Welcome to Priesty´s Chelsea FC Refuge - In memory of Matthew Harding

Dr Les In Retraction Shocker

A shock retraction from Dr Les, the world's grumpiest Chelsea fan:

"Thanks for publishing my thoughts on Tore. I would however like to retract part of this statement, as I feel that I may have done a dis-service to the man described on your highly offensive website as a "Norwegian cunt".

(It should be noted that it wasn't me who called poor old Tore a cunt, Norwegian or otherwise - Priesty)

Yesterday I was sitting in the drawing room of my Hong Kong villa, enjoying a Bob Marley cigarette (purely for medicinal reasons, you understand) when the clouds of smoke parted and I had a flashback to White Hart Lane and a young Norwegian maestro cutting through the Tottenham defence like a hot knife and bagging a fucking hat trick against the northern scum. Not since the heady days of Kerry-the-Wig had we seen such antics.

This led me to conclude that there are two distinct groups of ex-Chelsea players 1) Bitches and 2) Ambassadors. The bitches are a fucking sorry crew who include:

  1. Graham "speed freak" Roberts
  2. Judas " I want to go North" Durie
  3. Rocky fucking Rocastle
  4. Mick "I'll see you in the tunnel" Harford
  5. Tony "Leeds" Dorigo
  6. Muzzy "mini-me" Izzet
  7. Gordon "fulham" Davies
  8. George "stick-him-up-your arse" Graham
  9. Glenda "Diamond nights" Hoddle
  10. Chris "Vialli paid 10 million for him" Sutton
  11. Alex Stepney!

What a sorry fucking bunch of shit-heels. Go on, get out of here and don't come back, you fucking ingrates. It's embarrassing to think that you ever wore a blue shirt, you cunts.

On the other hand, the Ambassadors are the ones who can walk into the Fulham Tap any night of the week and would never have to by a round. Yes they left Chelsea to ply their trade elsewhere but they carve their names with pride. This select group include:

  1. Eddie Newton
  2. Mark Hughes
  3. Frank Sinclair
  4. Kerry Dixon
  5. Ken Monkou
  6. SuperDan
  7. El Tel
  8. Peter Osgood
  9. Steve Francis
  10. Pat Nevin
  11. Peter Rhoades-Brown

This would indeed be a world-beating team. Thus the moral of this story is two-fold:

  1. Do not be so hasty to savage those who decide they want to leave London as they are not all called Judas. Having said that the jury is still out on Flo and Butch Wilkins. I am undecided whether they are cum-eating bitches or Ambassadors, I suspect the former.

  2. If you stagger into the Beer Castle in Wanchai, wild-eyed, singing "We'll be running round Tottenham with our willies hanging out" you will not be served.

You see my point?
Dr Les, The Voice of Reason

Once again I'm forced to acknowledge the veracity of your point, Doc. Now what's all this about Bob Marley ciggies ? I can find no reference to them in the doctor's bible, MIMS, as being of benefit for any known ailment. Are you, by any chance, suffering from embarrassing itching of the personal variety, picked up on your travels round the Orient's famous gin palaces ?

Perhaps I may make so bold as to offer YOU a little medical advice: I would suggest a little more circumspection when considering glamourous offers of the "Number One Sucky Fucky, only Fi' Dollar" type in the future. I won't charge you for this advice.

PS: Can you get this Bob Marley stuff on the NHS ?


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