....You buy Fabreeze by the case.              ....Your child thinks your first name is "Where's My." ....Hooking no longer means what it did when you were young. ....You have a bumper sticker that reads "My son cross-checked your honor student." ....You have all your business calls forwarded to the rink. ....You think PTA stands for "Penalty-Time Averaged."     ....You have nightmares about zebras. ....You claim the rink on your taxes as a "second residence." ....You consider having more kids just so you can have your own hockey team. ....You spend more weekends on the road than Willie Nelson. ....You traded in your sports car for a minivan/suburban/SUV. ....You know more about the game than the coach. ....You can change a stick blade in ten seconds flat. ....You don't remember giving birth to the 12 kids that call you 'Mom.' ....You see the guy at the pro shop more than your own husband/wife. ....You've lost your voice more times than Pavarotti. ....You have no idea who Martha Stewart is. ....You've driven more miles than Mario Andretti. ....Your year only has two seasons; hockey season and the off season.

You Know You're A Hockey Mom/Dad When

U.S and Canada were playing a game of hockey against each other. About two thirds of the way through the second period a train passed the arena and blew the horn. The U.S thought it was the end of the period and left the ice. Canada scored four minutes later.

Descriptions Of Team Positions

TEAM COACH Leaps tall buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God.

TEAM CAPTAIN Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with God.

ASSISTANT CAPTAIN Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is granted.

DEFENSEMAN Barely clears a Quonset hut Loses tug-of-war with a switch engine Can fire a speeding bullet Swims well Is occasionally addressed by God.

FORWARD Makes high marks on the wall while trying to leap buildings Is run over by a locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog Paddles Talks to animals.

ROOKIE Runs into buildings Recognizes locomotive two out of three times Is not issued ammunition Can't stay afloat without a life preserver Talks to walls

REFEREE Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings Says "Look at the Choo-choo!" Wets himself with a water pistol Plays in mud puddles Mumbles to himself.

GOALIE Lifts tall buildings and walks under them Kicks locomotives off the tracks Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them Freezes water with a single glance (who needs a zamboni?) He is God.

I found an article called "It's A Man Thing" by Shannon McKinnon It's a bit long, so it's on it's own page..... If you're interested in reading it Click here!