Season Three Quotes



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Wanna see quotes from season two? Click here.

"Heartthrob"


Angel apparently goes to Sri Lanka for some heavy brood time after Buffy's death.
Gunn: "Hmmm. Angel and a bunch of monks in the middle of nowhere. That's a party."

Monk: "What happened?"
Angel: "Demon monks. Shouldv'e gone to Vegas."

Cordy to Angel: "So, hope you had a good retreat, all peaceful and meditaty."

Angel about Fred not leaving her room.
"She hasn't come out of her room yet?"
Cordy: "Not what you'd call frequently, but we sent up lots of tacos!"

Angel: "Where's my hurling axe? This is all different!"
Cordy: "I moved some things to the basement while you were gone....it was a dust catcher!"

James: "You have changed. You're not the same man who screwed Darla and couldn't care less about what happened to her."
Angel: "What did you hear? Oh."

"That Vision Thing"


Wesley commenting on the evil building inspecting lawyer
Well, now that we have had this lovely reintroduction I suggest you piss off."

Fred on the joys of eating utensils
"I've been forking with Gunn!"

Gunn on the joys of being a P.I.
"How come whatever we're searching for is in the last place we look?"
Wes: "I suppose it's one of the unwritten laws of being a dick. Um. Sleuth. A gumshoe. Sherlock!"
Gunn: "All I know is you use the word dick again and we're gonna have a problem."

Fred to Cordy in a PRICELESS moment Fred: "Has anyone ever told you you're like Lassie? You're like Angel's Lassie!"

"That Old Gang of Mine"


Angel: "Here. I want you to go this address."
Cordy: "What is it?"
Angel: "Transuding furies."
Cordy: "Gesundheit."

Furies: "Mmm, Angel."
Cordy: "Got it. And 'eww!'"

"Carpe Nocteum"

Angel and Cordy do interviews at the gym Phil: "You know, I-I-I don't see anything that connects the three of them - except they were all in the evening Pilates class together."
Angel: "Pilates, is that like Tae-bo?"
Phil laughs: "Yeah - if you're living in 1999."

Cordy, talking to four guys: "There could be follow-up questions. I'll need some home phone numbers. Why don't we start with you, Benny?"

Angel's the old horny dude.Oh boy.
Cordy: "Yeah. Well, get in. I'll take you back to the hotel."
Angel: "Alright! You and me - going back to the hotel. Nice, huh?"
Cordy: "Are you alright?"
Angel: "Honey, I've never been better."

Angel to Marcus (who's really Angel...confused?): "Hey, Angel. How's my head? Hope you put some ice on it. Sweet deal you've got going on here, pal. Love the hotel. And Cordelia - whoh! That's how I spell w-o-m-a-n!"

To Wes, Marcus in Angel's body thinks he's gay and Wes is Fred..you know what? Just watch the episode to know what I mean!
Angel: "I mean, whatever we - had... - whatever we - did. I just think that we should keep that - behind us. - Start from scratch. You know, two men working side by side. But, you know, none of that - funny stuff."

Cordy: "If Julia Roberts ever makes a realistic movie about being an escort, I think it should be called pretty skanky woman."

"Fredless"


Fred: "But you said he loved her. And of course she's gonna love him back, because he's so strong and handsome and he really listens when you talk. I-I mean, if you go for that sort of thing, why wouldn't it work?"
Cordy: "Let me break it down for you, Fred."
Cordy: "Oh Angel! I know that I'm a Slayer and you a vampire - and it would be *impossible* for us to *be* together - *but!*"
Wes: "But!"
Wes: "My gypsy curse sometimes prevent me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!"
Cordy: "Yes, Angel?"
Wes: "Oh, I love you so much I almost forgot to *brood!*"
Cordy: "And just because I sent you to hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends."
Cordy: "Oh!"
Wes: "Or possibly more."
Cordy: "Gasp! No! We mustn't."
Wes: "Kiss me."
Cordy: "Bite me!"
Angel: "How about you both bite me."

Lorne answering someone banging at his door
Lorne: "Oh, figures. Right when Judge Judy is about to lay the smack down. I'm coming! I'm not death, you know."

Wes: "Lorne, I'd like you to meet Fred's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Burkle. They're here visiting from the country."
Roger: "Yeah. You have to forgive us hicks. Down in Texas we don't get a lot of guys who wear eyeliner...not for long anyway."

Lorne: " And another thing, how... how do they get the pimentos in the olives, huh? There's a mystery for you. You know, do they stuff each one by hand, 'cause that seems a little time consuming, or do you think they have a little pimento stuffing machine ..."

Trish: "I almost hate to ask, but - you do a lot of bandaging in your line of work?"
Cordy: "Mmm. Occupational hazard. I mean, sure there is the occasional demon who tries to kill us with pillows, but, sadly, those cases are few and far between."

Wes: " We think it's some sort of mechanized weapon, possibly influenced by the medieval catapult, designed for serious to fatal wounding, if not complete decapitation."
Roger: "Or it makes toast."
Wes: "Or it makes toast."

"Forgiving"


Fred talking about Justine and Holtz's warped relationship and messy living conditions.
Fred: "living here together.....sharing everything.....not taking out the trash together, I guess."

Fred's in the trash now searching for Wes' diaries. Get all her references to trash in this episode? It's not a coincidence.
Fred: "God! Someone ate that?"

Angel (being a shithead)to Fred: "I'd never hurt someone I care about. NOW MOVE!" Feeling the love there

Sajan to Angel after Angel asks to work together to get Connor: "You and me? Buddy cop summer release? We iron out our wacky differences and bond? I don't think so."

Fred throws a very firey pot of fire at Sajan's already yuckily mangled face.
Sajan: "Does it LOOK like I need more skin problems?"