Yeah, words and stuff. I write. I'm literate. Specifically this page relates to my creative writing endeavours. Unfortunately there ain't much here right now because all the writing I've done is on paper in a box right now, and I can't be bothered to copy it all out. Still, watch this space for some short stories, a short film script and perhaps some other oddities.
Like all troubled teenagers, I used to write a lot of this, but later came to realise that it was almost all completely dire. I haven't written poetry in years, although I've written a fair amount of songs. There are only two poems I wrote which I still think are kind of okay, both from a phase when I was relentlessly pruning words from my work to try to capture an idea or a feeling in as distilled a way as possible.
An eclipse of inky blackness
Shadowy sea crashing in white noise
Around dim corners of consciousness
Obscure rock counts HOUR:MINUTE in red glow
DJ whispers, softly, feminine
Urging sleep but not
Break a thousand insomniac hearts
The light shifts
New minute new sound
Blackness draws further
How electric that first touch must be
How smooth the feel of flesh on flesh
My body screams; my mind sighs
I've written a bunch of these. You can find a list of the LARPy ones here (if that doesn't work, you'll have to go to the front page of the site, here, and register). Here is the one which is probably the most popular:
(Spoken intro) This is a story about how easy it is to stray from the right path:
A tale of love, death, and maybe some more love.
For any lawkeepers in the audience, I'd like to point out that the story is entirely fabricated.
Except for that bit about me being a Love God...
This tale begins like many others in the world
It starts along the lines of boy meets girl
I was the boy, though this was many moons ago
I've still got my mojo - ladies you should know
The girl well she was gorgeous, she had lovely flowing hair
I can't recall her name, but who the hell cares?
The night was lit up bright by the silver moon above
Our eyes met and we both knew we were in love
She gave me many friction burns, and well... I gave her one
Then I gave her another, and the night went on and on
We made the earth move, but then tragedy it struck
She just stopped breathing whilst we were in mid.... Flow
I checked her pulse but it is absent to this day
I just got frightened and so then I ran away
Imagine my surprise a week later, maybe more
When my dead lover came and knocked upon my door
CHORUS 1:
She said "Bleeeeeeeeeeurgh!"
She said "Bleeeeeeeeeeurgh!"
So I said "I may be a hopeless romantic
But you're just downright necromantic
Have you ever heard the phrase 'Til Death Do Us Part'?
No hormonal zombie could ever win my heart!"
She was wearing perfume and a stunning evening dress
But her skin was peeling off, she looked a total mess
Her dead eyes seemed to say "How I really miss ya"
But her pattern was more corrupt than the head of the Militia
Some necromancer guy must have raised her from the dead
And she'd lurched back to me determined to give head
I suppose it's quite sweet, that Love can survive Death
I wasn't so keen when I smelt her rancid breath
She said.... (CHORUS 1)
I pushed her out the door and back into the street
But she came crawling back and grovelled at my feet
I hired an incantor wedge, but they did not expect
Her lust to be so strong - she murmured "No effect"
I couldn't dismiss her, and she followed me for days
I couldn't sleep in case she had her wicked way
One night I got so tired I began to fall asleep
Before I knew it she was there between my sheets
And she said... (CHORUS 1)
She still made my pulse race, and eventually I cracked
She didn't have a pulse but was still great in the sack
Although she was a putrid bag of flesh and bones
She never whined like other women I have known
She just said "Bleeeeeeeeeuuuurgh" (That's all she said now)
She said "Bleeeeeeeeeuuuurgh" (That's all she said now)
CHORUS 2:
I see you're shocked, I see your disgusted frowns
She may be dead but I'm not dead from the waist down
And I suppose that it only goes to show
I loved a dead girl because dead girls don't say "No"....
The spell was broken, and she fell down limp at last
I left her lying there and took a long hot bath
When I returned she had just vanished from the bed
She'd left a love letter and this is what it said:
It said "Bleeeeeeeeeuuuurgh"
It said "Bleeeeeeeeeuuuurgh" (I don't know how you spell that)
(CHORUS 2)
Coming soon(ish)
Coming soon(ish)
