Song Index

Spurs

George Graham's mother is a whore!
She is a whore!
She is an WH-O-RE!

Who's that team they call the Arsenal?
Who's that team we all adore?
We're the lads in Red & White,
And we're f*cking Dynamite,
And George Graham's mother is a whore!

George Graham's mother is a whore!
She is a whore!
She is an WH-O-RE!

George Graham was magic,
But he's lost his magic hat,
He's now moved in at White Hart Lane,
Oh what a f*cking tw*t!

What we're gonna do,
Is beat the scum,
Then we will show,
That we're London's number one.

What we're gonna do,
Is beat the scum,
Then we will show,
That we're London's number one.

(All I Wanna Do... (Sheryl Crow))

The w*nky Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope,
The w*nky Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope,
The w*nky Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope,
And this is what he said: F*CK OFF!

When I was a little boy,
My mother bought me a little toy,
Tottenham fan on a string,
Told me to kick his f*ckin' head in,
Kick his head in, kick his head in,
She told me to kick his f*ckin' head in.

When I was just a little boy,
I asked my mother what will I be,
Will I be Arsenal, will I be Spurs,
And here's what she said to me:

Go wash out your mouth son,
And go get your fathers gun,
Shoot all the Spurs Scum,
Que sara sara...

My old man said 'Be a Tottenham Fan',
But I said 'F*ck off, bollocks, you're a c*nt, you're a c*nt.
We'll follow the Arsenal over Land and Sea,
Follow the Arsenal unto victory.'

Away in a manger,
No crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus looked up and he said,
We hate Tottenham, and we hate Tottenham...

She wore,
She wore,
She wore fishnet stockings,
She wore fishnet stockings and stilleto heals.

And when,
I asked,
Oh why she wore those stockings,
She said, it was for her client and his name is David Pleat,
David Pleat,
David Pleat,
He's the famous Tottenham pervert and his name is David Pleat.

We won 5-0, we won 5-0, we won 5-0, down the Lane,
we won 5-0, we won 5-0, we won 5-0, down the Lane,
It was easy, it was easy, it was easy, at the Lane,
It was easy, it was easy, it was easy, at the Lane,

(We Are Sailing...)

We had joy, we had fun,
We had Tottenham on the run,
But the joy didn't last,
Because the b*st*rds ran too fast!

Hark now hear the Arsenal sing,
The Tottenham run away,
And we will fight forever more,
Because of Boxing Day!

We'll be running round Highbury with our willies hanging out,
We'll be running round Highbury with our willies hanging out,
Running round Highbury,
Running round Highbury,
We'll be running round Highbury with our willies hanging out,
Singing I've got a foreskin, haven't you?
Singing I've got a foreskin, haven't you?
Singing I've got a foreskin, haven't you?
I've got a foreskin, haven't you?

("Coming Round The Mountain")

Sherwood is illegitimate,
He ain't got no birth certificate,
Sherwood is illegitimate,
He's a Tottenham b*st*rd!
He's a Tottenham b*st*rd!
He's a Tottenham b*st*rd!

The Tottenham,
The Tottenham,
Are full of Sh*t,
Are full of sh*t,
The Tottenahm are full of sh*t,

Full of sh*t, sh*t,
And more sh*t,
The Tottenham are full of sh*t!

Build it up in Red and White,
Red and White,
Red and White,
Build it up in Red and White,
Poor old Tottenham!

(London Bridge Is Falling Down)

Man Utd

Roy Keano, oh-oh-oh,
Roy Keano, oh-oh-oh,
For 50 thousand quid,
He scores for Real Madrid!

Stand up, if you hate Man U!
Stand up, if you hate Man U!
Stand up, if you hate Man U!
Stand up, if you hate Man U!

Posh Spice is a slapper,
She wears a wonderbra,
And when she's shagging Beckham,
She thinks of Ray Parlour!

Whoa Teddy, Teddy!
You went to Man United,
And you won f*ck all!

Whoa Teddy, Teddy!
You may have won the treble,
But you're still a c*nt!

Reserve!
You're just a f*cking reserve!
You're just a f*cking reserve!
You're just a f*cking reserve!

Chelsea

(Coming round the Mountain)

Two men went to laugh,
Went to laugh at Chelsea,
Two men, one man and his dog,
Went to laugh at Chelsea,

(You get the idea!)

Build it up in Red and White,
Red and White,
Red and White,
Build it up in Red and White,
Oh ohh Chelsea!

(London Bridge Is Falling Down)

West Ham United

Repeat

Misc

Tottenham always running,
Chelsea running too,
Arsenal always running,
But only after you!

Wimbledon