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November 1998

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THE NOT-SO-SHOOTING STARS
Wednesday, 18 November 1998

Yeah, I know, another long absence. And I guess if it weren't for the *attempted* celestial side show last night, I might not be here with "something" vaguely meaningful to write about. But, well,... it is the end of the academic year - my assignments that should ahve been due weeks ago are only just seeing the light of day (check out my HTML introduction course developed for the Instructional Design module), my students are starting to innundate me with assignments that need marking, I have yet to lodge my tax return for the financial year that ended in June(! - don't tell Peter Costello though) [Tazy ponders a moment...lets see what else....], I have rash commitments coming up all over the place (and no they aren't contageous - I meant the commitments were made when I wasn't thinking of the consequences or the timings). But all I want to do is chat with my irc friends [Tazy *winks* at Girl22] (for some reason Leonie thinks I'm addicted!), and go outside on balmy spring evenings to see non-happening meteor showers.

Yes, it was a bit of a disappointment here. After being billed as the "Greatest Celestial Show in 33 Years", I decided to get an early nap (well early-ish, I was in bed by 11:30pm), and set the alarm for 2am. I did get up and go outside at 1:30am - but apparently even by then I'd missed what little there was in this part of the Earth. And again at 2:30am, and 3:30am and, by 4:30am it was starting to get distinctly light! No more shooting stars.

And in any case, as I realised later, there was too much town light (the street light always seem brighter when you don't want them there - and they are always too dim when you need them!), a thin cloud patchy cloud cover, and my blerey eyes didn't help either! Maybe I'll live to see the next one in 2031!

THE MATURING OF A 'NETIZEN
Saturday, 7 November 1998

There are many subjects I could write about in this journal. Some are a tad boreing - like what I have for breakfast and the other tedium of an existence, some have an interesting or otherwise remarkable story that stands out as highlights. And others are somewhat risque, and it is these topics which I hesitate to write about. Not because of some self-imposed moralistic censorship that decrees such topics are verboden, but rather, they strike at the very heart of our emotional beings. They bring sometimes uncomportable light shining into some of the deepest darkest depths of who we are and what we do with our lives.

One of the hardest for me to write about is sexuality. Not because I'm prudish, but because it IS one of those topics that is so personal and reaches down into sometimes very primitive and deep emotions. Combine that with the 'Net, and you have what is known as cyber-sex.

I can just hear the titilation of snickering from some that read that last paragraph, but to me that isn't a very mature attitude to take. Sexual needs are real and very important to a well balanced individual, and it should not be trivialised. What many fail to see along side is the emotional needs.

For all the "horror stories" you hear about of marriages being torn apart, of people ending up snared with absolute monsters, I hear other stories of fulfilment and hope. It seems that cyber-sex does indeed mirror real life. Does not this behaviour happen in real-life? I am quite happily married, I enjoy what I consider a healthy real sex life (sure, there is often give and take, compromise is a part of any lasting relationship). But yet I find myself fascinated by the idea of cyber-sex. There is something tantilising about relating in such a way with another human being vast distances away via an electronic medium. To me it is more akin to a dynamic and spontaneous writing of erotic fiction. (What the participants choose to do physically is, of course, never seen - that at least remains private and confidential!)

Yesterday I spoke with a close real life friend on this subject, and was surprised (but certainly not shocked) to find out a thing or two. We talk at length, about the advantages and disadvantages of cyber-sex, for there are dangers as well (just as in real life encounters - but different). You can never be sure that your co-respondent is "on the level". And then there is the trap of seeing this other person in an unrealistic, and unfair comparison with your present partner. There is a tendancy to over romantise your cyber-partner simply because thats the nature of the medium. Its much more exciting to read about perfectly described romantic encounters - far different to the routine physical encounter.

And yet the story I was getting from this friend was that it was actually beneficial to their physical relationship. And the key to this success? Simply keeping it in perspective. To emotionally compartmentalise the experience, to not compare or allow a cross-over. I believe it has a place in some relationships. It can work as a strong emotional support and as a means of developing a closer friendship with other human beings. But it is a fine line. One always needs to be vigilant. Take nothing for granted, and remember, it is just erotic story telling.

And what of myself? Have I experienced such a relationship? Well, that would be telling... And these pages are not necessarily the place to do that now are they.