when they think about their mums; the caring, the conversations, the love, the being there. How so much is given by our mothers. And I remembered one particular time. When my mother just knew what to do - just to be there. When I look back on it it's kinda corny, but at the time it was so defining. I was only 16 or so at the time. I had been away from home on a holiday, met my first real girlfriend. We had been corresponding for some time, then she realised it wasn't going to work out, and wrote me a "Dear John" letter. I got it when I came home from school that day. Somehow Mum knew what was up, and just hugged me as we sat on the bed.

And later, when I was going through so much diffuculty as my first marriage broke up - Mum was there to comfort and listen. I have so much to be grateful for. And I can't begin to describe how much I miss that connection. She may be gone, but she will be with me forever.

In Loving Memory

Sylvia Isobel Wilson (nee White), 1915-1990

AS TIME GOES BY
Friday, 8 May 1998

Where has this week gone? Yeah, I know, there was always something that needed doing. If it wasn't getting the contracts underway for Internship, it was getting the Progress Report done in time for Wednesdays Curriculum Development class. And if it wasn't teaching on Tuesday and Thursday evening or other times during the week, it was lesson preparation, or getting some new teaching resources on-line.

So here it is Friday night and after this brief rest this evening - time to do *nothing* - already the pressure is beginning to build again - more contracts to prepare, texts to read, and more. And so the cycle begins again.

Somehwhere within it all I manage to find time to keep my sanity. My way is to escape to the web, to here and other sites I maintain. Little tinkerings here or there (I joined a couple of web rings this week - have a look at the back issues page), added some counters (and confirmed what I always thought about a certian page on my site - no prizes for guessing which one - I found it gets about ten times the traffic that my index page does! True!). And there was always time to keep up with email, and even contribute to a couple of lists I'm on.

So, yeah, I have been busy. At work, and at play in my little escape from reality. Leave me alone for a moment, let me gather my strength again. For the grindstone beckons yet again. Once again, it will not be denied.

LIFE'S LITTLE UPS AND DOWNS
Sunday, 3 May 1998

Sometimes wonder why everything never seems to be perfect at the same time? I often do! 'Cause no mater how I try, I can't seem to get it absolutely right in every aspect of my life. These last few days things have been great on the personal front (did I ever tell everyone how much I LOVE Leonie? I tell her often enough!). The down side at the moment is my study - I'm finding it extremely difficult to get motivated. Yeah, I know, there is the light at the end of the tunnel - if I can just get these last units done, I'll have another *bit of paper*, and I can relax a bit. The problem seems to be getting that other unit - the Internship one - going.

I have nine contracts to do - that is, nine seperate assignments, some involving observation by my supervisor. Thing is, that all takes planning - trying to find appropriate classes to use.

Well, I have mad a start of sorts - the first one is about to roll off the word processor soon. Oh well, I'll only have eight to go then! Then when I get a few more done, it might approach perfection! But by then some other aspect will be out of whack!