On Wednesday Bush said he would keep "all options available" to remove Hussein and has ordered the Pentagon, CIA and other agencies to come up with plans to carry out the mission.

The CIA couldn't be more pleased, since they've been looking for someone to replace Fidel Castro as poster child for their dormant Foreign Leader Assassination Bureau. During the sixties the agency came up with many unique ways to off Castro, such as planting explosive sea shells on the beach where he walked, or putting LSD on the mouthpiece of his scuba gear.

"That was then, this is now," laughs CIA public relations specialist Ima Spook. "We favor more high tech devices these days, such as laser guided micro-nuke seashells and super-crack suppositories."

During the fire-sale of civil rights following the September 11th tragedy, CIA director George Tenant began pressing for authorized assassinations again. Sources close to Bush said he was willing to pull the trigger and seal the deal, since his father had told him "it's the right thing to do, and a heck of a lot of fun."

The president defended claims that as many as 500,000 U.S. ground troops could become engaged in a fight for Baghdad as "a judicious use of military power as well as something my daddy wanted to do but couldn't." Bush mentioned that it wasn't just because of his father, but also "there's, y'know, oil and stuff involved."

Other world leaders are distancing themselves from Bush following his comments, and his previous statements about the so-called "axis of evil" nations Iraq, Iran and North Korea.

Angry protests against Bush have taken place in Seoul, Korea following his comments, and Russian president Putin has warned the U.S. against aggression towards Iraq.

Many see Bush as using the excuse of the war on terrorism to unleash U.S. military agression wherever he pleases, and are worried his comments will cause world tensions to grow worse.

Even on the homefront, some citizens are wondering what Bush is doing.

"I support the President going after that Bin Laden scumbag," said a famous New Yorker who preferred not to give his name. "But the bastards that hit this city came from Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. And have we said anything about those countries? No. In fact, I just heard we're selling 53 missiles to Egypt. That should make Israel happy."

Bush dismissed any criticisms as the rantings of "American Talibans" who will be "crushed under the glistening jackboot of American justice when Homeland Defense phase two kicks in."