While I wrote the pages About Me and my feelings, I meditate about my life, what was and what is today, and from those thoughts and memories arose me two questions, and I am sure that many more they have wondered the same thing.
Who read these lines they can find that the answers are not very satisfactory but to answer them has not been easy work. I should make decisions that not alone they affect me to my, since also they affect others to the around mine. I was looking for many years these answers
Still when I have conquered the fear of buying woman's clothes, I have never been able to leave to the street dressed as a girl. I suppose that I am afraid to be recognized or to that it is noticed that in fact I am man. I am even afraid to the jeers
I would like to be able to leave dressed, but the more fence that I have been of they have been it the times in that I leave to the garden of my house, when it is at night and everybody are sleeping.
Some girls that I knew (always at the distance) at chat rooms in some channels for crossdresed, has invited me to go out with them, but I have never accepted. I feel admiration for those that if they dare and they leave to pass it well in a disco or something like that.
Perhaps I continue being a TVGirl of Closet because it is already a habit. But that doesn't bother me. To my I like to be like I am and I like to live my femininity in the privacy of my house and alone through these pages it is that I dare to show my life, since it is a very anonymous way of making it.
Perhaps, some day I dare and leave the closet, but that won't be soon.
This is another great doubt in my life. If I like to feel woman and my femininity in the way in that I make it to live, why don't I change sex? If I changed my sex me my femininity could live the whole time and I could come out to the street without fear, because it would not care if they recognize me and neither it would be important what they said of about me. Then, why don't I make it?
The answer to this question is: because I don't want. .
It is certain that I live very intensely me feminine life, is also certain that, like a man, I don't pass it bad. I love my wife and I have two children that are even small. If it changed sex, it would be very difficult to educate them and I am not so irresponsible with peoples that depend on my.
Also, this way I enjoy the best of both worlds, I enjoy the beautiful things that a woman can give to a man, and I enjoy the femininity that takes me to want to be like one of them...
... and I like those two worlds.
in this page
