MUTV Schedule

This was originally published in Up The Arse! Issue 29.

M.U.T.V. - First Programme Schedule Revealed Today!

7.00 am. THE BIGGER BREAKFAST
Dieting the Brian Kidd Way.

9.00 am. BLUE PETER
What is Schmeichel actually saying when he's shouting at his defenders?

11.30 am. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
Teddy Sheringham on filling Eric Cantona's shoes.

12.30 pm. EVERY SECOND COUNTS
Popular quiz with Alex Ferguson and his stopwatch.

1.30 pm. NEIGHBOURS
A look at local rivals Man.City - Comedy.

2.30 pm. THE GREAT ANTIQUES HUNT
Bryan Robson explains what possessed him to sign Gary Pallister.

3.30 pm. ANIMAL HOSPITAL
Rolf Harris looks at how the surgeons helped Roy Keane back to full fitness.

4.00 pm. CHANGING ROOMS
David Beckham talks about the one he sat in for most of the second half against Argentina.

5.00 pm. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LIKELY LADS?
Ben Thornley, Graeme Hogg and other "new George Bests" reveal all about their exciting new careers at Accrington Stanley.

5.30 pm. WESTCOUNTRY LIVE
United's traditional fan base have their say.

6.00 pm. BOBBY CHARLTON'S FOOTBALL SCRAPBOOK

7.00 pm. GARRY BIRTLES' FOOTBALL SCRAPHEAP

8.00 pm. BLANKETY-BLANK
Highlights of United in the Champions League knockout stages, with Andy Cole and Ole Gunnar Solksjaer.

8.30 pm. THE VANISHING MAN
Jaap Stam talks us through his Charity Shield performance.

9.00 pm. RED DWARF
The Paul Scholes story.

9.30 pm. MEN BEHAVING BADLY
Starring Norman Whiteside and Paul McGrath, with a guest appearance by Tommy Docherty.

10.00 pm. QUESTION TIME
With Alex Ferguson.

10.01 pm. WINNER TAKES ALL
A big-hearted tribute to Arsenal's 1997/98 season.

11.00 pm. RED NOSE DAY
More laughs with Peter Schmeichel.