THE POWER OF THREE
PART SEVEN
By DragonWriter17
 

Rating: PG-13 through Part 10, R after that

Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation.  I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only.  No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below.  No copyright infringement is intended.

My Website: http://www.oocities.org/dragonwriter17/

Feedback: Yes, but only if it’s of the non-flamey variety: DragonWriter17@aol.com

Distribution: The Mystic Muse, Near Her Always  (If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission.)

Spoilers: The end of BtVS Season 4’s “Wild At Heart” and beyond.

Pairings: Willow/Buffy/Tara

Author’s Notes: I have kept to the BtVS/Angel canon in some ways, borrowing directly from aired episodes; however, I have also made significant changes: deleting certain storylines, moving some, changing others, as well as adding some completely original plots.  You may want to read my stand-alone story “Out Of Shadow Into Light,” which tells my version of Tara’s life prior to her arrival in Sunnydale; it is the backstory for Tara for this series.

Number of Chapters: 13

Complete: 1-12

Series Summary: After Oz leaves Sunnydale, Willow turns to best friend, Buffy, and new friend, Tara, for comfort, resulting in a remarkable new relationship for all three.  Amidst the daily dangers of life on the Hellmouth, the three women forge bravely ahead, unaware that their relationship has been predestined. 

Chapter Summary: Buffy has a prophetic dream about the Hellmouth, which the gang tries to research.  Buffy breaks up with Riley, determined to tell Willow the truth about how she feels.  Before she can talk to Willow, Buffy discovers that Willow and Tara really are more than friends.  Meanwhile, Lindsey continues looking for Buffy.
 

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PART ONE       PART TWO       PART THREE       PART FOUR       PART FIVE      

PART SIX       PART SEVEN       PART EIGHT       PART NINE

PART TEN       PART ELEVEN       PART TWELVE       PART THIRTEEN

PART SEVEN

The hospital room was dark, and Buffy was alone.  Since she would be going home the next day, Buffy had convinced her overly-attentive family and friends to take the night off from BuffyWatch.  She had been restless once they were gone, but she had finally succeeded in going to sleep.  Unfortunately, her sleep brought no respite.  It only brought a dream—a  special Slayer dream.

In her dream, Buffy crept through the ruins of the old Sunnydale High School.  Slowly, she made her way to what used to be the library.  As she passed through the remains of the entrance, she saw Xander standing just inside, leaning leisurely against the wall, perusing the centerfold of a porn magazine.  He looked up at Buffy and smiled.

“You know, there used to be a door here,” he confidently informed her.  “It swung both ways.”  Then he turned back to his magazine.

Buffy looked at Xander strangely then walked past him.

Beyond Xander, Buffy saw Giles sitting at a clearly-out-of-place tea table.  On the table were a tea set and a silver tray of cookies.  Giles sat formally in a wing-backed chair and sipped his tea.

“Giles?” Buffy asked, wondering what he was doing there.

“Oh, Buffy, I’m so glad you’re here,” Giles said, setting down his tea cup.  “He’s coming, you know.  So, you have to be ready.  Biscuit?” Giles said, holding out the silver tray.

“No…thank you,” Buffy said, walking past Giles, to descend into the area near the Hellmouth.

Down on the lowest level, Buffy found Willow standing at an artist’s easel.  On her easel was a large newsprint pad with a boldly-painted outline of an equilateral triangle.  Around Willow were discarded pages of newsprint with similar triangles on them.  When Willow saw Buffy, she grinned excitedly and put down her palette and brush.

“Buffy, tell me,” Willow said, picking up one of the abandoned pages.  Willow held up the sheet so that Buffy could see.  The triangle had its point on the top.  “Should it go like this?”  Then she rotated the page so that the second point was at the top.  “Or like this?”  Then she rotated the page again so that the third point was at the top.  “Or like this?”  Willow waited expectantly for Buffy’s answer.

“Ummm…it doesn’t matter,” Buffy replied.  “They’re all the same.”

“That’s what I thought,” Willow said, pleased to have her opinion confirmed.  Then she went right back to her painting.

Buffy moved past Willow and headed for the crack in the foundation that led to the Hellmouth.  She noticed the light pulsing from it and felt the stone beneath her feet vibrating.  She eased towards the edge and looked down into the Hellmouth.

“He’s coming,” someone said in a soft feminine whisper.

Buffy turned from the Hellmouth to find Tara standing before her.

“How do I stop him?” Buffy asked.

Tara moved closer and placed her palm gently on Buffy’s chest. 

“Follow your heart,” Tara answered.

At Tara’s words, Buffy suddenly awoke in her hospital bed.  She sat up and looked around the room, unnerved by her dream.  She pulled Mr. Gordo into her arms and held him tightly.

*     *     *

Buffy rapped her fingers on the bed railing and glanced at the door.  Then she walked to the window and looked out.  She walked back to the bed.

This room is too small for pacing, Buffy complained to herself.

Just then, Buffy heard a knock on the door.  Here goes, she thought.  “Come in,” she called towards the door.

Riley slipped inside.  He smiled when he saw Buffy dressed and standing near the bed.  He walked in and stood on the other side of the bed across from Buffy.

“Well, look at you,” Riley said proudly.

“Yeah, I’m feeling much better,” Buffy said.  “I’m getting to go home today.”

“I can’t believe it,” Riley said.  “Just a few days ago, you were…and now…”

“It’s that good ole Slayer healing,” Buffy said.  “It definitely comes in handy.”

“Wish I had some of that,” Riley replied.

After Riley’s reply, an awkwardness set in, and the two of them shifted restlessly on their feet, looking at each other only occasionally in short nervous glances.  Finally, Riley clenched his jaw and spoke.

“When you called, you said you wanted to talk,” Riley prompted.

“Yeah,” Buffy said.  “It’s just…I can’t.”

“You can’t talk?” Riley asked, confused.

“No, I can’t…see you anymore,” Buffy clarified.

“I figured this was coming…the way you sounded on the phone,” Riley said.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said softly.

“I just don’t get it,” Riley said. “I know you like me, and it’s not like we don’t have anything in common.”

“It’s not you, Riley, it’s me,” Buffy replied.

“Oh, god, not that line,” Riley grumbled.  “Every time someone says ‘it’s not you,’ that only means that it is you.  I guess next you’ll say ‘let’s just be friends’.”

“I hope we can be friends, Riley, I really do,” Buffy said sincerely.  “But I want you to understand that this is not about you.  You are not the problem here.  I am.  You’re a great guy.  And, yes, you work for a secret government agency that I’m not sure I trust, but that’s not the issue.  The issue is…I’ve got some baggage, some heavy-duty baggage that I haven’t dealt with yet.  I thought I had, but--”

“Can’t we work on it together?” Riley asked. “That’s what people do, they help each other.”

“No, we can’t,” Buffy insisted.  “You see…there’s someone else, someone that I--”  Buffy stopped and took a deep breath.  “There’s someone else,” she just said finally.

Riley clenched his fists, getting the picture.  “You should have told me,” he said.

“I couldn’t…I didn’t even…I wasn’t even sure that…I mean, I thought that it was…” Buffy tried to explain.  Then she sighed and hung her head.  “You’re right.  I should have.  I’m sorry.”

“I’m gonna go now,” Riley said, heading for the door.  Then he turned back.  “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he said simply.  Then he left the room.

Buffy watched Riley go.  She hurt inside, knowing that she had hurt him.  But she knew that she had done the right thing.  She couldn’t pursue a relationship with Riley when her heart clearly wasn’t in it.

That was the easy part, Buffy thought to herself.  The hard part’s gonna be when I try to talk to Willow.  God, please don’t let her freak!

Buffy plopped on the bench seat next to the bed and looked at her watch.  She still had a couple of hours at least before her mother was due to arrive to check her out.  She groaned in frustration.  She couldn’t imagine waiting here for another two hours.

I’ll just call Mom and take a cab back to the dorm, she finally decided, heading for the phone.

*     *     *

Lindsey entered the Sunnydale hospital and went directly to the information desk.  He smiled at the young woman when she looked up.

“I’m here to see Buffy Summers,” Lindsey said.  “Can you tell me what room she’s in?”

“Sure,” the young woman said cheerfully.  “Just give me a sec to look her up.”

She moved to the computer terminal and clicked her mouse several times.

“She’s in room 326,” the young woman said.  “You just go down this hallway to the elevators.  When you get to the third floor, just follow the signs.”

“Thank you,” Lindsey said with another smile.

As Lindsey passed the information desk and headed for the elevators, his smile faded away, and his face hardened.

*     *     *

Lindsey exited the hospital elevator onto the third floor.  He read the signs on the wall then turned right and followed the corridor of rooms on that side.  When he reached the nurses’ station, he glanced about nervously.  The nurse at the desk looked up and made eye contact.  He smiled at her, and she went straight back to her work, not giving him a second thought.  He kept moving down the corridor.

He finally came to room 326.  It was the last room on that side, right next to the emergency stairs.  He took a deep breath and knocked.  There was no answer.  Lindsey looked back towards the nurses’ station, but no one was in the corridor.  He quietly pushed the door open and sneaked into Buffy’s room.

Once inside, he eased the door shut.  The bathroom door was open, and the light was on, but no one was inside.  He crept past the bathroom and peeked inside the main part of the room.  Lindsey expected to find Buffy in the bed, sleeping soundly.  What he discovered was an empty room.

“Damn!” Lindsey said, shaking his head, wondering where the Slayer had gotten to now.

*     *     *

Lindsey headed back down the corridor to the nurses’ station.  He stopped at the desk.  The same nurse he had seen earlier was still there.

“Excuse me,” Lindsey asked, “I came to see Buffy Summers in room 326, but she’s not there.  Do you have any idea where she is?”

“Oh, you just missed her,” the nurse answered.  “She left just a little while ago.  I’m surprised she was able to leave at all.”

“Oh?” Lindsey asked.

“When they first brought her in, I thought for sure she’d be here for a week or two at least,” the nurse said, “but she got better, practically overnight.  It’s a miracle really.”

“She’s a remarkable girl,” Lindsay said. “Very special.”

“She certainly is,” the nurse agreed.  “And so loved.  Why her family and friends were here day and night staying with her!  How did you manage to miss out?”

“I’m from out of town,” Lindsey explained.  “I only just heard about her…accident.”

“I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you,” the nurse said.

“I’m sure she will,” Lindsey said with an evil little smirk.  “Thanks for your help,” he told the nurse.  Then he headed for the elevators.

*     *     *

With Tara at her side, Willow unlocked the door to the dorm room she shared with Buffy.  Once the door was open, the two witches went inside.

“Thanks again for coming over,” Willow said to Tara. “I know we’re both supposed to be in class, but Buffy will be here this afternoon, and I’d really like to surprise her.”

“You’re welcome,” Tara said sweetly. “I’m happy to help.”

Willow picked up a bag and pulled a long banner from it.  She held the banner up for Tara to read.  “What do you think?” Willow asked.

“ ‘Welcome Back Buffy!’ ” Tara read from the banner.  “Looks great,” Tara said encouragingly.

“Good,” Willow said, relieved.  “I thought maybe we’d straighten up a little and--”

“Sorry, I don’t go straight for anyone,” Tara said, teasing.

“Very funny,” Willow replied, rolling her eyes.  “As I was saying, I thought we’d clean up a little first and then put up the decorations.  I figured the big banner could go outside, over the door, and the rest could go in here.  What do you think?”

After Tara nodded in agreement, the two witches started cleaning.  They dusted and swept, gathered dirty clothes and picked up garbage.  The room didn’t need a lot of cleaning.  Neither Willow nor Buffy was an especially messy roommate.  Willow was insistent, however.  She wanted everything perfect for when Buffy came back.

Tara paused in her cleaning by Buffy’s closet and looked back at Willow, who was picking up some trash under her desk.  Tara could tell that Willow was worried about Buffy’s return.  Tara could sense it in Willow’s energy.  Tara felt her doubts come flooding back.  She thought of how anxious Willow had been when Riley was visiting Buffy, how Willow and Buffy had stared at each other, and how their auras had intertwined.  Then she thought of how Willow had abruptly separated herself from Tara when Riley had come knocking.

She doesn’t want her friends to know about the two of you, Tara’s critical self whispered to her.  She’s ashamed.

No, that’s not true, Tara thought firmly, returning to her work near Buffy’s closet.

Then why hasn’t she said anything?

She’s just confused, that’s all.  She just needs time.

Time for what?  How long does it take? her critical self countered.

Tara didn’t know how to answer.

She’s probably not gay at all, Tara’s critical self said.  She’s probably just experimenting.  College girls do that, you know.  Yeah, she’ll have her little thrill and then head back to boys’ town.  That’s why she’s hedging her bets now.

Tara felt a pang in her heart as she was assailed by her doubts.  She stopped working again.  She placed her hand on her heart and tried to drive the doubts away.

Willow picked up the now-full garbage can and headed for the door.  She started to open the door, intending to go down the hall to empty the can.  She stopped suddenly when she felt her chest constrict.  She left the door cracked and placed her hand on her chest.  It was like what she had felt when Buffy had been hurt, but not as strong.  Willow concentrated on the feeling.  Then she slowly turned to Tara, knowing instinctively that it was coming from her.

Tara was standing at Buffy’s closet, with her back to Willow, seemingly deep in thought.  Willow put down the garbage can and went to Tara.

“Tara?” Willow asked softly.

Tara jumped a little, startled by Willow’s arrival.  She turned around, her hand still on her chest.  “You s-s-scared me,” she said.

“Sorry,” Willow said.

“What is it?” Tara asked, fidgeting in place, moving her arms into different positions and not meeting Willow’s eyes.

“That’s what I was going to ask you,” Willow said.  “Is something wrong?”

“N-N-No,” Tara denied, crossing her arms tightly.  “Why would you think something was wrong?”

“I just…” Willow said, trailing off. 

Willow looked at Tara intently, but she could feel Tara’s walls slamming into place.  Willow was unsure of what to do.  She knew something was wrong, but she wasn’t sure if she should press Tara about it or just let it slide.  She decided a little pressing couldn’t hurt.  She moved closer to Tara.  She reached out and stroked Tara’s arm.

“There is something wrong,” Willow insisted gently.  “I know ‘cause I can feel it.”

Tara dropped her eyes and shook her head.  Willow lifted Tara’s chin so that she could look at her.

“Please,” Willow begged.  “Tell me what it is.”

Tara released her arms and sighed deeply.  “It’s nothing,” she said.  “Really.”

“I don’t believe you,” Willow said, taking Tara’s arm and leading her to sit on the side of Buffy’s bed.  “Tell me.”

“I just…I just n-n-need to know how you w-w-want me to act, you know, around your friends,” Tara finally managed to stammer.

“How to act?” Willow asked, confused.

“When we were in the emergency room, you didn’t s-s-seem to mind me t-t-touching you, but when Riley came to Buffy’s room, you pulled away.”  Tara hung her head once again.  “So, I just need to know, you know, h-h-how you want me to be.”

Willow could feel the pain emanating from Tara, and she was instantly sorry for causing it.  She had pulled away when Riley had come in.  And she wasn’t sure why.  It’d been an instinctive response, one based in fear.  Fear of what, she wondered.  Rejection?  Ridicule?  Did she really expect that from her friends?  She wasn’t sure.  What was she sure of?

Tara.  That’s what she was sure of.  If there was one thing Willow was certain of, it was that she loved the beautiful blonde beside her and that she wanted to be with her, no matter what.  She just needed to convince Tara of that.

“Tara,” Willow began softly, “I’m sorry for pulling away at the hospital.  I shouldn’t have done that.  I didn’t really want to do it.  I just reacted, without thinking.”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Tara said, looking at Willow once again.

“No, it’s not okay,” Willow disagreed. “It was wrong, and I don’t want you thinking that you have to ‘act’ when my friends are around.”

“I just m-m-meant that I understand if you don’t want to t-t-tell them about us,” Tara said.  “And I’m okay with that.”

Willow looked at Tara.  She wondered who had hurt Tara so deeply that she would settle for a secret relationship, as if she would always be second-best and had to be happy with whatever she could get.

“Tara,” Willow said, squeezing Tara’s hand until she looked up, “I do want to tell them, and I’m going to, I promise.  It just may take me a little while.  I’m…”  Willow paused, lowering her head.  “I’m scared,” she said finally.  Willow chuckled ruefully then looked up.  “Stupid, huh?  I mean, I can face anything the Hellmouth can throw at me, but I can’t face my best friends and tell them I’ve got a girlfriend!”

“It’s not stupid,” Tara responded firmly.  “It’s normal to be afraid.  This is so new for you.  But I have to tell you, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.  I think your friends will take it just fine.  They love you.  Nothing is going to change that.”

“Please don’t be mad at me,” Willow said, her eyes pleading with Tara, “but I need just a little longer.  And please don’t think that I’m ashamed of us, ‘cause I’m not.”  Willow lifted her hand and caressed Tara’s cheek.  “I want this.  I want you, so much!”

Willow leaned in quickly and kissed Tara, trying to put all of her love and desire into that one kiss.  Tara responded in kind, kissing Willow deeply, wrapping her arms around the redhead.  Doubts, reservations, fears, and worries all fell away in the wake of the two witches’ passion.  While it washed over them, nothing else mattered.

*     *     *

Outside Stevenson dorm, Buffy paid the driver and got out of the cab.  She carried her bag in one hand and Mr. Gordo in the other.  As she walked in the dorm and made her way to her room, she mentally rehearsed her plan.

Okay, while Willow’s in class, I’ll get unpacked and get settled in, Buffy thought.  Then, when Willow gets out of class, I’ll tell her that we need to talk.  Or that I need to talk.  No, I’ll tell her that I need to tell her something.  Arrgghh!  I thought I had this all worked out! 

Buffy came out of the stairwell and moved towards her door.  She didn’t even register that it was already open; she just pushed the door and walked in. 

Okay, while Willow’s in class-- Buffy’s thoughts were stopped dead in their tracks when she looked up into her room.

Willow and Tara were sitting on Buffy’s bed, kissing passionately.  Buffy dropped her bag in surprise.

When they heard the bag hit the floor, Willow and Tara jumped in fright and immediately pulled apart.  Willow stood and made a step towards Buffy.  Tara stayed seated and hung her head, hiding behind her hair.

“Buffy!” Willow said nervously, “W-w-what are you doing here?  I mean, we weren’t expecting you until later.  Not that we’re not glad to see you, ‘cause we are.  I mean, yea! You’re back!”

“I…ummm…couldn’t stand waiting any more,” Buffy said, her eyes darting about, “so I just called a cab.”

“Good…that’s…great,” Willow replied, wringing her hands, “I know you were probably going stir crazy in there, and everything.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said.

The conversation stalled, and the two roommates stood awkwardly looking in any direction but each other.  Tara ventured a glance.  Seeing the stalemate, Tara decided a hasty retreat was in order.  She stood up and started towards the door.

“I…ummm…” Tara mumbled, “I’m just…gonna go.” 

Before anyone could stop her, Tara dashed from the room, leaving Willow and Buffy alone.

Willow and Buffy remained silent.  Willow sat back down on Buffy’s bed, not looking at Buffy.  She stared at her hands.  Buffy looked at Willow, shook her head, and took a deep breath.  Then she went and sat on Willow’s bed, facing her roommate.  Still, neither one spoke.

Finally, Willow whispered, “This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you.”  Willow lifted her eyes to Buffy.  “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Buffy said sympathetically, “It’s okay.”

Once more the conversation lagged.  Willow began wringing her hands again, and Buffy pressed Mr. Gordo tightly to her chest.  After a few moments of anxious squirming, Buffy broke the silence.

“So…you and Tara…you’re…ummm…you’re…” Buffy trailed off.

“Yeah,” Willow replied quickly, wanting to ease Buffy’s discomfort at putting it into words.

“Oh,” Buffy said.  “So…does that mean you’re a-a-a…”

“Lesbian?” Willow supplied.  When Buffy nodded, Willow continued, “I-I-I don’t know.  Maybe.  Is that…going to be a problem…between you and me?”

Willow dropped her eyes, afraid of what she would see in her best friend’s eyes. 

Buffy glanced at her roommate.  She had never seen the redhead looking so fragile, so vulnerable.  No matter what Buffy herself was going through, she didn’t want Willow to feel rejected.  So Buffy pushed down her own anguish and buried it under a layer of be-the-best-friend and do-the-right-thing.  Buffy got up and moved to sit beside Willow, setting Mr. Gordo on her pillow.  She took Willow’s hand and held it until Willow lifted her eyes.

“No,” Buffy said softly but certainly.  “Absolutely no to that question.”  Buffy smiled weakly.  “I’m shocked, maybe even a little freaked,” Buffy admitted, “but I promise you, it’s just a momentary wiggins.  I would never let something like that hurt our friendship.  Nothing in this world means more to me than our friendship.”

“Oh, god, Buffy!” Willow exclaimed, hugging Buffy tightly.  “Thank you, thank you so much for understanding.”  When the two girls separated, Willow continued, “I wanted to tell you, but I was so scared.”

“Will, you can tell me anything,” Buffy assured her.

Willow laughed nervously, then smiled, then wiped the tears from her face.  But as before, the room became awkwardly silent.  Buffy decided to plunge in.

“So, you really like Tara a lot, huh?” Buffy asked.

“Yes, I really do,” Willow said, suddenly beaming. 

There it is, Buffy thought. The Tara-glowage.

“There’s something very powerful between us,” Willow explained.  “I-I-It wasn’t something I was looking for.  But it’s there.  And it’s totally different from what Oz and I had.”

“I think Tara’s a great girl, Will,” Buffy said reassuringly.  “Does…anyone else know?” Buffy inquired.

“Oh…god, no,” Willow said firmly.  “If I couldn’t even tell you, I sure couldn’t tell Giles or Xander or my par-- Oh my god, my parents!”

Willow jumped to her feet and began pacing about the room.  “They are so gonna freak!” Willow exclaimed.  “I-I-It was bad enough when they found out I was a witch and then dating a musician a-a-and then choosing to come here instead of Oxford or Harvard or MIT.  They are gonna go ballistic…”

Buffy sighed and settled in.  She was in for a marathon Willow-rant, and she knew it.  Buffy felt her pain beginning to push through, but she willed it back down again.  She couldn’t lose it, not here, not now.  She’d wait, until later, when she was alone.

*     *     *

Lindsey stuck his head out of the emergency stairwell on the third floor and glanced around.  Satisfied that no one was about, he exited the stairwell.  Then he held the door open, allowing Zephenia to enter the hallway.  The old crone bobbed her head and hummed to herself as Lindsey pulled her into the hospital room most recently occupied by Buffy Summers.

“Okay, Zephenia, get a quick read, then let’s get the hell out of here,” Lindsey ordered.

Zephenia showed no sign of hearing Lindsey at all.  She was mesmerized by the room itself.  She moved her hands around her as if she were touching the air itself.  Then she moved to the bed and felt the crumpled sheets and cover.

“Yes, yes, she was here, here was she, one of three, one of three,” Zephenia crooned, leaning over to rest her upper body on the bed.  “Mmmm…the Slayer…such pain…ahhh...so sweet…yes, yes, so sweet…”  Zephenia smiled as she felt the echoes of Buffy’s physical and emotional pain.

“What else?” Lindsey prodded, looking at the door nervously.

Zephenia continued to bask on Buffy’s bed.  Lindsey was quickly losing patience.  He rolled his eyes.  Right when he started to speak to her, Zephenia shot up from the bed.  She moved to the other side of the bed and resumed her air touching.  She touched the bench chair and then the bed railing.

“The three, the three,” she whispered in awe.

“What is it?” Lindsey asked excitedly.

“The three, the three, the three were here,” Zephenia said, pointing at the area where she was standing.  “Here they were, here they were!” she said with glee then she stopped.  A confused look came over her ancient features.  “Three, but not three, not yet, not yet,” she said.

“What do you mean?” Lindsey asked, grabbing the old seer by the arms.  “Tell me! Are they joined yet?”

Zephenia looked intently at Lindsey’s face.  Then she giggled and patted his face.  “Not yet, not yet,” she said.

Lindsey smiled at the news, then took Zephenia by the hand and led her from the room and back down the emergency stairs.  As the two wound their way towards the ground floor, Zephenia cackled away, “Three, but not three, not yet, not yet…hee-hee…not yet, not yet!”

*     *     *

Back in Stevenson dorm, Willow stood nervously by the door, looking back at Buffy, who stood near her bed.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Willow asked for the third time.

“I’m fine,” Buffy insisted.  “Go.”

“I just want to go tell Tara,” Willow said, “you know, about how well things went between us.  I won’t be gone long.”

“Willow, go,” Buffy ordered.  “Tara’s probably worried sick about the whole thing, so get!”

“Okay,” Willow said gratefully, then she finally left the room.

Buffy let out her breath.  She felt a lump forming in her throat and tears filling her eyes.  She swallowed and brushed her eyes with the back of her hand.  She took off her shoes, grabbed Mr. Gordo, and climbed under the covers of her bed.  Her head hadn’t even hit the pillow before the grief came gushing up.

*     *     *

Willow rushed down the stairwell, ecstatic with joy over how well things had gone with Buffy.  She couldn’t wait to tell Tara.  When Willow came out the front doors of the dormitory, she felt a sudden pang in her chest, and she stopped in place.  She turned around and looked up at the second floor windows.  Her brow furrowed with worry.  She made a step back towards the building and then stopped again.  After a moment of indecision, Willow shook her head.  Then she continued on her way to Tara’s dorm.

*     *     *

Tara paced about her room, trying unsuccessfully to get her emotions under control.

This is bad, she thought, sooo bad.  Buffy was totally freaked!

Okay, okay, just calm down, Tara told herself. You just got through telling Willow that her friends would accept her no matter what.  They’re probably fine, both of them.

Tara made herself sit down and breathe.

They’ll talk it out, like mature adults, like true best friends, and everything will be fine.

Tara closed her eyes, deciding to just shut up and send Willow and Buffy some positive energy.  She regulated her breathing and concentrated.  Soon she began pulling energy from the earth, blessing it, and sending it on its way to Willow and Buffy.

Moments later, Tara gasped when a sharp pain struck her chest.  For split second, there was agony, and then nothing, and then a building excitement.  She immediately ceased her meditation.  Her hand went to her heart, and she wondered what in the world had just happened. 

Her musings on the matter were interrupted when she heard someone knocking at her door.  Tara  got up and opened the door.  She barely had time to smile before she was attacked by a grinning redhead.

Willow threw her arms around Tara and kissed her soundly and repeatedly.  “You were right, you were right!” Willow said between kisses.

“About what?” Tara said, pulling out of Willow’s embrace long enough to ask her question and to guide them to the bed to sit down.

“About Buffy,” Willow replied.  “She was sooo cool about it.  I should’ve known better, I mean, we’ve been friends for so long, I don’t know why I didn’t trust that.  She was a little freaked, but who wouldn’t be, walking in on us like that, but…”

Tara sighed and settled in against her pillows.  She hadn’t known Willow that long, but she knew a major babble-fest when she heard one.  She smiled indulgently, just happy that things had gone well.

*     *     *

Buffy didn’t know how long she had been crying.  It seemed like hours.  She knew Willow would be back eventually, and she didn’t want Willow to see her like this.

She’d want to know why, Buffy thought, and I wouldn’t know what to say.

“Oh, I’m just totally crushed and devastated because I’m in love with you and can’t have you, that’s all,” Buffy said sarcastically.

God, this is so unfair!  I finally get the courage to say something, and I’m too late.

Buffy felt the tears coming again.  She flopped back down on her bed and clawed the covers in frustration as the sobs overtook her. 

Buffy was crying so hard that she didn’t hear Willow come back in the room.  She jumped when she felt Willow touch her back.

“Buffy?” Willow said with deep concern in her voice. “What is it?  What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Buffy said, not meeting Willow’s look.  “It’s nothing.  Just leave me alone.”

“Buffy, please don’t shut me out,” Willow begged.  “Tell me.  I-I-Is it about me, what we talked about earlier…”

Buffy cringed inside.  What do I say?  I can’t tell her the truth!

“No, it’s not that,” Buffy lied.

Buffy sat up and put some distance between herself and Willow.  She pulled Mr. Gordo into her lap.  “It’s just…everything.  I almost died…again!  And…it was different this time.  It hurt…so much…and then…”

“What?” Willow whispered encouragingly.

“I…ummm…I broke it off with Riley,” Buffy said hurriedly.  “This morning.”

“Buffy!” Willow scolded.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We kinda had our plate full with other stuff,” Buffy answered.

“Still, you should have said something,” Willow insisted.  “I wouldn’t have stayed gone so long.”

“It’s okay, I kinda needed some alone-time with it,” Buffy replied.

“What happened? What did you say?” Willow asked.

“I really don’t wanna do the play-by-play right now, Will,” Buffy said wearily.

“Oh, okay,” Willow said, understanding.  “But I want you to know that I’m here for you, when you’re ready,” Willow said, reaching for Buffy’s hand and giving it a quick squeeze.

Buffy met Willow’s eyes, smiled, and nodded, grateful that Willow hadn’t tried to hug her.  She would’ve lost it again for sure, then.

“I’m just gonna try and get some sleep,” Buffy said.  “I’m really tired.  Could you get the light for me?”

“Sure, no problem,” Willow said, quickly rising to turn off the overhead light.

When Willow returned, Buffy was already in her bed, tucked under the covers, facing away from Willow.  Willow frowned then turned back to her side of the room to attempt some studying.

*     *     *

Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies sat around Giles’ living room, listening intently as Buffy described the dream she’d had while she was still in the hospital.

“So, what do you think?” Buffy asked the group once she was finished.

“I was looking at a porn mag?” Xander asked accusingly.  “Is that really what you think I spend all my--”

“Which one was it?” Anya interrupted.  “Xander has so many.  I’ve told him he doesn’t need those now that I’m around.  Was it the one with--”

“Okay!” Xander said, clamping a hand over Anya’s mouth. “Moving on, now.”

“Thank you,” Giles said exasperatedly. “I would venture that it’s the Hellmouth that’s important here.  You said it was glowing and vibrating?”

“Yeah, like it was about to open up,” Buffy said ominously.

“And the dream-Giles told you that something was coming?” Willow asked.

“Not a something…a someone,” Buffy clarified before turning to her Watcher.  “I’m worried, Giles, this sounds big.”

“Why does it always have to be ‘let’s open the Hellmouth’ ?” Xander complained. 

“Well, it is Sunnydale’s most attractive commodity,” Anya said matter-of-factly.  “If you’re on the side of evil, that is,” she added when the group glared at her.

Xander sighed at his girlfriend then continued: “I mean, just for once, I’d like a demon to come to town and just want to do something only barely naughty.  Like, make everyone sing songs from Broadway shows.”

Buffy and Giles and Anya just rolled their eyes, but Willow got a look of terror in her eyes.

“Don’t even say that!” Willow said to Xander, flashing back to her opera nightmare.

“So, what’s the plan?” Buffy said to Giles, hoping to get the conversation back on track.

“Well, we should research the Hellmouth,” Giles replied, “and see what we can find about how it can be opened.”

“Okay, then,” Buffy responded, “let’s hit the books.”

Everyone rose to gather books from Giles’ shelves so that they could begin the research.

“Wait!” Willow said sharply, freezing everyone in place.  “Sorry,” she said in apology. 

Then she motioned everyone to sit back down, and they did.  Willow looked over at Buffy with fear on her face.  Buffy realized what Willow intended.  Buffy smiled and nodded in encouragement.

“I…ummm…I have something to tell you all, and it’s not going to be easy for me, so please bear with me,” Willow said.

Willow stopped and took a deep breath.  Then she walked over to Xander.

“First of all,” Willow said, “Xander, I want to apologize to you for not telling you first, when we were alone, I mean, you’re my best friend, since like forever, and if anybody should’ve been told first, it was you, but it just didn’t turn out that way, and I’m sorry for that, but I didn’t think I’d have the courage to go through three or four separate confessions, so I’m telling you all at the same time.  Okay?”

“Did she even breathe through all of that?” Anya asked Xander.

“Will, it’s okay, just spill,” Xander said, ignoring Anya’s comment.  “You can tell us anything, right Buffy?”

“Oh, Buffy already knows,” Willow said.

“What?  You could tell Buffy, but you couldn’t tell me?” Xander asked in a hurt voice.

“No…no!” Willow said.  “Buffy found out by accident, otherwise she’d be finding out now, too.”

“Find…out…what?” Xander asked, slowly emphasizing each word.

“Now, let’s not press Willow too harshly,” Giles said to the group.  “This is hard for her, she said, so let’s be supportive.”  Then Giles turned to Willow.  “Go ahead, Willow.  Take your time.”

Willow smiled gratefully at Giles then took another deep breath.

“Okay, I-I-I know it hasn’t been that long since Oz left,” Willow said, “but I wanted to tell you that…well…I’m seeing someone.”  Willow paused to let this information sink in.

Xander blinked his eyes and looked around.  “That’s it?” Xander asked.  “That’s what you had to tell us that you were so worried about?  Will, we want nothing but the best for you, you know that.  Oz is our friend, but he’s gone, and if you’ve found some other guy that you’re interested in, that makes you happy, then we’re happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Willow said softly, hanging her head.  “I have found someone that makes me happy, but it’s not…it’s not a guy.”

“Oh, god, it’s not a vampire, is it?” Anya asked.

“Dear lord!” Giles said.

“No, of course not, I--” Willow replied quickly.

“ ‘Cause I would sincerely hope that you had learned from your best friend’s doomed romance that--” Anya continued.

“Hey, sitting right here!” Buffy interjected in annoyance.

“It’s not a vampire!” Willow shouted, silencing her friends.

“Then what?” Xander asked.

“It’s a girl,” Willow said finally.  “I’m dating another woman.”

“I told you so!” Anya said, slapping Xander’s arm.  Then she turned to Willow.  “It’s Tara, isn’t it?”

Willow nodded in affirmation.

“I knew it!  I was right!  I was right!” Anya crowed proudly.

Willow pulled her eyes from the bragging ex-demon and looked at Xander and Giles.  Giles was polishing his glasses.  No surprise there.  But Xander was just staring, locked in place with his mouth wide open.  Willow frowned in pain at his reaction.  She felt tears coming down her cheeks.  Willow knelt in front of Xander and put her hand on his knee.  He didn’t respond to her touch.  She pulled her hand away and dropped her eyes to the floor.

“Please don’t hate me, Xander,” Willow said in a choked voice.

Slowly, Xander turned his face to hers.  He reached out and lifted her chin.  As he looked into her eyes, he cupped her face and wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb.

“Hate you?” Xander asked softly.  “I could never hate you, Will.  I love you.  You’re my best friend, and I will always love you, no matter who you date.”  Xander grinned and shrugged.  “Well, unless it’s Spike.  I’d have to draw the line at Spike.”

Willow laughed in relief and hugged Xander tightly.  “Thank you, thank you!  For understanding!” 

Anya looked at the two best friends hugging warmly.  Then she looked at the rest of the group.  “Don’t worry,” she told them.  “Willow’s gay now.  I am unthreatened.”

Willow pulled out of her hug with Xander and stepped back.  She looked at Giles once again.  The Watcher had returned his glasses to their place and was smiling at her.

“Tara seems like a wonderful person, Willow,” Giles said. “I’m very happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Willow said before turning to Buffy and smiling.

Buffy returned the smile, though inside she was crying, realizing that the redhead was lost to her forever now.  Willow looked at her roommate curiously, sensing something slightly amiss.  Buffy cut off the witch’s perusal.

“Time to get with the readin’,” Buffy reminded the group.

The Scoobies reluctantly returned to the task of claiming books from Giles’ extensive library, knowing they were in for a long session of research.  As Buffy sat down with her stack of books, she fought off the sadness threatening to overtake her.

*     *     *

Lindsey plopped into the sofa in his hotel suite and exhaled.  Then he scooted to the edge of the sofa and picked up the nearby phone.  He punched in the necessary numbers and waited.

“Yes?” the Senior Partner answered.

“I have an update, sir,” Lindsey said.

“Continue,” the Senior Partner said.

“The Slayer is definitely one of the Three,” Lindsey said, “and Zephenia says that they haven’t joined yet.”

“And?” the Senior Partner said, in a drawn-out tone, clearly indicating that he expected much more.

Lindsey swallowed nervously.  “So, there’s still time to…ummm…make sure they don’t.”

“And who are the other two parts of this little trio?” the Senior Partner pressed.

“Ummm…I haven’t…as yet…determined who exactly,” Lindsey admitted, “but I know they’re part of her inner her circle.  Zephenia--”

“Find them, Lindsey!” the Senior Partner barked impatiently.  “And as soon as you know who they are, inform us immediately.”

“Yes, sir!” Lindsey responded quickly.

When he hung up the phone, Lindsey let out a breath.  He knew how important this assignment was and how dangerous it would be to fail.  He had no intention of failing.

Time to spy, he thought.

*     *     *

A week later, the Scoobies were no closer to tracing the clues from Buffy’s dream about the Hellmouth than they had been before they began.  Even with Tara’s additional assistance in the research, they had found nothing useful.  Buffy’s dream hadn’t returned, and no other unusual events had occurred.   Although she suspected the others were beginning to think that her dream wasn’t a special Slayer dream, Buffy knew otherwise.  The dream was a portent, and a big one at that, and they were clueless about what it meant or how to stop whatever or whoever was coming.  Buffy was getting frustrated.

And not just because of the research dead end.  Willow’s coming out had pushed her relationship with Tara into the open, where Buffy was constantly exposed to it, reminded over and over of what she wanted but couldn’t have.  Buffy sank into a deep depression.

Meanwhile, Willow and Tara were basking in the mutual glowage of their new relationship.  In their alone time, they talked and touched, kissed and caressed, going from calm contentment to giddy joy and back again. 

Despite her cloud-nine condition, Willow didn’t fail to notice Buffy’s darkening mood.  Willow could sense what was going on, but her attempts to engage Buffy in a discussion of it were either ignored or deflected by the Slayer.  Riley had made himself scarce, and Willow suspected that Buffy’s depression had more to do with her personal situation than with the Hellmouth.

Willow said as much to Tara one morning as they ate breakfast in the dining hall on campus.  As Tara ate her pancakes and looked on sympathetically, Willow spread some cream cheese on the second half of her bagel and continued pouring out her concerns about her roommate.

“I’m really worried,” Willow told Tara.  “She’s getting worse, I think.  She sits in class like a zombie, not even taking notes.  And that’s only when she actually goes to class.  Then she comes back to the room and goes to bed until it’s time to patrol.  Then she stays out all night, by herself, even though I’ve begged her not to.  I mean, she just got out of the hospital for goodness’ sake!  Then she just comes back and crashes.”

“Did you see her this morning?” Tara asked.

“Yeah, right before I came here, when I was getting ready,” Willow answered.  “I asked her to come to breakfast with me, but she said she had to shower and get some sleep.  I finally just grabbed her and ordered her to come to breakfast.”

Tara’s eyes widened at the thought of Willow ordering the Slayer to do anything.  “What did she say?” Tara inquired.

“She looked surprised that I got so harsh with her,” Willow replied.  “Then she just said, ‘Okay, let me shower first.’  I said ‘Fine, but I’ll be waiting on you at the cafeteria.’  She nodded and trudged off to the bathroom.”

Willow turned and looked at the entrance to the dining hall.  Once again not seeing her roommate, she turned back to Tara and chomped into her bagel.

Tara watched with amusement as Willow angrily consumed her bagel.  She imagined Willow’s internal dialogue: Take that, you stupid bagel! I’ll show you who’s boss!  As Willow triumphantly popped the final bite into her mouth, Tara couldn’t help but giggle.

“What?” Willow asked, seeing Tara looking at her with the cutest half-smile.  “What are you laughing at?”

Tara was saved from answering when she saw Buffy enter the dining hall from the food line.  She waved to get the Slayer’s attention, and Willow turned to see Buffy headed their way.  Willow sighed in relief.  Buffy joined them and set her tray onto the table.

“Feel better after your shower?” Willow asked.

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “I still need some sleep, though.”

“Well, you need to eat, too,” Willow replied.  “I know how much food it takes to keep a Slayer going, so chow down.”

Buffy opened her milk and started in on her pancakes.  She didn’t have much of an appetite, but she knew Willow was right.  She needed food to do her job, so she’d force it down out of necessity.

“So, Buffy, anything interesting happen on patrol last night?” Tara asked.

“Mmm…dusted a couple of vamps, that’s about it,” Buffy replied flatly.

Buffy turned her attention back to her food, and the table became silent for a time.

“Hey…ummm…Buffy?” Willow asked, getting her roommate’s attention.  “I think you should come to the Bronze with me and Tara tonight.”

“Ehhh…not really in the mood, Willow,” Buffy said, frowning.  “Besides, I have to patrol.”

“But that’s why we need you to come,” Willow said, beginning her lie.  “We…ummm…we saw a…ummm…vampire there…the other night.  Didn’t we, Tara?”

“Oh…yes!” Tara said, catching on, but being a no-better liar.  “We did!  A vampire…right there at the Bronze…the other night…when we were there.”

Buffy looked at her friends and merely raised her eyebrows in response.  That was all the accusing she had to do.

“Okay, okay!” Willow caved. “We didn’t see a vampire at the Bronze.  But they go there all the time, you know.  A-A-And we’re going tonight, and we’d feel sooo much safer if you’d come with us.”

Willow followed up her plea with a well-placed batting of the eyes.  Buffy felt an involuntary grin spreading across her face.  She tightened it down and just rolled her eyes and sighed.

Willow’s pulling out all the big guns today, Buffy thought to herself.  First, the grandmother of all resolve faces this morning.  And now the pretty-please-can-I-keep-the-puppy eye batting routine.  I’d better say yes.  Otherwise, I’ll be subjected to little-miss-pouty-lip next.

“Ohhh-kkkaay,” Buffy groaned in agreement.  “What time?”

“Eight o’clock,” Willow said, clapping her hands in glee.  Then she looked at her watch in alarm.  “Oh!  I’m gonna be late for class!  I gotta run!”  Willow grabbed her backpack, kissed Tara quickly, then picked up her tray.  “I’ll see you guys later!” she said as she headed for the exit.

As Tara turned from watching Willow leave, she saw Buffy watching the redhead as well.  Before Buffy stopped her stare, Tara focused her inner eye and really looked at Buffy.  That was when she saw it.  It lasted for only a few seconds before Buffy clamped it down and brought her eyes back to the table.  Tara released her focus and smiled quickly, not wanting to give away her discovery of the Slayer’s secret. 

Shortly after Willow had left, Buffy finished her breakfast and excused herself, claiming a serious need for sleep.  Tara herself felt a sudden longing for her own bed.  She didn’t feel like sleeping, though.  She felt like crying.  Now that she was aware of the real cause of Buffy’s depression, Tara knew what she had to do.

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