Chapter 13: There is no chapter 13! Or Hello…this isn’t even a chapter…
The scene opens on a room with green carpet, green walls, green curtains and mostly green everywhere. Random people are sitting in chairs and reading 30-year-old Seventeen magazines.
"These suck!" a short oriental girl said, slamming them down on a green coffee table. The person next to her looked at his watch.
"When do we get to go? Anjel has been in forever!" The short girl nodded. She got up and went to a green counter in the wall.
"Any new openings?" she asked, peering into the depths of the room. Two shadowy females moved behind a paper curtain.
"We’re sorry, Silverwolf’s sis and mom," A-ko said.
"The recent openings are all gone." B-ko finished. The short girl looked pissy.
"Damn that stupid machine! Taking the last job," she shouted. The shadow play girls looked at her.
"Oh, dear, you’re wrong, we’re sorry," B-ko said.
"The last was Zero, technically." A-ko finished.
"Yeah, you’re right," She admitted, "So why are you here? You have jobs." She asked.
"We wanted to escape from one with hair of purple," A-ko said.
"She…" B-ko trailed off, "You did that on purpose!" The shadows began to bicker, so Pokeaudio sat back down. The shadow play girls continued to fight.
"Ah, I’ve got it! She sickened us by giving constant nerples!" B-ko said. A-ko made a face.
"Sad, but useable." She said. She turned towards the wall, then turned around, "Hey, what are you doing here?" She asked the audience, "You can’t be watching this, it’s not a chapter." She said.
"Why??" the audience asked, confused. B-ko looked at them.
"Well, you see, this is where all the prospective characters go. It’s the green room. The green room is everywhere, but if you tried to do a real chapter here, there would be no one here. See, I’ll show you."
Chapter 9,876: The green room or A-ko never brushes her teeth!
The scene opens, this time on a real chapter, on a room with green carpet, green walls, green curtains and mostly green everywhere. There is no one sitting at random chairs and 30-year-old Seventeen magazines lay spread across the room.
TO BE CONTINUED
"See, wasn’t that boring?" B-ko finished.
"Hey!" A-ko said, reading the chapter, "That’s not true!" she runs out of the room in hot pursuit of B-ko. C-ko comes out.
"Bye!" she yelled after them, "So now you know why. But I guess you can be here, because it’s not a chapter unless the main characters are in it. So do you want to read some seventeen?" C-ko asked, looking at a magazine. She started laughing.
"Look, they have funny hair!" she said. The audience rolled its collective eyes. A-ko chased B-ko into the room, then stopped.
"Wait, what’s that?" she asked. The room fell silent. Footsteps were audible over the low hum of a.. car? The door slammed open, spreading the random anime dust. When the dust cleared, SilverWolf, DragonGirl, and Nikkia were standing in the doorway, and there is no one in the room. They immediately slump to the ground.
"I feel sick." Nikkia said.
"Why?" SilverWolf moaned.
"It’s because this isn’t a real chapter. It has a hostile atmosphere to us real characters." DragonGirl wheezed.
"Do they have gas for the Akio-car here?" SilverWolf moaned. DragonGirl shrugged.
"I doubt it, if they did, there’s no one here to tell us where." DragonGirl wheezed.
"Let’s go, I’m feeling faint." Nikkia said. They ran out the door and slammed it. As soon as the dust cleared, the people were back, though tousled and hurried looking.
"I hate having to do that!" Unikorn said. C-ko nodded.
"My hair looks like that magazine." She said. Pokeaudio giggled.
"He he he…..caulk." she said, pronouncing it ‘cock’. A-ko rolled her eyes.
"Oh, are you still here?" A-ko asked the audience, who nodded, "Oh, leave, we are boring." The audience nodded, making vague sounds of acquiescence, and left. One man stopped before he left.
"I am in charge of the board for anime copyrights, and you are in violation of about a hundred statutes of limitations, I’ll have to take you in. Which one of you is the author?" A-ko wrung her hands. B-ko bit her nails. C-ko picked her nose and went,
"Huh?" The door crashed open.
"Me!" DragonGirl wheezed. The anime guy gave her a clipboard of official-looking papers. She looked it over, then pulled a random mallet from her (deep breath) endlessly useful, great for those hard to reach areas, handy dandy, trusty rusty, go everywhere, do everything, weapon concealing, indecent exposing, DUI, code 20, car 17 where are you, with the right to remain silent, has to get paid, living in a van down by the river, with that guy with the big purple thing on his nose hanging, seeing the badge, but officer, I didn’t see the man’s wheelchair, Pull THIS over, license requesting, brief inspecting, may I have a lawyer present, I would like to represent myself, I plead insanity, randomly random random backpack and hit him over the head with it. She ripped up his papers and threw them in the air, shouting,
"Merry Christmas!" She ran out the door coughing. A-ko shook her head. B-ko sighed. C-ko picked her nose. Pokeaudio smacked C-ko upside the head.
TO BE CONTINUED
(well, not really, since it isn’t a chapter, you know)