THE POWER OF THREE
PART EIGHT
By DragonWriter17
 

Rating: PG-13 through Part 10, R after that

Disclaimer: All of the materials borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel belong to Joss Whedon and to the entities and companies associated with their creation.  I have borrowed them for creative and entertainment purposes only.  No compensation has been or ever shall be received for the writing below.  No copyright infringement is intended.

My Website: http://www.oocities.org/dragonwriter17/

Feedback: Yes, but only if it’s of the non-flamey variety: DragonWriter17@aol.com

Distribution: The Mystic Muse, Near Her Always  (If you are interested in posting my story on your site, please contact me first for permission.)

Spoilers: The end of BtVS Season 4’s “Wild At Heart” and beyond.

Pairings: Willow/Buffy/Tara

Author’s Notes: I have kept to the BtVS/Angel canon in some ways, borrowing directly from aired episodes; however, I have also made significant changes: deleting certain storylines, moving some, changing others, as well as adding some completely original plots.  You may want to read my stand-alone story “Out Of Shadow Into Light,” which tells my version of Tara’s life prior to her arrival in Sunnydale; it is the backstory for Tara for this series.

Number of Chapters: 13

Complete: 1-12

Series Summary: After Oz leaves Sunnydale, Willow turns to best friend, Buffy, and new friend, Tara, for comfort, resulting in a remarkable new relationship for all three.  Amidst the daily dangers of life on the Hellmouth, the three women forge bravely ahead, unaware that their relationship has been predestined. 

Chapter Summary: Knowing that Willow and Buffy care deeply for each other, Tara forces the two roommates to admit their feelings.  As a result, Willow is placed in the awkward position of having to choose between her two loves.  Meanwhile, Lindsey continues to track Buffy and her companions in an effort to decipher the powerful prophecy of “The Power of Three.”  An old enemy returns.
 

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PART ONE       PART TWO       PART THREE       PART FOUR       PART FIVE      

PART SIX       PART SEVEN       PART EIGHT       PART NINE

PART TEN       PART ELEVEN       PART TWELVE       PART THIRTEEN

PART EIGHT

Buffy was cutting across the quad at UC Sunnydale when she saw Riley headed in her direction.  She started to turn around to avoid crossing paths with her former boyfriend, but then chose not to.  She knew she had to face the uncomfortable consequences of her decision to break up with Riley.  Taking a deep breath, Buffy continued on her way. 

As she expected, Riley saw her.  He hesitated momentarily in his stride, but then resumed, as if he had just held the same fight-or-flight debate in his mind that Buffy had held in hers.

When Buffy and Riley reached each other, they stopped in place.  They both avoided eye contact.

“Hey,” Buffy said.

“Hey,” Riley said.

“How’s it going?” Buffy asked.

“Okay, I guess,” Riley answered.  “You?”

“I’m okay,” Buffy replied.

“Well, I’d better get to class,” Riley said, pointing ahead of him.

“Oh…sure…no problem,” Buffy said, stepping aside.

Buffy watched Riley’s back as he headed towards the building that housed Professor Walsh’s psychology classroom.  Buffy knew she’d done the right thing about Riley, but it still bothered her that she had hurt him.  She hoped that they would be able to be friends at some point in the future.

*     *     *

When Riley arrived at the lectorium where his psychology classes were held, he found Professor Walsh waiting on him.  As the students continued to arrive and take their seats, Walsh led Riley to the alcove in the back of the stage.

“Yes, ma’am?” Riley asked, wondering what was up.

“We’ve had a positive sighting of Hostile 17,” Walsh informed her protégé.

“Here?” Riley asked.  “He’s back in Sunnydale?”

Walsh nodded ominously.  “And he’s sans tracer, so you’ll have to track him the old-fashioned way.”

“Don’t worry, Professor Walsh, we’ll get him,” Riley promised.  “I won’t let you down again.”

Walsh patted Riley’s shoulder.  “I know you won’t,” she said reassuringly.

*     *     *

When Willow got out of class late that afternoon, she went straight over to Tara’s room.  They had about an hour before they were meeting Buffy at the Bronze for their group date.

Willow rapped a few quick knocks on the door of Tara’s room, then slipped inside.  She smiled widely when she saw her favorite witch curled up on the bed with her journal in her hands.

“You don’t have to knock, Willow,” Tara reminded her girlfriend.  “I don’t mind if you just come in.”

“I know,” Willow said, setting her backpack on the floor.  “It’s just…it seems rude not to.”

Willow joined Tara on the bed and kissed her.  “I missed you,” Willow said sweetly.

“I missed you, too,” Tara said just as sweetly.

“Writing in your journal, huh?” Willow asked.  “You do that a lot?”

Tara nodded.  “Almost every day,” she replied.  “I’ve kept a journal for, gosh, years now.”

“I’ve tried on and off,” Willow said, “but I could never keep it up for very long.”

“I like it,” Tara said.  “It helps me think.  Especially when I’ve got stuff on my mind.”

“Know what else you can do when you’ve got stuff on your mind?” Willow asked in a playful tone.

“Do something else to get it off my mind?” Tara replied in an equally playful tone, though with a sexier slant and one of her trademark mystery smiles.

“Yeah,” Willow readily agreed, leaning in to kiss Tara, but stopping herself before she got there.  “No!” Willow corrected.  “I mean, yes, I do like to do those other things, but what I was trying to say was that you can talk to me…w-w-when you’ve got stuff on your mind, that is.”

“I know,” Tara said but went no further.  After a moment, she changed the subject.  “We should probably get going.”

“Yeah,” Willow agreed, hiding her disappointment at Tara’s refusal to share what was on her mind.

*     *     *

Willow and Tara arrived at the Bronze well before 8:00.  They bought drinks, found a quiet table in the back, and waited for Buffy to get there.  The two witches hadn’t said much on their way over, and now that they had arrived, they still weren’t talking.

“I’m sorry,” Tara said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“For what?” Willow asked.

“For earlier…for not sharing,” Tara replied.

“No, it’s okay,” Willow said.  “I understand.  If it was something you wanted to tell me, you’d tell me.”

“I do want to tell you,” Tara said, reaching for Willow’s hand.  “I just needed to think about it some more first.”

“What’s it about?” Willow asked.

“Ummm…it’s about Buffy,” Tara said.

“Buffy?” Willow replied.

“Yes,” Tara said.  “I think I know w-w-what’s making her so depressed.”

“What is it?” Willow asked.

“It’s you,” Tara stated simply.

“What?” Willow exclaimed in surprise and confusion.  “You think I’m making her depressed?”  Willow pulled her hand out of Tara’s grasp.

“I don’t m-m-mean you’re doing something to her,” Tara rushed to explain.  “She’s doing it to herself because of you.”

“She’s depressed because of me?”

“Not because of you…gosh, I’m saying this all wrong,” Tara chided herself.  Then she just shook her head and spit it out.  “She’s in love with you!”

Willow looked at Tara in shock.  After a moment of frozen disbelief, she managed to croak out, “What?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but--”

“Well, it is crazy,” Willow insisted.  “Buffy is not gay.  She has always dated guys.”

“So did you, before we met,” Tara reminded Willow.

“But that doesn’t mean that--” Willow objected.

“I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Willow,” Tara said.  “And…I-I-I’ve seen the way you look at her,” she softly added.

Willow opened her mouth to shoot out a rebuttal but found that she couldn’t.  She stood up and walked away from their table.  She had to think for a minute.

Buffy in love with me?  She shook her head.  It didn’t seem possible.

Willow thought back over the last few weeks, trying to find some sign that confirmed Tara’s suspicions.  She rattled her brain, going over every word and action.  Finally, one stood out: the night Buffy had been hurt, their embrace outside Giles’ apartment, when Willow had begged her not to go face that demon alone.  Willow remembered how tightly they had held each other, how strong their connection had been, how Buffy had stared into her soul and then was gone.  She remembered, too, how she herself had wanted to kiss the Slayer and be kissed back, feelings she hadn’t allowed herself to recognize then.

“Oh, god,” Willow said, finally realizing what Tara was trying to tell her.  She turned to face Tara.  “Tara…baby,” Willow said in a choked voice, “I’m sorry.  I didn’t know.  I--”

Tara left the table and took Willow’s hands in her own.  She pressed her forehead against Willow’s.  “I know,” Tara said gently.  “I know.”

Tara reached up and took Willow’s face into both of her hands.  Then she kissed her.  After the kiss, Tara maintained eye contact with Willow and said, “You need to talk to Buffy.”

“No!” Willow cried. “I can’t!”

“You have to,” Tara insisted.

“Why are you doing this?” Willow demanded. “I-I-Is this your way of getting rid of me?”

“No, god no!” Tara answered.  “I--”  Tara stopped.  “I just…it’s the right thing to do,” she said finally. 

When Willow didn’t respond, Tara decided to make one final push.  “You have to talk to Buffy,” she said firmly.

“Talk to me about what?”

Tara and Willow froze when they heard Buffy’s voice.  The two witches turned to see Buffy standing beside their table, waiting expectantly for the answer to her question.

*     *     *

Willow returned Buffy’s gaze but didn’t know what to say.  By the time she found an appropriate response and opened her mouth to speak, Tara had beaten her to the punch.

“Willow will fill you in,” Tara said to Buffy.  “I’ve gotta go.  I’ll see you guys later.”

Tara abruptly left the table and headed for the exit.  Willow ran after her and stopped her about halfway there.

“Tara!” Willow said, grabbing Tara’s arm and turning her around so that she could face her.  “Baby…don’t do this.”

“Do what?” Tara asked.

“Leave me,” Willow said, a pained expression on her face.

“I’m not,” Tara said.  “But you and Buffy need to talk.  Call me later?”

Willow nodded in agreement, but still frowned unhappily.  Willow watched Tara leave the bar, then she returned to the table where Buffy was standing and waiting.

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked worriedly.  “Is Tara okay?”

“Oh, she’s fine,” Willow said.  “She just…had to go.”

“So, what is it you need to talk to me about?” Buffy asked. 

Willow didn’t answer.

“Well, it can’t be about being gay,” Buffy teased, “ ‘cause, hey, you already did the ‘coming out’ thing.  Right on my bed, as I recall.”

Willow blushed in embarrassment, but couldn’t help smiling in response to Buffy’s ribbing.

Okay, Willow thought to herself.  Don’t make a big deal out of it.  Just mention it lightly, get a good laugh out of it, then move on.

“Well, there is something,” Willow said before chuckling nervously.  “See, Tara has this really wacky notion that…I mean…based on things she’s sensed around us…she seems to think that you and I might…” Willow paused, looked down at her hands, then added hurriedly in a mumbled blur of words, “…have feelings for each other.”

When Willow ventured a glance in Buffy’s direction, she found the Slayer frozen, stunned.

“I know!” Willow said with another chuckle.  “Wacky, huh?  That Tara, she’s…the wackiest!”

Buffy still didn’t speak, so Willow continued, dropping her gaze back to her hands, “I mean, me, I can understand.  Getting over Oz, finding out I’m gay, rooming with the powerful and beautiful Slayer, that’d make sense, really, but you…why would you have any reason to--”

Willow’s rampant babble was interrupted by Buffy’s timber-like fall to the floor.

*     *     *

Buffy was uncomfortable.  She didn’t remember her bed being this hard.  She opened her eyes and found Willow at her side.

“Oh, Will,” Buffy said groggily but with a smile, “I had the weirdest dream.”

Buffy sat up on her elbows and opened her eyes more fully.  She took in the sight of the bar and the crowd of people around her.  Her gaze flew back to Willow.

“It wasn’t a dream, was it?” Buffy asked.

Willow smiled and shrugged, then shook her head.

“Oh, god,” Buffy said, completely mortified.

Willow took Buffy’s hands and pulled her to her feet.  “She’s okay, she’s okay,” Willow called to the crowd, hoping to disperse it.  “She just forgot to breathe, that’s all.  You can move along now.  Thank you.”

While the curious onlookers went back to their respective places, Buffy cringed in embarrassment.

“Come on,” Willow said, guiding Buffy towards the exit.  “Let’s get out of here.”

*     *     *

After Willow led Buffy out of the Bronze, the two roommates started back towards the campus of UC Sunnydale.  They didn’t say anything at first, but eventually Willow spoke up.

“Just to be clear on this,” Willow said, “should I take your…ummm…reaction…as confirmation of Tara’s suspicions?  O-O-On your part, at least?”

Buffy sighed in resignation.  There was no point in denying it now. 

“Yes,” Buffy said, “I have feelings for you.”

“H-H-How long has this…I mean, how long have you had feelings for me?” Willow asked.

“A long time, I think,” Buffy admitted.  “But I never really acknowledged them before now.”

“Why now?” Willow pressed.

“I don’t know,” Buffy answered.  “Maybe it’s because Angel’s out of the picture.  With him gone, I can see more clearly now.  I think I started really feeling it when that whole thing with Parker happened.”  Buffy stopped walking and turned to face her roommate.  “You were so supportive, and I remember thinking, ‘Why can’t I find someone like Willow?’  But you were--”

“With Oz,” Willow finished.

Buffy nodded solemnly and returned to walking.  “And when he left, I just wanted to kill him.  You were hurting so much, and I would’ve done anything to make the pain go away.”  Buffy drew a deep breath.  “I wanted to say something then, but I didn’t think I should because you were getting over Oz and you’d never given any indication that you liked girls.”

“I hadn’t allowed myself to even consider liking girls until recently,” Willow interjected, “when I met Tara.”

“Yeah…Tara,” Buffy said sadly.

“What is it?” Willow asked.

“When I found out about you and Tara, I just lost it,” Buffy said.

“So, it wasn’t Riley you were so upset about that night, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t,” Buffy said, coming to a stop in front of Stevenson.  “I had just broken things off with Riley, all with the intention of telling you how I felt, and then…”

Willow laughed sheepishly as she pictured what Buffy must have seen when she came in their dorm room.  “Surprise,” she said with a smile of apology.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed firmly.  Then she hung her head and continued.  “I don’t know why I was so shocked.  I knew there was something going on between you two, but I just didn’t want to see it, I guess.  And then when I did see it for real, I knew I’d lost my chance.  You had moved on…and ended up with Tara.”

“But I didn’t move on,” Willow argued.  “Not completely anyway.  I’d been having feelings for you for some time, but I didn’t realize what they were.  I couldn’t make sense of them.  I mean, you were so there for me after Oz left, and I felt so close to you.  By the time I started figuring it out, you were--”

“Seeing Riley,” Buffy supplied.

Willow nodded then continued.  “And then I met Tara.  And everything changed.   I changed.  She made me see who I really was.  We just connected from the very first time we met.  There’s definitely something between us.”

“Then you should be with her, Willow,” Buffy said firmly.  “What you and Tara have is special, I see that.  So, whatever this is between us, it’s not--”

“But it is!” Willow insisted.  “My feelings for you are just as strong as my feelings for Tara.  I-I-I can’t explain it, but it’s true.  I love both of you.”

Buffy stared at Willow in shock.  Did she just say she loves me?

“You love--?” Buffy shook her head in disbelief.  “Will, you can’t love both of us!”

“Why not?” Willow asked sincerely.

“Because…you can’t…it’s just not…done that way,” Buffy answered, clearly flustered by the question.  “You’ll have to choose, and I think you should choose Tara.  You’re already--”

“No!  I don’t want to choose,” Willow said.  “I don’t want to hurt anyone, Buffy!”

“No matter what, somebody’s gonna get hurt,” Buffy said softly.  “The important thing is…you just have to be honest.  Or it’s gonna be a lot worse.”

“I am being honest,” Willow said, taking Buffy’s hand. “I want you both.”

Buffy dropped her gaze, unable to meet Willow’s eyes. 

When she saw Buffy look away, Willow began to cry.  “Please don’t make me choose, Buffy, please!” Willow said in a choked voice.

At the sound of Willow’s broken voice, Buffy looked up.  When she saw how upset Willow was, she pulled the redhead into her arms and held her tightly.  She spoke reassuring words into Willow’s hair and gently rubbed her back, trying to comfort her as best she could.

About twenty yards away, Tara stood in the shadows, watching the encounter between the two roommates.  When she saw the two women embrace, Tara frowned in pain and looked away.  When she looked back up, she saw them separate.  She forced herself to keep watching.

Willow felt her tears finally stop.  She lifted her head from Buffy’s shoulders.  She tried to pull away, but Buffy didn’t release her.  Buffy gently wiped the tears from Willow’s cheek and looked into her eyes.  Then she leaned in and kissed her.  What was meant to be a comforting kiss became a passionate one as the two friends finally gave in to the love and desire that they had felt for so long.

Tara tore her eyes from the scene before her.  She clamped her hand over her mouth, stifling the sob rising in her throat.  Then she ran for her dorm.

Buffy and Willow pulled back from their kiss, breathing hard.

With a gasp, Willow said, “Wow…that was--”

“Wow,” Buffy said.

“Yeah…wow,” Willow agreed.

A group of students walked past them, looking and snickering.  Buffy and Willow both became self-conscious, wondering what the students might have seen.  The two roommates quickly separated.

“Let’s get inside,” Buffy suggested.

“Right, good idea,” Willow replied.

*     *     *

Once inside their dorm room, Willow and Buffy were unsure of what to do or how to act.  Each went to her own side of the room and simply stood there, fidgeting in place.

“So,” Buffy said.

“So,” Willow echoed.

“Yeah,” Buffy stated.

“Yeah,” Willow agreed.

“Why don’t we just go to bed?” Buffy blurted suddenly.

Willow looked at Buffy in total shock.  Then Buffy realized what she had said and how it had sounded.

“Separately!” Buffy corrected instantly.  “In our own beds.  To sleep.  That’s all.  Just sleep.”

“Yes! Sleep!” Willow quickly agreed.  “We’ll sleep on what we’ve discussed.  Everything will be much clearer in the morning.  After we sleep.”

The nervous roommates set a record in the amount of time it took them to change into their pajamas, get into bed, and then say their good-nights.  When all was said and done, sleep was the last thing on their minds.

Meanwhile, back in her dorm room, Tara sat in her chair, with her knees pulled up tightly against her chest.  She held a tissue in her hand.  With eyes red from crying, Tara looked anxiously at the phone.

*     *     *

Lindsey sat at the desk in his hotel suite, pouring over a set of photographs.  A picture of Buffy was in the center; around her were pictures of her inner circle: Joyce, Giles, Xander, Willow, Tara, Anya, Riley.  Scattered around these key photos were snap shots of Buffy interacting with one or more of each of her associates.

He picked up a facsimile copy of the prophecies concerning the “Power of Three.”  He studied the document intently, comparing its lines to the photos before him.

“ ‘Three shall die, and from their ashes, three shall rise.  Should they be joined in love and light, no evil shall stand before their eyes,’ ” Lindsey read from the document.  “Three joined in love?” he asked.  “What kind of love?”

Lindsey pulled out a photo from the side, one of Buffy, Willow, and Xander together.  “Friendship?”

Then he pulled out another photo, one of Joyce, Giles, and Buffy together.  “Family?”

Then he pulled out a third picture, this one of Buffy, Xander, and Anya.  “Threesome?” he asked.  “Yeah, right,” Lindsey said, throwing the picture down.

Lindsey ran his fingers through his hair.  He closed his eyes and tried to think.  A shrill sing-song voice intruded.

“Two of three already are, two of three soon shall be, two of three gone away, no three, no three!” Zephenia chanted like a nursery rhyme from her bedroom.

Lindsey groaned in frustration and covered his ears.

*     *     *

Spike looked around at his new crypt.  He had just relieved the former occupant of squatter’s rights when he had dusted the young male fledgling.

“Not too shabby,” Spike said with satisfaction, plopping into the dingy recliner.

He picked up a box of CDs that was sitting next to a battered boom box on the floor.  He started sorting through the music selections.

“Judy Garland?  Oklahoma?  Phantom?  Oh, for god’s sake, Yentl?” Spike said in total disbelief.

Groaning, Spike dropped the box of CDs back on the floor.

*     *     *

After an hour of staring at the ceiling, Willow finally gathered enough courage to speak.

“Buffy?” Willow called softly.

“Yes?” Buffy answered.

“You asleep?” Willow asked.

“Clearly not,” Buffy replied.

“Oh…right,” Willow said sheepishly. “I can’t sleep,” Willow stated, sitting up in her bed.

“Me either,” Buffy admitted.

“Do you mind if I join you…over there…i-i-in your bed?” Willow asked shyly.

“No, I don’t mind,” Buffy said. “I think I’d like that.”

Willow crawled out of her bed and tip-toed over to her roommate’s bed.  “Are you sure?” Willow asked, wringing her hands nervously.

“I’m sure,” Buffy said with a smile, scooting over towards the wall to make room.

Willow slipped into Buffy’s bed and snuggled up against the Slayer, resting her head on Buffy’s shoulder and draping her arm across Buffy’s stomach.  Once in place, she sighed.

“That’s better,” Willow said certainly.

“Good,” Buffy replied, giving Willow a quick hug.

Willow had thought that moving to Buffy’s bed would still her mind, but she found her thoughts racing even more.  Her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of her babbling brain.

“Am I gonna have to get ear plugs?” Buffy asked in a teasing tone.

“What?” Willow replied, totally confused.

Buffy tapped Willow’s forehead.  “I can practically hear the freeway that is your brain.  Want to give me a traffic report?”

“Oh, I’m just thinking,” Willow said.

“Yeah, I got that,” Buffy said. “What…are you thinking...about?” Buffy asked pointedly.

“I was just wondering,” Willow answered.  “Have you been interested in anyone else?  You know, of the female persuasion?  Before me, that is?”

Buffy thought a moment and then said, “Yes.”

“Faith?” Willow asked.

“Yes,” Buffy admitted.

“I figured,” Willow said.

“Was it that obvious?” Buffy asked.

“Upon retrospect, yes,” Willow said. “It probably explains why I hated her so much.  I think I must’ve been jealous.”

“That and the fact that she went psycho,” Buffy added.

“True,” Willow agreed.  “Did you two ever…you know?”

“Will, if you’ve done it, I think you should be able to say it,” Buffy teased.

“Okay, did you and Faith ever sleep together?” Willow amended.

“Yes,” Buffy answered. “Things got hot and heavy several times after slaying.”

“Did Angel know?” Willow asked.

“No, not that I know of, anyway,” Buffy said.

“Did you love her?” Willow asked.

Buffy sighed before answering.  “Part of me did,” she said. “The part that wasn’t still clinging to the hopeless situation with Angel.”  Buffy paused for a moment then continued.  “I think I was desperate to connect with someone, you know?  And then here came Faith, another Slayer.  Suddenly, I wasn’t alone anymore.  That shared destiny must have drawn me to her.”

“That and the fact that she’s hot,” Willow teased.

“Yeah, well, that too,” Buffy admitted.

“So, do you consider yourself bisexual then?” Willow asked.

“Yeah, I suppose,” Buffy said. “When I asked Giles about it, he said that most Slayers were bisexual.  What about you, Will?  You seem to be falling in the gray area, too.”

“Oh, god, I don’t know,” Willow said. “I guess, based on my track record, I’d have to say I was bisexual.  But lately I’ve been thinking about that age-old wish: ‘If I only knew then what I know now.’  If my mind had been open to the possibility earlier, would I have even gotten involved with Xander or Oz?”

“Does it really matter whether you’re gay or bisexual?” Buffy asked.

“No, I guess not,” Willow said, turning on her side to face Buffy.  “All that matters is how I feel, and on that issue I am absolutely positively certain.”

Willow leaned in and kissed Buffy, soundly but tenderly, as if underscoring her last statement. 

When they pulled apart, Buffy ran her hand through Willow’s hair and brushed her fingertips along her jaw line.  Then she looked deeply into her roommate’s eyes.

“Me too,” Buffy said, smiling.

Willow returned Buffy’s smile and then settled back into her former position snuggled up against the Slayer.  It wasn’t long before both of them were asleep.

*     *     *

Willow awoke to the sensation of someone slowly and softly stroking her hair.  When she opened her eyes, she found Buffy wide awake, lying on her side, smiling happily.

“Hey,” Willow said somewhat groggily.

“Morning, sleepy-head,” Buffy teased.

“Watch it, Miss-I’m-the-Slayer-so-I-can-live-on-two-hours-of-sleep-a-night-for-weeks-on-end,” Willow threatened.

“Or what?” Buffy countered.

“Or this!” Willow said before suddenly kissing Buffy enthusiastically.

When the kiss attack ended, Buffy laughed and said, “In that case, expect massive amounts of teasing from me.  I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“I can live with that,” Willow said with a smirk.  She kissed Buffy once more, then turned over to look at the clock.  “Ugh, no time for snoozing or smooching.”

As Willow swung her legs off the bed, Buffy pushed back the covers and sat cross-legged on the mattress.  “What are your plans for today?” she asked the redhead.

“Well, I’ve got classes this morning,” Willow answered, rising from the bed and stretching.  “After that, I’m supposed to meet Tara at the caf--  Oh, god!  Tara!” Willow said in alarm.

“What?” Buffy asked worriedly.

“I was supposed to call her last night!” Willow cried.  “I-I-I better call her right now!” she said, scrambling for the phone.

Willow hurriedly punched in the numbers and waited.  The phone rang and rang and rang and rang, then it was finally picked up.   Willow took a breath to speak, but then slumped when she realized it was only Tara’s answering machine.  Willow hung up the phone and turned back to Buffy.

“There’s no answer,” Willow said sadly.  “I got her machine.”

“She’s probably at breakfast,” Buffy offered.

“Maybe,” Willow said.  “I’m gonna go over there.  Maybe she’s just not answering her phone.”

“Good…that’s a…ummm…good idea,” Buffy said awkwardly as Willow began changing out of her pajamas into regular clothes.

Willow picked up on Buffy’s discomfort.  When she finished dressing, Willow returned to Buffy’s bed and sat across from the Slayer.  She took Buffy’s hand in her own.

“Buffy, I don’t know what’s gonna happen with all this,” Willow said, pinning Buffy with her eyes, “but what I do know is that I love you.  Okay?”

Waves of emotions crossed Buffy’s face: longing, pain, terror, acceptance, trust.  She took a deep breath and said, “Okay.”

Willow kissed Buffy quickly, grabbed her book bag, and then rushed from the room, anxious to check on Tara.

*     *     *

Willow knocked on Tara’s door and waited nervously.  Within a few moments, she exhaled in relief when she heard the door opening.  She smiled timidly when she saw Tara in the doorway.

“Hi,” Willow said.

“Hi,” Tara echoed.

Tara stepped aside and allowed Willow to enter.

“I can only stay a minute,” Willow said, moving into the middle of the room.  “I have class.”

“Me too,” Tara replied.  “I have class too.”

“I just wanted to apologize for not calling you back last night,” Willow said sincerely.

“I-I-It’s okay,” Tara said, dropping her eyes.  “I figured that w-w-would happen.”

“Nothing happened.  Well, not much anyway,” Willow explained.  “Buffy and I were just talking.  We have a lot to talk about.”

“You know…whatever happens…I’ll still be here.  I’ll still be your friend,” Tara forced herself to say.

“My ‘friend’?” Willow asked, confused.  “I-I-Is that all you--   W-W-What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I know what Buffy means to you,” Tara said.

“What about what you mean to me?” Willow countered, moving close to Tara.  “My life has been so good lately, and you’re a big part of that.  And then…”  Willow trailed off, her eyes filling with tears.

“What?” Tara prompted in a whisper.

“Then here comes the thing I’ve wanted for so long, even though I didn’t even know that I wanted it…”  Willow began to cry in earnest.  “Oh, Tara!  I love you so much, but I don’t know what to do!”

Tara reached out and caressed Willow’s cheek.  Then she said in a choked voice, “Do what makes you h-h-happy.”

Moved by Tara’s unselfish words, Willow wrapped her arms around the blonde and buried her face in her shoulder. 

Tara slowly returned the embrace, barely touching the back of Willow’s hair, already beginning to distance herself, knowing without a doubt that Willow wouldn’t choose her.

*     *     *

When Tara begged off their lunch date and Buffy went to class, Willow was left alone to contemplate her dilemma.  Willow decided to apply a little logic to the situation.  She got out a legal pad and a set of markers and sat on her bed with the pad propped up on her knees.

At the top of the pad, she wrote “ THE PROBLEM: ” in black marker.  Underneath it, she wrote “I’m in love with both Tara and Buffy.”  She sat back and looked at what she’d written.  Then she switched to a blue marker and wrote the following list:

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
(1) Choose Tara and not Buffy.
(2) Choose Buffy and not Tara.
(3) Don’t choose either one of them.
(4) Choose both of them.

Willow frowned at her list.  She switched to a red marker.  She crossed off the third solution.  There was no way she would choose that option.  She moved the marker up to the first and second solutions.  She held the tip of the pen beside the first option.

I was dating Tara first, Willow thought to herself.

But look at what happened to Buffy after she realized you were dating Tara.  She was so depressed.  Imagine what this would do to her.

Willow moved the pen to the second option.

I have had feelings for Buffy longer, Willow thought, even though it took me a while to realize it.

How can you even think of doing this to Tara, knowing how much it will hurt her?

Willow growled in frustration and then scratched violently through the first two options.

“No,” Willow said firmly. “I’m not going to choose between them.”

Willow circled the fourth solution.  “I’m going to do what makes me happy!”

Willow smiled, pleased with her decision.  Then she frowned when she considered the task before her.  Now she had to convince Buffy and Tara.

*     *     *

When Buffy came in from class that afternoon, Willow was waiting for her.  Buffy knew she was in trouble when she found Willow sitting on the end of the bed, her hands clasped resolutely in her lap.

“Willow,” Buffy said cautiously.  “What’s going on?”

“I’ve made a decision,” Willow announced.

“About what?” Buffy asked.

“About us,” Willow answered.  “You and me and Tara.  I’ve given it a lot of thought, weighing the pros and cons, and in my mind, there’s really only one solution.”

“Oh?” Buffy prompted evenly, fighting off the terror inside.

“It’s like I said last night: I want both of you,” Willow stated.

“You want to date both of us?  At the same time?” Buffy asked.

“Yes,” Willow answered.

“Will, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Buffy said, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Why not?” Willow asked, turning to face Buffy.

“The whole…logistics of it…jealousy, for one…and-and…well, jealousy, mainly,” Buffy answered.

Willow got up and knelt before Buffy.  She linked their hands and looked into Buffy’s eyes. 

“Buffy, do you love me?” Willow asked.

“Yes,” Buffy said, without hesitation.

“Do you believe that I love you?”

“Yes,” Buffy said, again without hesitation.  “But--”

Willow pressed her fingers against Buffy’s lips, halting the Slayer’s impending objection.

“No buts,” Willow said firmly.  “With love comes trust,” Willow continued.  “And I’m asking you to trust me.  We can make this work, I know it.”

Buffy closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  As she focused her mind to think, Buffy remembered her dream in the hospital.  “Follow your heart,” the dream-Tara had told her.  Buffy decided to take her advice.  Her heart told her to trust Willow, so that was what she would do.

Buffy opened her eyes.  She found Willow looking at her with a pained and worried expression.  Buffy smiled lightly and reached down to stroke Willow’s cheek.

“Okay,” Buffy agreed softly.

Willow’s face immediately lit up like the sun.  The redhead leapt from her kneeling position and tackled the Slayer onto the bed, mumbling “thank-you, thank-you” between repeated kisses until they fell apart laughing in pure giddiness.

When their laughing tapered off, Willow pulled Buffy closer and kissed her again.  “I love you, Buffy,” Willow said.  “So much.”

“I love you too,” Buffy replied.  “I think you’re crazy, but I do love you.  And I’m willing to try if you are.  I figure, part-time with you is better than full-time with someone I don’t love.”

“Thank you,” Willow said.  “You won’t be sorry, I promise.”

“What does Tara say about all this?” Buffy asked.

“I don’t know,” Willow said.  “I haven’t talked to her about it yet.”

“Well, I’m going to be staying at home tonight,” Buffy reminded her roommate.  “You know, doing the mother-daughter bonding thing over popcorn and videos.  Maybe this would be a good time to talk to her about it.”

“Yeah, I think it would,” Willow agreed.  “I’ll talk to her tonight.”

“If you need me, call, okay?” Buffy insisted.

“Okay,” Willow said.

*     *     *

Willow knocked on Tara’s door, but got no answer.  She knocked again with the same response.  She opened the door and called Tara’s name.  Then she looked inside.

Tara’s room was dark, lit only by the string of Christmas lights.  Willow checked the whole room, but Tara wasn’t there.  Willow frowned, wondering where Tara was.  The blonde was close, Willow could feel it.  She decided to follow what she was sensing. 

Willow’s connection to Tara led her to the roof of the dorm.  There she found Tara sitting on a sleeping bag, her knees drawn up tightly against her chest, her eyes staring at the stars.  When she heard someone approaching, Tara turned her head to see who it was.

“Willow?” Tara said, surprised. “How did you find me up here?”

“I just followed my heart,” Willow said, joining Tara on the spread-out sleeping bag.

For several long moments, neither woman spoke.  Then Tara said softly, “I come up here sometimes, when I need to think.  Things just seem clearer when I’m here.”

Willow shifted her position so that she was facing Tara and sitting cross-legged with her hands before her.

“Tara,” Willow said, “I have to tell you what--”

“No, I-I-I understand,” Tara said, cutting her off.  “You have to be with the person you love.”

“I am,” Willow said firmly.  “I love you, Tara, I do.”

Tara looked at Willow in shock and amazement.

“But,” Willow added, “I love Buffy, too.”

Tara’s face fell.

“I love both of you, and I want to be with both of you,” Willow continued.  “I know it sounds crazy, but I really believe that--”

“No,” Tara said suddenly as she got to her feet.

“But…you haven’t even listened to what I have to say.  If you would just--”

“Willow, I can’t,” Tara said with finality.

“You can’t listen?” Willow asked, confused.

“No,” Tara said in a choked voice, “I can’t…spend time with you, getting close to you, falling in love with you even more…I can’t do all that, knowing that it isn’t going to last.  Eventually, you’re going to m-m-make up your mind and you won’t choose me.  So, I-I-I can’t do it, I’m sorry.”

Tara started for the roof exit, but Willow caught her by the arm and stopped her.

“Tara, please,” Willow begged, “listen to me.  This isn’t some kind of competition or contest where I’m the judge and I choose a winner and a loser.”  Willow moved to stand in front of Tara.  “No one has to lose out here.”  Willow ducked her head and made eye contact with Tara until the blonde lifted her face.  “I’m not saying that I want to be with both of you until I make up my mind.  I’m saying that I want to be with both of you always.”

Tara could see the love in Willow’s eyes and feel it pouring from her, but Tara’s mind continued screaming its objections.  Tara closed her eyes and tried to calm her thoughts.

Mama, if you can hear me, Tara prayed, tell me what to do.  Please!

“Follow your heart,” Tara heard her mother’s voice whisper in her ear.

Tara’s eyes flew open, and she whipped around to see if her mother was really there.  She saw no sign of her, but she felt the echo of her mother’s presence.  And she knew that she had received the answer to her prayer.

Follow your heart, Tara repeated her mother’s words in her mind as she turned back to a confused and anxious Willow.

My heart says, ‘Be with her, love her, let her love you.  And don’t worry about the rest of it.

Tara took a deep breath and let it out, then she met Willow’s tear-filled eyes.

“Okay,” she agreed softly.

Willow fell to her knees in relief and wrapped her arms around Tara’s legs, unable to stop the flood of grateful tears.  Tara began to cry as well and soon knelt before Willow.  She took Willow’s face in her hands and kissed away her tears.

“Oh, Tara, I love you so much,” Willow said, pulling Tara into a tight embrace and a passionate kiss.

“I love you too,” Tara said, returning Willow’s passion.

After many kisses and caresses, the two witches stopped to catch their breath.  Once she could breathe normally again, Willow looked into Tara’s eyes.

“I feel horrible about everything I’ve put you through,” Willow said sincerely.  “A-A-And I’m gonna make it up to you.  Starting right now.”

“Right now?” Tara asked, with the beginnings of a smile.

Willow nodded and then added with a sexy smirk, “Right now. Right here.”

Tara’s smile widened as Willow guided her down on the sleeping bag and began making her amends.

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